A big thank you also to everyone - too numerous to mention - for sharing your stories and advice regarding the D&C/Natural MC/Medically Induced MC Debate. I am yet to hear from my Doctors but will report back in once I get some clarification on what they're thinking, and how we should proceed from here.
I am hoping the change of User Name, from Krysta74 to Blossom74, will herald a fresh start for me on this journey. I wonder how long I will have to wait for The Change, lol.
Results 541 to 550 of 942
12-10-2015 10:56 #541
12-10-2015 11:03 #542Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
@Krysta74 (Blossom - love your new-to-be name and its story btw), I hope you get to move on soon. I'd still do the hair appt and catchup with your parents - you need something nice to think about too at this difficult time.
@tuxcat, thanks I'm sorry to hear about your cycle and wish you well for your next adventure going forwards. thanks for all the support and kind wishes and friendly smiles at the clinic. I hope we get to see you pop in here now and then, though I understand if you want to move on.
@Leisylou, I'm sorry things became so dark for you. your reaction to the medication sounds horrible and I'm sorry you had to go through all that without support, especially from the doctors. I'm glad to hear you're feeling a touch better and I hope you'll be well soon. what a shock to your system - the body takes a while to mend, as does the mind. I hope you'll continue to drop in here so we can give you some support, even remotely (& non-medical).
thank you everyone for your well wishes. like yesterday, it does look a smidge darker than yesterday's now that it's dried - I'm not sure that these levels are high enough to go on to be successful but I am still grateful there's a line at all at this stage. I called about the BT so they're going to call me back later today. off to get some food and buy more tests.
Last edited by winsor; 12-10-2015 at 11:04. Reason: typo
12-10-2015 11:17 #543
@winsor thank you hon, and I have everything crossed that this is the start of a beautiful BFP for you. It is encouraging that the line is still there and seems darker, so it's not out of the realm of possibility. Good luck and lots of babydust to you
12-10-2015 11:33 #544
Sorry for hi-jacking the thread today - looks like I'm definitely back!
I would love some feedback from those who have gone the DE path. Just a few weeks ago I received an email from a beautiful woman, offering me her eggs completely out of the blue. She is someone who I have employed a couple of times for various projects and I have huge amounts of respect and admiration for her - she is the most gentle, giving and loving soul, she is just divine.
Anyway, we were at a function together and as we chatted with a group of ladies over lunch we shared some stories of our journeys to have children. A couple of the ladies were childless and had fostered children, others went through IVF, but the common thread were that many of us had been on a very difficult path. My friend is about thirty and shared that she has never felt the urge to have children and doesn't believe she ever will. Her partner has children and she is a step-mum and they have decided that children are not a part of their future together.
I had no idea, but after that talk she went home and discussed with her partner that she would love to donate her eggs to me to help my dream of becoming a mother fulfilled. She shared that she has such admiration for me and because I have been so instrumental in changing other people's lives for the better (part of my work) that she would love to help change mine.
I was completely blown away. She said that I didn't need to answer straight away, just tuck it away and when and if I was ready to talk about it, to let her know.
Wow. Just wow.
So because over the past couple of weeks I've been thinking about whether to revisit the idea of having a child, her amazing offer has been a big part of my thoughts, but I don't really know what to do.
Part of me wants to jump up and down and say yes, when can we start? But other parts of me think that it's just too much to ask of her and I feel so guilty about taking that level of gift from someone. How do I even start that conversation? DH and I have discussed that if we do go to DE then we do want a known donor - and honestly this woman is perfect. Although we have had a working relationship and are colleagues, we are not what you would call close friends, so not in each others lives as such, but cross paths every now and then. She is incredibly mature and gentle and balanced and I could really see this working with her.
It just seems so much to ask of someone. Do I look at this as a miracle? How do I even start figuring out whether this is something to pursue or not? Help!!!!
12-10-2015 12:09 #545
@tuxcat I'm sorry to hear that you are out. I know the feeling, I'm getting closer and closer to it and if this one doesn't work out, I don't think (at this stage) that I would try again. Life can only go on hold for so long. Having said that, a break will definitely do you a world of good.. I hope you find your happiness if you haven't already x @Leisylou - have you ever heard the saying 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth ' ????? Jump on that woman !!!! I would make sure she has had plenty of time to be sure of her decision and obviously you would have to do counselling (compulsory at my old clinic) but if she wants to do something so wonderful for you, let her !! You are also doing something for her - giving her a once in a lifetime opportunity to change someone elses life so drastically, incredibly and wonderfully that she will ride on the coat of euphoria for a long time over it
I'm serious though. At one stage I wanted to do exactly what she is offering. I too, never wanted kids and never would (! shaddup !) and wanted to be an egg donor but was about to turn 36 so over the limit. I was very sad to miss the opportunity. You know how good it feels to do something nice for someone for no personal benefit and no reward. Its very fulfilling. If you are comfortable with donor eggs, let her be your angel. Just my 18 cents worth.
