I was thinking today about the ways in which parenthood is different to how I expected it to be. I have almost 1yr old DS, and I guess the upcoming birthday has made me reflective.
I don't think anything could have prepared me completely, but I guess I had ideas in my head about what it would be like.
For example, I thought maternity leave would be more relaxing. Lol. How wrong I was there - never worked harder in my life, at least at the start!
I had no idea about how hard it would be to get out of the house with bub - it's still not easy, and my bub is almost 1!
And I know this might sound silly, but I never expected to love my bub as fiercely as I do. He's a very wanted and planned baby - IVF - so it's not that he was a surprise and I had to get used to the idea - but I just love my DS in a way that I never expected. I know that probably sounds kind of odd, or lame...
So, is parenthood different to what you expected?
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08-10-2015 16:15 #1
Is parenthood different to what you expected?
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Little Miss Sunshine (08-10-2015)
08-10-2015 16:23 #2
Yes and no. I knew it would be hard but I don't think you ever get how hard until you have your own children.
With DD I had all these expectations. That I would bf. It's the most natural thing in the world right? That I would go back to work bc that's what independent smart women did. But I found a lot of that went out the window. I couldn't bf. I did go back to work for a year when DD was 5 months old and hated it. I'm not ashamed one iota to admit I'm really not interested in a career anymore.
I guess I never expected to love being a mum so much? Don't get me wrong, some days I'm proverbially (and almost literally) in a corner rocking back and forth like a nutcase lol But truth be told if things were different I would have happily gone back for a 4th as I feel like I'm meant to be a mother. I know that probably sounds pathetic to the working mums who are probably tut tutting at my lack of career drive now but that's how I feel.
08-10-2015 16:28 #3
I hear you completely, @delirium!
I knew I 'd have problems bf-ing, but thought we'd eventually get there - nope. Exclusive expressing for us! Didn't expect that.
I thought I'd be happy to go back to work, and sooner rather than later, but I'm finding I have mixed feelings about it, as my mat leave is coming to an end.I don't think I'll do it, but I could almost see myself as a SAHM - and I never, never would have expected that.
I guess being a mum is both harder, and better, than I thought it would be somehow.
08-10-2015 16:30 #4Senior Member
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- Aug 2013
Yes and no. But I do wish I was more prepared for when kids grow into adults and leave the nest.. 1 left at home and she's leaving in about 6 weeks... I want my babies back
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08-10-2015 16:36 #5Senior Member
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- Jul 2015
My child isn't here yet, currently 14 weeks... I work as a nanny and have cared for various age groups (newborn - 10) and I already know that caring for and raising my nanny children will be vastly different to raising my own. I have no idea what to expect for my partner and I, other than we agree on most things for how we'd like to raise our child. That, and also he/she will be loved.
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08-10-2015 16:39 #6
I didn't really go into it with any preconceived ideas about what it would be like...hadn't thought much about it. Having said that, raising older children (DS is 8 and my DSSs are 8,12 & 14) is kind of just like I thought it would be. I really enjoy the company of kids as they get older. Not that I don't love my kids as babies and toddlers, I just personally cope better when kids are at an age when you can actually discuss things with them. I find it a real challenge to try to figure out what's going on in a baby's head. I knew from the get go that I would enjoy older kids more than babies and toddlers (but of course I love them just the same!).
08-10-2015 16:40 #7
Yes - but then I don't think I had any preconceived ideas either. I think the saying is true that life changes completely but you can't possibly explain it.
I think the biggest difference is just how much it affects your relationship. DH & I have a great relationship but having a child has definitely changed it, can't really explain how. Also it just seems to change the way you view life in general, what's important, etc.
Now I am wandering if having a second child will change things yet again....!!
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08-10-2015 16:47 #8
08-10-2015 17:16 #9Senior Member
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- Aug 2014
For me I always expected it to be hard. I have a 14 week old so it's early days but it's way harder than I expected and more stressful and frustrating. Wow. I'm still in shell shock. I think it's something you just can't prepare for or appreciate until you've had the baby.
BUT I also love her way more than I ever thought possible. An ivf baby so totally planned and a long time coming, but I still worried so much about whether I would love her enough. The way she looks up at me and breaks into the biggest smile when I go to get her out of her cot just melts me no matter how hard the day has been. The way she stares at me and goo's and gaa's at me is just so sweet. I'm surprised at how totally consumed I am by her. We are currently obsessed with each other which I think is lovely bonding. I'm equally sad and excited as she gets bigger and bigger. I thought I might go back to work after 6 months but I've changed my mind
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08-10-2015 18:03 #10
I think I must have spent way too much time on pinterest before DS was born! I had this idea that we sit and I'd read books and sing to him, that we'd do finger painting, arts and crafts, etc. Well, DS certainly had other ideas! He's the type of kid that eats the paint, paints the dog, then runs naked and screaming around the house, and can not sit still if he tries. So yeah, it's definitely different to what I pictured.
But I've learnt to parent to suit him, and I wouldn't have him any other way. His curiosity and enthusiasm for EVERYTHING is wonderful. He's the bees knees
By CanberraHopeful in forum IVFReplies: 11Last Post: 11-11-2014, 20:15
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