Gosh this is such an interesting thread and for me quite honestly quite an emotive topic. I had my kids lateish (34) so had my education, travel and work experience behind me, not to mention many years of single life fun 😉 But in my case I have no job to fall back on as the same role doesn't exist here. Even with a degree and masters I'll have to retrain if I want to work again - which I do but when bub is older. But by then I'll be mid-late 40's!!!
The thing about a nanny is interesting too. We have 3 kids no help no family yada yada. If we were mega rich I might employ a nanny or a housekeeper so all doesn't fall on me. There is so much work involved in running a house and looking after kids I don't think having a nanny would equate to being lazy. But we're not mega rich so it's a mute point.
I must admit I do feel vulnerable financially. I'm pretty much in charge of our finances and everything is in both our names but if something happened and I was on my own I would be stuffed. It's part of what makes me feel trapped and suffocated at times despite loving being home with kids as babies.
I am going to get onto sorting out my own super though after reading this I've got an English pension but not sure how that works and NO Aussie super as yet...
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10-10-2015 11:22 #151Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
10-10-2015 11:55 #152Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
I would support my child if they decided to be a SAHP. I have a boy and am expecting a possible girl. I would like my children to have enough of an education in order to work if necessary. Atm I work part time. After our second bub I probably will not go back to the same job. I am wanting to be involved in DS's school when he starts to keep up some form of skills and adult interaction.
I do plan and going back to work after both kids are in school. We will see.
10-10-2015 16:30 #153
Well I only have boys so I can't really answer this personally, but one day my boys may have girlfriends/wives and face this too. I would be disappointed/saddened if they felt they were forced into a choice, whether that be being a sahm or feeling pressure to put their baby/s into care to pursue a career. I have seen the amazing contributions sahms make to their community as volunteers and would be proud to have a daughter/daughter in law make that contribution.
10-10-2015 17:05 #154
I have only read a couple of comments & will go back & read through from the beginning.... I was thinking about this today in regards to my mother's group - out of 11 families there are no SAHMs but there are 2 SAHDs & a couple (including my family) with shared care between both parents (still together) & balancing work arrangements. There is so much more flexibility in the workplace that results in so many more options than the old school working vs SAH parent. I hope in 20 - 30 years that flexibility has continued & there are more options to balance work & home life. I also would not be bothered if either a son or a daughter chose to be a SAH parent. Whatever works for their family!
10-10-2015 18:55 #155Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I love being a (mostly) stay at home mum. I do work a couple of days a week and earn a bit of money selling Jamberry but not enough to make me "financially independent". Would I be disappointed if my child chose to do the same? Not at all. Being at home raising my son is one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done with my life and I would love my kids to be able to have the same experience IF that is what they wanted. I have a strong relationship with my husband, and he is a decent guy. Being reliant on him for financial stability for our family is not a bad thing IMO We are a family, a team. Kids are only little for a short time and I think if you want to spend that time with them and you can afford to do it then you should.
What I would hate would be for my kid to be forced into a situation they are not happy with. Whether that's staying at home or working. I want them to make their own choices and be happy with their decisions.
10-10-2015 19:51 #156
10-10-2015 19:54 #157
10-10-2015 20:25 #158
I married DH and changed my names on the day but I haven't lodged anything... Fast forward two years! I don't want too and he knows it. It's my name, it's who I am. The kids have his name that's enough.
I would be upset and afraid. I'm uneducated, no job etc and I do rely on my DH. I don't want the same for my kids. I am only just getting educated now at 25.
11-10-2015 15:32 #159
11-10-2015 15:48 #160
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