I keep chopping & changing between thinking he would never do anything like this to us to absolute broken heart sobbing that I must be a fool for trusting him. I so want to be wrong & give him the benefit of the doubt & I love him so much it hurts. I also think it doesn't fit in with his character, but it's hard when you're faced with concrete evidence in the search history. However, if like a few of you have said that anything can pop up in your search history then maybe he is telling the truth. I asked him again, please just to be honest with me. He said, 'I am, I've done nothing wrong. I never googled it.'
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06-10-2015 08:16 #11
06-10-2015 08:18 #12
He also said he would never do anything to jeopardise what he has with me & our son.
06-10-2015 09:22 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
I would believe him. Your husband sounds like a very patient man. It's highly unlikely that he would leave something suss in his search history when he knows you check it.
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06-10-2015 09:29 #14
If he knows you don't trust him surely he wouldn't be dumb enough to google something like that and not delete his search history.
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06-10-2015 12:47 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2015
Google search history is far from "concrete evidence" as you are calling it.
06-10-2015 13:31 #16
06-10-2015 14:33 #17
I would be inclined to believe your DH. I often read short stories online, just innocent fiction stories. But the page has ads for 's3xy singles near you', etc, and sometimes when I click on the link to read a story I'll get a pop up screen for the darned s3x site!!! So annoying! So if my DH checked my search history it would look like I was going onto hook-up sites! Lucky for me he'd believe me when I told him.
06-10-2015 16:32 #18
Another inclined to believe your DH. I think you have to realize that if you have such strong trust issues they're going to bite you in the butt. You're going to come across things that look a bit suss- you can't live your life like this. I can think of a million things I've done online that might look dodgy if discovered- like the time I did an online quiz (you know, one of those 'which character of this tv show are you?' Type ones, and I didn't realize that by giving them my email I was essentially signing up to a dating site they kept sending me bloody emails till I figured out how to stop them.
Another time, I actually DID look up a brothel's website, because I was like 99% certain the place was a brothel but wanted to check. I probably looked around the page a bit too just out of pure curiosity.
I regularly accidentally sign off texts/emails to male colleagues with xx, and some of them could be construed as flirty, but it's actually just a bad habit of mine to sign off with kisses and every time I do it I cringe at myself!
I think your DH has been wonderfully understanding tbh. He sounds like a gem. Don't let your own mistrust ruin that! Of course there is always the possibility that he really did look up that site with dodgy intentions, but I think the likelihood of that is far smaller than you causing your own problems by being overly suspicious of him. Sorry if that's a bit harsh but from your previous posts it sounds like what you want to hear.
06-10-2015 16:47 #19
Husband's search history shows brothel
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06-10-2015 17:34 #20
Its possible your DH is telling the truth. I'm as clean cut as it comes with internet use - and yet I've had some very dodgy things open in windows behind my current one and I didn't even realise til I went to close everything down and there was a dating site open that I had certainly never clicked on and other similar things. So it can happen. They pop up in the background when you go to some sites - usually through hacking legitimate sites or other such trickery.
I agree as well that regular snooping won't actually make you feel any better. It will just keep you in a state of heightened alertness and distrust. I know its hard to step back though. Definitely speaking with a counsellor/psych can help.
Good luck. What a horrible discovery to make.
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