I'm interested to see how much help y'all get from hubby/partner with the kids? Ie With sleep training/bedtime/household etc
I'm at my wits end with the sleeping thing with Mr 19month going thru the latest wonder leap/sleep regression. I'm 24 weeks pregnant and partner will not help out with the night time parenting and when made to because LO is actually Screaming out for his dad, makes the biggest deal about it like I dump him with Lo.Says his job is very demanding and he NEEDS his sleep.... Forgets that I too work full time, and am pregnant with number two and have a bad back from last pregnancy so I too need the sleep!!!
So last night I was With with lo from 12am till 3.45am as he didn't get bak to sleep till then and had to wake up at 7am to get ready for work.
So over it right now (sigh) and really hope this regression/stage doesn't last long
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08-10-2015 22:53 #1Senior Member
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- Feb 2014
09-10-2015 00:48 #2
You need sleep too that's not fair. Could you have a talk with him again? It's inly going to get harder and more exhausting as your pregnancy progresses so he needs to step up.
I'm really lucky as its all pretty much 50/50 with dh and I. Neither of us would cope otherwise.
09-10-2015 02:51 #3
When dh is in the same house he is hands on but needs to be 'motivated'. Like tonight, I'm feeding dd3 and I can hear dd1 having a night mare (starting to scream) but I had to wake dh and tell him what do do.
Somehow he never hears the kids.
I think op you need to kick your dh in the bum.
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09-10-2015 05:36 #4-
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- Apr 2012
Wtf... Why are you letting your DP get away with that crap? If you are both working then unless your DP is a brain surgeon you split everything 50-50. Free time. Cooking dinner. Cleaning the toilet. Kids night duties. Actually I take that back - you are pregnant so your hubby should be doing more that his 50% work so you get more than your 50% rest.
Sorry unless your hubby has a very very (very!) specialised job I think he's being an *******. You need to ask him point blank why his sleep is more valuable than yours. And unless he comes up with a bloody good reason tell him he's dreaming and needs to pull his finger out.
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09-10-2015 06:51 #5
My hubby works (night shift) and I am currently a sahm. Sunday night to Thursday night I get up our son overnight Friday and Saturday hubby gets up overnight. Saturday and Sunday hubby gets up in the morning to ds to let me get some extra sleep. When it comes to house work hubby probably does more then me when he is here and is hands on with out son. When he is home at night (Saturday/Sunday) he does dinner and will do the bath/bed routine and put our son down for his naps during the day those days too. If there is a long weekend then the I get an extra night off bath/bed and overnight getting up as well as getting an extra sleep in. I think you need to speak to your oh about the division of labour, unless there is some reason he NEEDS to have sleep (operating on someone early in morning for example) then he should help you out. Our division of labour will change when I get a job and hubby will help out overnight so I that I am exhausted at work, well that's what we have spoken about and hubby decided but I am not sure if much will change as he gets home from work at midnight and I worry about him being tired when driving on the country roads he drives on.
09-10-2015 17:25 #6
Luckily my DD doesn't wake too much at night except when sick. She was awake at 11,1 and 5 last night, DH didn't hear her once! I do 90% of it as I only work 2 days but I will ask DH for help if I need it. He does help
out when I ask.
09-10-2015 21:31 #7
DH and I both work full time. Although this time of year is more than full time for him - harvest.
We both share the workload at home and in caring for DS. The load is not 50/50.
At the moment it's 70/30 (me at 70) but usually it's the other way - DH 70 and me 30.
09-10-2015 22:03 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
DH works 7 days a week on the family farm. When he is home he will do the shower and bed thing with me and maybe load the dishwasher. Otherwise he doesn't really do anything.
09-10-2015 22:10 #9
It's 50/50 over here. Since we have a toddler and a baby, DH looks more after the toddler for nightmare in the middle of the night or getting up to him early morning so I can sleep in.
I do all the baby feeds during the night, usually just one though.
09-10-2015 22:46 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
My DH works full time gone from 6:30am-5pm and I'm on maternity leave with our 14 week old. I do all night feeds as she's exclusively breastfed. If she cracks it overnight he will come and help me though. He does all bathing when he gets home from work and whoever is free does bedtime/settling during the week. As much as I can I get him to handle naps/settling/resettling on the weekend and as much playtime as possible. He does do more around the house now too, started that in my third trimester. He was never lazy just not as organized or ocd about cleaning as I am.
If I was working full time then everything would be 50/50 though. If I was working full time and pregnant then I'd expect as things went on towards third trimester then he'd pick up some slack and give me a break.
Your DS has two parents. Your DH needs to be reminded of this and up his game! I hope you get the support you need.
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