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09-10-2015 15:34 #61
09-10-2015 15:42 #62
Another daycare issue
SAgirl your DS2 and my DS are the same age, I really think he sounds like a normal 20 month old, they go through phases of being obsessed with certain things, my whole week has just been a completely repetitive process of moving him away from the sink, he drags a chair over, I move it back and so on. Also the cat. The poor cat right now, he will not leave her alone no matter how many times I move him away--straight back!
I was the nanny of a boy for a few years that I thought showed a couple signs of autism but I never said anything to his parents and then one day his childcare said something and they asked me what I thought, I was honest that sometimes I thought he seemed fine and then other times I was like 'whoa that's not right.' They got him assessed and the specialists said no to ASD. About a year later the childcare brought it up again, they genuinely couldn't believe the specialists had said no so his parents went and got him assessed again, by different specialists, again they said no to ASD. The childcare center still couldn't believe he didn't get an ASD diagnosis, but what more could his parents do? I felt so bad for them that the centre wouldn't just drop it. His warnings signs were that he gets fixated on things and is HUGE on routine (but doesn't have a tantrum if you stray from it, just constantly points it out). There were a couple other things that were pretty minor but he's a thriving little boy that does well in school and sport and has friends, he can just be a little 'different' sometimes. Different doesn't always have to be a warning sign, ya know?
Get your DS assessed for peace of mind but I think he's most likely fine and you can put this all behind you. If he does get a diagnosis, like somebody else said he will most likely be very high functioning and your lives won't be impacted by a diagnosis too much. X
Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 09-10-2015 at 15:49.
09-10-2015 15:46 #63
Just saw your update, did the GP give you a referral or do they think it's unnecessary? Good on you for being so proactive!
09-10-2015 19:01 #64
So I got a email from the centre leader at daycare about her 'findings' and reading it put me in a ****ty mood again, I was expecting something more positive from her after our talk yesterday arvo but instead I got more negative stuff about DS and to be honest it really sounds like they just get impatient with him and don't understand him. I can now see why he hates going there
So anyway I'll forward the letter to our psych, probably go and see her next weekend if she can squeeze us in, and take it from there. GP said the psych would be better able to see any major warning signs.
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09-10-2015 19:12 #65Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
I'm not going to comment on if I think your son is on the spectrum , I'm not qualified to do so. I just want to say my perfectly normal ds exhibited a lot of the behavior you have described ie not really having a best friend , being fixated on objects , having multiple meltdowns etc etc.
But as for the centre if your child is unhappy going there I would find a new one. It must be frustrating to keep finding new centres but I think it will be worth it.
12-10-2015 06:06 #66
Hi all, need some more advice please.
So on Friday I received a letter from DS daycare, from the centre leader, about his behaviour, and her 'assessment'. Basically after she said she would 'assess' him, I asked her to just put her findings in an email so I could forward it on to our psych.
So anyway, it's taken me all weekend to come here and vent because I am beyond furious.
I'm annoyed at what she's written and I'm annoyed at the way she's written it, not only does 80% of it sound inaccurate, but it feels even more so, like she is singling out my child and making her own little 'case study' on him.
I've read the letter over and over trying my best to see where she is coming from, and I just cannot and do not agree with most of what she's written. Whatever 'issue' is displayed while he's at daycare, seems to be magnified in her brain.
Look, I get it, it's their job to point out issues and help. I appreciate that, but honestly, this letter is utter bull****. Her letter is patronising and condescending and makes out (in certain paragraphs) that my DS is like severely delayed or like there is something really wrong with him where he walks around in a daze and doesn't know what's going on. I can't even put into words how I feel.
DH and I have observed DS very closely this weekend, NONE of what she has written has been displayed in any way shape or form, I've even let friends read the letter and they also completely disagree (and I know they would be honest).
I am realising more and more why DS hates going to that daycare and today I'll be ringing around other centres to see if they have spots for next year.
Another thing I am starting to wonder, about the centre leader is her motives in all this. She is fairly new to the centre, she started out as an educator and then when the old centre leader left, she got promoted. Since then (about 2/3 months ago) she has made quite a few changes, which I saw immediately (so obviously trying to make an impression in her new role) and I feel like she feels she needs to do more so has decided to use my DS as a little 'project' or something. I don't know. Half the things she has written about him don't even sound like she had the same child.
I was going to give some examples buy reading her letter makes my blood boil! 😡😡😡 and then when I go and try and copy and paste some of it in here, I realise that I may as well just copy the whole darn letter and for privacy reasons I'm reluctant.
Do I write back to her? Do I make a complaint? Do I talk to the psych first and get her opinion? Do I trust my gut?
Argh. Help please
12-10-2015 07:37 #67Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
I wonder whether you could give the letter to the psych and get them to talk directly to the centre leader?
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12-10-2015 07:39 #68
12-10-2015 07:49 #69
I would definitely be getting in touch with your child psych, providing them with a copy of the letter and getting their honest opinion.
Whatever the case, I would be pulling your DS out of the centre and starting fresh somewhere else. You have lost confidence in them, and I don't think this can be repaired.
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12-10-2015 07:58 #70Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
I do think offering an 'assessment' is out of line - she has no qualifications for this.
I would reply to her though. Just thank her for the report, decline her offer of assessment and advise that the information is being forwarded to the psych.
Tbh I don't know if there is much use advising that the GP and others think there is no need for assessment - she just seems to have one thing in mind. So just politely ignore until you can move your DS.
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