We are femme/femme also. We also get asked the same question but from the start all our conversations we have had from very early on is that I would carry first then her then back to me, I guess we looked at age not that we are old but I am 29 in dec and DP is 26 in Jan! We both want to carry we knew that much. Of course our plan is to take turns but we can't see the future and plans do change so we will take it as it comes...
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15-10-2015 19:48 #91
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15-10-2015 20:05 #92Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2015
TNTH- I'd be the only one out of the two of us to carry. For us it wasn't a matter of who as DP doesn't want to/can't visualise herself carrying and being pregnant/giving birth etc. For me I knew I always wanted to carry. So for us that is how egg sharing came about. We'd love a biological child from each so we used her eggs first as there is quite an age gap between the two of us. But rainbow is right, biology is the least of the mother/child bond.
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15-10-2015 20:31 #93
We are femme/femme too. I naturally fell pregnant at 19 but lost my twins at 16w. Since then I always wanted to be pregnant again/have a baby. So when dp and I decided to start trying, it was a given that I'd go 1st. Dp had never been to a dr or had a bt either so it was good for her to see the process 1st.
We can't egg share in WA without medical need but we used the same donor for both kids.
We were going to keep taking turns having babies but I suffered HG with ds so dp will carry all future babies. Though I hope to give her an embryo from me for the next baby.
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15-10-2015 20:33 #94Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
So interesting hearing other people's stories. I am femme, DP not so much. But definitely not butch. I have wanted to be pregnant for forever, DP has never had the urge. She would do it gladly if for some reason I couldn't/ didn't want to again but she's happy not carrying and not having a biological child. We've talked about me using her eggs a few times but she doesn't feel the need.
I hope it's not something she will regret. Is anyone here the same as DP and not minding whether they have a biological baby?
15-10-2015 20:36 #95
I wouldn't have minded. As long as I got to do pregnancy and give birth I wouldn't have cared where the egg came from. It just worked out the way it did.
15-10-2015 20:49 #96
DP and I are femme/femme and I had initially said that we should just use her eggs but she felt really strongly about having a little "me" running around. At first I questioned it but then I thought about it and figured it's no different to me wanting to have a little version of her running around. Can't be a hypocrite lol.
We would both love to carry so we will take turns if we can. DP never thought she'd be able to have a biological baby or go through IVF/ carry a baby because of her needle phobia but she has worked hard to overcome it enough to get through it to this point. I think she now knows she can take on the world! I am sooo pleased because I know how much this means to her.
Ultimately we will get what we are given and we will be happy and feel blessed for that regardless 😊
16-10-2015 00:31 #97
TNTH I am 10 weeks now so still early stages 😊
We decided that I would carry for a couple of reasons, DP had always wanted kids but had never imagined herself carrying or giving birth where I always had, she's not against doing so in the future if we decide to have a second and for whatever reason I can't, but it wouldn't be her first choice. Also I am 31 and she is 28 so it made timeline sense too.
So many different options and stories! I'm glad we have all found our complementary partners who we can agree on a plan with.
@TandR the second has to be better right?!?
TNTH and @rainbowroad I'm watching your next few weeks excitedly, I really feel like there's going to be a bub at the end of these cycles for you both. x
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16-10-2015 03:37 #98
@Dougy couldn't have said it better myself! There's no right or wrong way of starting or growing these families. It's interesting to hear the differences but yes it's great that everyone has found something that feels right for themselves and their DP! Will be heading off to the hospital shortly so will update how it went afterwards 😊
16-10-2015 07:20 #99
Hoping EPU went well for DP!
16-10-2015 07:26 #100
Still waiting!! I was hoping I would get to see her straight after but apparently that's a no go here 😕 so I'm out in the waiting room and will have to wait until she is out of recovery to find out how she is and how it went. Boo!
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