12-10-2015 12:18 #546
Leisylou so sorry to hear how rough you've had it over the past few months, I remember when you got so sick too and I really thought the docs would put you on a more simple protocol.
As for this lady who has offered her eggs, well from your tone it sounds like you are considering it very seriously indeed! Perhaps if you and your DP have already chatted and let it sink in a bit you could book in to see a counselor and chat about it? That really helped me to figure out a lot of doubts/questions.
When my friend offered I told her I'd think about it and then when I was seriously considering it I sat down with her and explained exactly what would happen, all the appointments, blood tests, ultrasounds, injections, having to get her partner to come along to counseling, the risks at egg collection etc There is lots of info on what to talk about/consider on the EDA website if you haven't checked it out already. Medical history, what level of contact (if any) between donor and child etc
12-10-2015 12:26 #547
@tuxcat I'm so sorry about your BFN I know it isn't the same by far but I'm also drawing to an end and taking strength from it. So fed up of the whole IVF 'journey' sucking up money, time and energy, time to move on if the next 2 FETs don't work.
I'm glad you can see a happy way forward even if that may take a bit of time to get there from here. xxx
12-10-2015 12:39 #548Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
Leisylou I'm not sure about how to discuss DE but she does sound like an amazing gift in your life right now. it might be worth exploring at least to see if you both decide it's the right thing to do
my nurse called and said it's too early for my BT so she put me on the list for thursday. I said I'd done some tests and they were +ve but I wasn't sure if it was still the pregnyl and she said, "it could be" and then said see you thursday. arrghh. I have more tests now. I guess if it's real it'll still be going thursday and the line might be darker by then.
12-10-2015 13:23 #549
@winsor, keep testing love, keep testing! If it's a true BFP that line should get darker and darker. I have everything crossed that tomorrow we see two vibrant, pink, no-doubt-about-it-you're-up-the-duff lines
@Leisylou. I reckon have a good think about what it is you really want love. Me, I want a baby to hold in my arms, and genetics wouldn't be a factor in that for me. However, there are many, many women who want a baby whom is genetically theirs (which is completely normal and every woman's right to want) so your position on that is something for you to consider before you move forward.
What you are being offered is an amazingly altruistic gift. People like that don't come along in a person's life very often. To say your friend is an angel would not be overstating things in my book. If this is something you are willing to seriously consider, I'd invite her around and explain all that is involved. Give her some time to think about it (because as we all know, there is a LOT to consider, and it's not as simple as "Here, have my eggs") and then see where it goes.
Personally, if someone stepped up and was willing to do this for me I'd be crying tears of joy. This might be your big opportunity love, the moment you have been waiting for.
12-10-2015 13:46 #550
@Krysta74 absolutely - when I received that email, I did cry, it was so overwhelming. To even have that thought for me is just the most incredible gift in itself. I kind of have this lady up on a bit of a pedestal anyway, so it's hard to think of her wanting to give that level of gift to me, it has blown me away. Having said that, I know that this could be the opportunity of a lifetime and I don't want to dismiss it because I'm not comfortable with accepting help.
For me, I know I've tried so hard to have my own biological child, and I'm slowly coming to terms that it is not likely to happen for me. As I've said to my husband, I can grieve never having my own biological child, at the same time as being excited to have a DE child. They are not mutually exclusive and I can feel both things at the same time. I'm not against DE as such, just that it's a huge thing to ask of someone and I don't ask for help with anything, let alone the type of massive life-changing help that donating eggs is asking for.
The beautiful lady in question is overseas for six months now, so whatever we do will be via email - so maybe we can have a dialogue back and forth for a while and I can send her some sites to read about what is involved in IVF etc. In the meantime I have bitten the bullet and booked in with an FS on the Gold Coast after having a long talk with his receptionist. He sounds lovely, and I'm going for an initial appointment this Friday to talk about my options. They support DE if I go that way.
In any case, I am not keen to do anything right now as I still have quite a bit of work to do to get my health back - but I know in the new year if I want to move, I want to move on something quickly. So I figure if I see this guy now, then I can discuss a plan and put something in place for in a few months if I decide to try one round of IVF with him. And I can also be chatting with my DE angel and see if she is genuinely OK with it all, then we can line things up for as soon as she is back in Aus, once she has time to think about everything that is involved. Such a huge thing though, so I might leave it for a few weeks before I get up the courage to send an email saying that I would like to discuss it further.
For those who've done DE - for the donor it is just like our first two weeks of IVF isn't it? A scan on Day 2, then the stim injections, scan on Day 8 & 12, then an ovulation prevention (if needed), then ovulation trigger, then EPU. Is that it?
Last edited by Summer; 12-10-2015 at 13:51.
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