We are equal share here, I'm very lucky. I'm up BF newborn in middle of night and he'll occupy toddler during day to give let me nap etc
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09-10-2015 22:52 #11
10-10-2015 06:29 #12
You poor thing OP, I'm so sorry you're not getting the help you deserve! I got zero help from XH when we were together. He was working 9-5 and I was on maternity leave so obviously I was happy to do most of it but he did not want to be involved with anything at all & would get incredibly aggressive when asked. DP is very different. He works long hours in senior management as well as his own business which both take him all over the state, I work 20 hours a week but he still helps out whenever I need it. He'll happily come home and do the bath/bottle/book/bed routine, or take over if I've had a bad night & need a nap. If he can do it, your DH can!
10-10-2015 09:35 #13
Zilch. Unless I tell /whinge at him to help. Even then its all too much for him.
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10-10-2015 09:45 #14
I'm sorry you're not getting support.
My DP works away so it's obviously just me most of the time. When he's home he does not work and his two other children stay with us. He does about 70% of the domestic stuff, me 30%.
10-10-2015 10:04 #15
My ex did nothing for our child. He "worked" so it was my job it would seem to do everything else. Even on the weekends.
10-10-2015 11:39 #16
My partner does 50% of everything.
He works full time and I am home with the children while also working part time from home.
Your partner needs a reality check! He isn't being a father or partner at the moment.
10-10-2015 11:51 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
Wow, that's tough, especially since you're both working full time.
I'm sahm with a 15 month old and am also 23 weeks pregnant. Also having some pain issues with ab separation etc. Luckily our DS has always been a good sleeper though we have had our share of early wake ups recently with teething and sickness. DH cooks dinner probably 60% of the time and does most of the baths except the odd night where he's late from work. He will usually get DS out of his cot in the mornings and bring him into our room for cuddles til it's time to get up. Weekends he's pretty good at letting me have a sleep in or go for nap if I need as well.
10-10-2015 13:00 #18
Maybe write up a list of what you each currently do, then discuss how to even things out? Best do it now while you're working, once you're on mat leave he will be worse.
I think it should be alternating nights of getting up to the child. I'm a solo mum so my answer is hypothetical
10-10-2015 14:18 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
Wow that is a lot on you! I agree with writting a list of all 'jobs' that need to be done and dividing then with the majority on his list since you are currently pregnant and you both work. He should be doing more.
10-10-2015 19:22 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I bet his job isn't more demanding than growing a human.
You need rest, not just for you but for your bub too. You are both working so you both need to do your share of the night parenting as well. I don't work much so I mostly get up with our son, but even if I'm not working the next day, if I'm having a really bad night with DS, my husband will always get up and help if I ask. Then he gets up at 6am. You are both parents, so the parenting should be 50/50. And part of being a parent for you right now is looking after your belly bub which means he needs to be more hands on with your toddler.
Unless, as VicPark said, he has a very important job where people's lives are on the line and he really needs to concentrate, then he needs to be helping you. No excuses.
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