+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
  1. #1
    White Mage's Avatar
    White Mage is offline I am going to go to bed.. for a few days
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    9,680
    Thanks
    1,366
    Thanked
    1,537
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Honest as I can be.

    I was recently told by my psych that I am beginning to become a little depressed.
    I have held it so well together for so long, I am finally beginning to feel the pressures of my life get to me.

    I am frustrated with life. I am angry and defensive and unreasonable sometimes. Right now I am about an 8 on the anger meter. My DH has gotten the brunt of it all. Some of it is warranted.

    I feel like I have screwed my life up, even though my life is better then others.

    I am actually struggling right now to even speak about my issues.

    My children are the trolls of my existence, love them, but my god, I can't deal with a lot that goes on these days that they do. I even get angry over them getting sick, which happens way too often.
    Every time we have plans to do something fun or important, something happens. Someone is sick is usually the main reason.
    I have my DS2's important speech therapy session today. Purposely picked today because DS1 has Preschool. My heater breaks late last night and now I have to cancel my appointment for the 3rd time, because I have to now wait for a plumber to show.. 'SOMETIME' today. I pray they don't arrive while I am dropping or picking up Ds1.

    Mother was right.. never plan, it never happens.

    I can't even shower or anything right now, cause the gas is off.

    My DH and I are having issues regarding him having the snip. Me wanting the option to stay open as long as he is allowed between now and actually having the procedure. I may change my mind.
    But now it's become more about his inadequacy as a person and a provider that seems to be the key factor as to why he has not thought about my feelings on all this.

    I hate my life most days. I hate people most days. I am hating myself all the time.

    My best friend and I are traveling different paths these days. That ship is beginning to sail away....

    The stress of having my sons ready for school and preschool with assistant aids, has been draining, talking about your children's worst qualities makes you think you have totally failed somehow.

    The fact I feel like I am alone a lot as well. And little support.

    The fact that I know I am not liked by my inlaws because of how I do things. The fact that they don't understand even though think they do.

    I can't deal anymore..

    I feel like I have little to no control.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,729
    Thanks
    1,563
    Thanked
    1,257
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hugs for you. You sound like you have a lot on your plate.

    In regards to the anger, you might find that's a symptom of the depression. Both times I've been diagnosed with depression I know I have been feeling angry a lot more frequently, and stronger than is warranted. The feelings of lack of control, failure and isolation is also likely amplified by depression. Knowing this doesn't necessarily make it easier to manage right now, but it will later on.

    Can I ask how you're feeling about your psych saying you're depressed? I've found it a hard pill to swallow. Did you discuss treatment options? How did you feel about those?

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Tiny Dancer For This Useful Post:

    White Mage  (14-10-2015)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    10,457
    Thanks
    3,298
    Thanked
    6,356
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Oh hon

    You sound completely overwhelmed, rightly so.

    The fact you have two little guys with additional needs makes general day-to-day life really full on, but when you have numerous other issues going on it's understandable that you are going to reach that point where you just feel it's all too much.

    There will always be additional challenges with your boys, challenges I face with my own little DS who is on the spectrum. A lot of the other stuff you have mentioned will pass or can be worked through though. Life will be less daunting once some of these issues are off the table.

    Keep seeing your psych and working through it all, there is hope.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Degrassi For This Useful Post:

    sajimum  (14-10-2015),White Mage  (14-10-2015)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,427
    Thanks
    840
    Thanked
    1,117
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    What a lot of 'stuff' you have going on in your life right now - no wonder it's overwhelming and starting to get to you. Good on you for admitting it to your psych though. Keeping those lines of communication open and truthful is really important.

    Do you have a treatment plan with your psych and GP?

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to sajimum For This Useful Post:

    White Mage  (14-10-2015)

  8. #5
    White Mage's Avatar
    White Mage is offline I am going to go to bed.. for a few days
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    9,680
    Thanks
    1,366
    Thanked
    1,537
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    My psych is actually working through my boys Early Intervention Service. She sees me when I need to upload. She has suggested I see ny gp and get a plan put in. And to see a psych that can see me more frequently. I have been stalling in going for some time.

    I wasn't too surprised by her telling me i have depression. I think I have known it deep down for sometime. Was nice to finally have someone verify it.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to White Mage For This Useful Post:

    Tiny Dancer  (14-10-2015)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,427
    Thanks
    840
    Thanked
    1,117
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Even though I know it's hard, definitely try to follow up with your GP to get a mental health plan done. Hopefully they can recommend a good psych to follow up with and you 'click' with them. It is so worth taking the time to focus on your mental health. Is your DH supportive of this?

  11. #7
    White Mage's Avatar
    White Mage is offline I am going to go to bed.. for a few days
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    9,680
    Thanks
    1,366
    Thanked
    1,537
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Yes. Even though he can be a complete douche sometimes. He still wants me to be happy.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to White Mage For This Useful Post:

    sajimum  (14-10-2015)

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,729
    Thanks
    1,563
    Thanked
    1,257
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by White Mage View Post
    My psych is actually working through my boys Early Intervention Service. She sees me when I need to upload. She has suggested I see ny gp and get a plan put in. And to see a psych that can see me more frequently. I have been stalling in going for some time.

    I wasn't too surprised by her telling me i have depression. I think I have known it deep down for sometime. Was nice to finally have someone verify it.
    I'm glad it hasn't knocked you around too much. I put off going to my GP about PND for 5 months. I now wish I hadn't! Feeling so much better. Can you find a support group in your area? Talking to someone who understands makes it easier. Or otherwise there is always BH.

    It's good your DH is supportive of your mental health. It makes all the difference. Since you're feeling like you have no control, could you sit down with him and work out a plan to help get you feeling like yourself again? It might help to reduce that feeling a little.

  14. #9
    White Mage's Avatar
    White Mage is offline I am going to go to bed.. for a few days
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    9,680
    Thanks
    1,366
    Thanked
    1,537
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Dh is pretty aware and understanding of whats going on with my mental health. He worries about me a lot. But I do test him a lot. I don't mean to. Sometimes I snap and I mentally wail on him.
    We both agreed that I need some time away. For both our sakes. And this weekend I going to my sister's in Canberra for a weekend.
    We also really need more date nights.. cause honestly Dh and I get maybe 1 night out every 6 months.

    I have a support group through my Early Intervention service. We get together once a month for a mummy night out for dinner and a chat.
    We also talk to each other on facebook a lot. The ladies are lovely. But I do have issues asking for help. I need to stop trying to do it on my own.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to White Mage For This Useful Post:

    Tiny Dancer  (14-10-2015)

  16. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Country WA
    Posts
    7,048
    Thanks
    3,747
    Thanked
    3,447
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Hugs. That's a lot to deal with. I do t have any other advice from hat the other ladies have said, but I hope you feel a bit better for getting it off your chest and can enjoy your weekend away.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Californication For This Useful Post:

    White Mage  (14-10-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Let's keep the new PM honest #2
    By Father in forum General Election Discussion
    Replies: 133
    Last Post: 13-06-2015, 21:25
  2. If I'm really honest..
    By Nomia in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 12-11-2014, 13:15

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Impressionable KidsImpressionable Kids are Australia's leader in framed children's memorabilia and specialise in framed baby hand and feet ...
REVIEWS
"Pigeon teats rule!"
by Alex
Pigeon PP Wide Neck reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›