+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    48
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0

    Default Bonding with 4 month old

    Hi guys, I have a 4 month old boy and up until recently my baby was a real mummy's boy, crying for anyone else who held him and settled only with me. I feel bad admitting this but I loved the special bond me and bubba shared, it made me feel loved and I felt like his favourite.
    Recently it's all changed, he will settle for almost anyone and he doesn't seem to have any preference for me at all. The only preference he now shows is for his dad when he walks in from work. He gazes at him and smiles at him and clearly wants to be with dad.
    I am glad he loves his dad, but I really really want to be my sons first preference with daddy being second. I don't know if this is bad feelings or not but I can't help my feelings. I am at home with our baby all day and do everything for him (hubby won't even change a nappy) and I wear him a lot, give him lots of attention etc. does our baby not prefer me? What can I do to turn it around?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    3,284
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked
    993
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    In all honesty your son sounds well adjusted and happy. You are lucky he will settle for others. You will always be his #1 mum

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to maternidade For This Useful Post:

    Jane17031703  (17-10-2015)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    11,607
    Thanks
    7,500
    Thanked
    6,299
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 29/5/15Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week100 Posts in a week
    I second PP. my daughter is now 1 and is only just starting to want to go to other people. Bubs personality might have a lot to do with it.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Mamasupial For This Useful Post:

    Jane17031703  (17-10-2015)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    5,029
    Thanks
    985
    Thanked
    3,168
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    My DS was a mummy's boy for... well a long time. Trust me when I say that if your bub is happy to go to other people - especially your DH.

    It is draining when you have a gery clingy bub who only wants you - physically and mentally. I get your feelings - we carry our babies in our bellies for 40 weeks. They are 'ours only' in that time. And it's hard to let go. I did experience so many moments of not wanting anyone else holding him - so I get it.

    In saying all of that you are home with him all day - anyone else is just 'different' and 'fun'. Also bubs tend to go through separation anxiety later so you will probably find that his 'preference' changes over time.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to twinklify For This Useful Post:

    Jane17031703  (17-10-2015)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2,620
    Thanks
    2,602
    Thanked
    2,435
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Hun, your DS being content to go to others actually just means you've done an exceptional job! It means that you've made him feel so safe and loved that he feels comfortable to go to others as he knows he's safe.

    My DS is the same, gets soooo excited to see Daddy! But that's because he's with me all day, and he only gets too see Daddy for a few hours of the day.

    Don't take it personally, as hard as that is. You know that you're his world, his safe place and that he loves you and finds his comfort in your arms.

  9. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Frankenmum For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (17-10-2015),babyno1onboard  (17-10-2015),Jane17031703  (17-10-2015),littleriv  (17-10-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (17-10-2015)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,871
    Thanks
    1,676
    Thanked
    1,336
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I agree with what everyone else has already said.

    I'll also add that if you were to go out for an hour or so and leave bub with Dad, you'd probably find bub showed the same signs of excitement when you got back, as he does when your hubby gets home from work.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tiny Dancer For This Useful Post:

    Jane17031703  (17-10-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (17-10-2015)

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    48
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0
    Wow thanks guys. That really is all comforting and nice to know. I really appreciate the lack of judgement too. I was half expecting to be judged for having those feelings. So thank you.

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    588
    Thanks
    58
    Thanked
    349
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My DD is now 2.5 and I admit it still hurts a bit when Ive spent all day with her, done everything for her then the minute DH gets home it's 'Daddy!' and she's all over him.
    But... I remind myself how lucky she is to have two parents who love and adore her. She has a special relationship with both of us. And yes, it does make it so much easier for when I do need to go out that she is happy with DH and he can car for her too.
    So try and look on the positives! Go and grab yourself a cup of tea while your DS has some daddy time


 

Similar Threads

  1. 6 month old
    By rubytuesday24 in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 15-10-2015, 21:27

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Be In BlossomWe offer physiotherapy run pregnancy Pilates, pregnancy Aerobics, and Mummy Pilates & Baby Massage classes with a ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
IVF/FET April & May chatConception & Fertility General Chat
CD8, Who's also at the start of their cycle and TTC?Conception & Fertility General Chat
Considering a terminationShould we have another baby?
IVF babies due March/April/May 2017#2pregnancy and babies through IVF
Things your pets have eaten and shouldn't haveGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
REVIEWS
"Pigeon teats rule!"
by Alex
Pigeon PP Wide Neck reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›