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  1. #1
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    Default Anger management

    Sorry to vent but I feel so annoyed

    So last night I was at my partners mothers house and on the way home we would usually go past the station pick my car up and go home. For whatever reason as this never happens I told my partner to drive my car home and I'll drive his.. He stopped by the shops to get dog food so I was home before him and after 20 minutes he still wasn't home so I was a bit worried and noticed my car in the drive way (a little hatchback) and his car gone (a 4x4) anyway I'm about to call him and he pulls into the drive way and I asked him what happened why did he need to take his car thinking he saw a lawn mower or something in hard rubbish lol.

    So apparently on his way home there was some 'druggie' who was driving like an idiot he said a car behind the guy over took him and the other 'druggie guy' tried to swerve at him... Which to me would ring alarm bells.. My partner didn't car and was behind him doing 80km the guy slams his breaks on my partner swerved to the other side of the road lucky there were no other cars coming and this 'druggie' guy starts getting out of his car at which point my partner drives off goes home gets his 4x4 drive and goes back in hope the guy was still there.

    Thankfully he wasn't as I don't even know what his intentions were and I think its so irresponsible it scares me.

    The above would have frustrated me there's no doubt about that! But I just don't understand the logic of driving back. He has the shortest temper and will just snap at anytime and its so frustrating. I got really upset with him when he was telling me and suggested anger management... Safe to say he didn't like that suggestion.

    I'm I over reacting???
    Last edited by sarah1502; 20-10-2015 at 07:00.

  2. #2
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    I'd be upset too! He could have put himself in a really bad situation.

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    sarah1502  (20-10-2015)

  4. #3
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    Sorry, his behaviour is completely idiotic. He needs some serious anger management if he believes that was a sane thing to do.

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    sarah1502  (20-10-2015)

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    I think your fears about his short fuse/temper are very valid. It could certainly get him in trouble one day, which could impact not only himself but his family.

    Perhaps have another chat to him, tell him you're not attacking him but you're actually concerned. Does he think his behaviour is reasonable, or is he willing to admit that his temper is a bit of an issue?

    Telling someone straight up that they need anger management is pretty confronting, so I can see why he didn't take to this well (even if it is the truth).

    If he is willing to change, I'm sure there are strategies he can implement to self manage his emotions - but he will need to be willing to accept that it's a problem. Unfortunately we can't control other people's actions, and if they want to change it really comes down to them.

  7. #5
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    Default Anger management

    We haven't really spoken since last so I sent him a msg saying..

    "Can we stop this ignoring each other.. I'm upset and I got upset because I feel that I can't trust you in situations like that you get so mad so easily and lose your temper and it worries me... Your actions wouldn't have only affected you especially if he had a knife or a gun and something happened to you"

    He hasn't responded.. Gonna get interesting on the dinner table tonight...
    Last edited by sarah1502; 20-10-2015 at 13:13.

  8. #6
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    Default Anger management

    Spoke to soon so he responded and said that he wanted to make sure the guy didn't stop anyone else and that he made his blood boil and scared him... Then he said sorry for upsetting me

    I'll take that as an appology even though I don't think that was intentions going back...

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    Keep an eye on it. If anything similar happens be very specific with your request - eg 'this was not normal, it was unsafe, it crosses a line for me, if this happens again I would for you to see someone to help with. alternative strategies.

  10. #8
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    I spoke with him last night about it and said it was crazy and I don't understand why he would do something like that. We are currently TTC so asked if we had a family would he still go back for him and he said no which I don't know... Anyway I pretty much said to him if it happens again that's not the type of person I would want to be with... He just sat there quietly so hopefully he thinks twice next time.. Hopefully there isn't a next time!

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    Good luck. Might be worth postponing ttc until you are confident hubby has nipped his anger in the bud?


 

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