I think it is high maintenance. I have been both a bride in a non white dress, and a pregnant guest at a wedding. When I was the bride I didn't tell anyone that I wasn't wearing white, and certainly never asked my guests what they were wearing. I didn't care. If one of my friends had rocked up in the same dress as me (it wasn't a wedding dress) I would have made sure we got lots of photos together because it would have made for a great story (although, I think this only works when the bride isn't wearing a traditional gown!)
When I was a pregnant guest I wore tights and a long dressy top that cost me $12 from valley girl with some ballet flats from K-Mart. Did I look dressed for a wedding? Not particularly. In fact, the bride told me I should have just worn something I already had in the cupboard and not spent the $12...they got married on my due date and absolutely did not expect me to spend money on clothes for their wedding, let alone ask me to buy two outfits!
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05-10-2015 20:36 #71Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
05-10-2015 20:44 #72
Vent - high maintenance friends
I can't see how one request about what someone wears to a wedding makes a person "high maintenance". I didn't even wear a wedding dress to my wedding and none of my bridesmaids matched or wore clothes they even ran past me first. We got married very shortly after we decided to do it so I was just glad people were actually able to come.
I can't help but think this is a mountain out of a molehill. I realise the OP is put out but to say doing one thing makes a person high maintenance seems a bit harsh in my opinion.
Last edited by Sonja; 05-10-2015 at 20:47.
05-10-2015 20:54 #73
It is extremely high maintenance! If the bride wanted her guests to not wear a particular colour, she should have requested on the invitation. I also don't get the whole idea that weddings are SO stressful for the bride. I was told that I would need to order my wedding dress a size too small, because most brides drop at least 5 or 10 kg the weeks before the wedding 'because of the stress of the wedding'. Seriously? BTW I lost NO weight lol, so I must have been pretty relaxed! Lucky I ordered a dress in my correct size. I also don't get the whole bridezilla "The wedding is all about me and my day and every single detail must be perfect and revolve around me". My wedding was perfect because I married the love of my life and my best friend, and was able to celebrate with family and friends. I'm sure plenty of things "went wrong", but 10 years later, I can tell you that none of it matters.
05-10-2015 20:56 #74Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
I think we've basically come to some consensus in this thread that there are two schools of thought in this. Those who think it's always unreasonable for people to dictate what others wear; and those who think it's reasonable for a bride to be a little pedantic regarding her wedding and that others (i.e. me) should suck it up.
I don't think we're going to come to any more agreement than that.
Horses for courses and all that..
Thanks for all the replies
05-10-2015 21:02 #75
I'm not casting a vote on whether jt's reasonable or not. As I said my wedding was incredibly low key.
I don't know your friend and I'd rather give her the benefit of the doubt. I just don't think this one thing makes her high maintenance or a bridezilla. I've been to so many weird and wonderful weddings over the years maybe I'm just used to it. Everyone has their foibles and their ways.
You said yourself this is out of character for her and she's stressed. I think it's lovely you did as she asked and bought a different dress. Maybe I'm just old and less bothered these days but I honestly would see a stressed friend rather than someone who is high maintenance.
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05-10-2015 21:12 #76
She sounds thoughtless. I personally would be mindful of putting a friend out of pocket buying a maternity evening dress she would probably not be wearing again. I think if she was less thoughtless, she would have taken the time to come and have a look at the dress before insisting you wear/buy another one, so yeah she sounds thoughtless to me.
If she generally is a good and decent friend, I would roll my eyes internally and accommodate her as much as possible and hope at a later date we could have a giggle about her demands.
05-10-2015 21:55 #77
I don't think she's being unreasonable wanting to keep the color 'hers.' I think she's being unreasonable because she didn't ask on the invite for guests to avoid pink and is then asking somebody to buy a new maternity dress without even looking at the original dress, that's what I find unreasonable. If she had said something in the invite and then saw OP's dress and said it's too pink, I would understand. But she's said nothing and is telling somebody not to wear a PURPLE dress without seeing it in person because it *may* look pink. Ffs! Actually see the dress before requesting somebody go spend more money on your wedding!
06-10-2015 14:21 #78
I must admit, I would lower my gift amount....
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06-10-2015 15:51 #79
The most amusing part of this entire thing (not meaning to be insensitive) is that the dress isn't even pink. And it's not like you're going to show up in your own wedding dress.
I guess I just don't understand how it's a problem (on your friend's side).
06-10-2015 18:40 #80Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
As PP's have said it would be totally ok if she had put something about it on the invite.
Interested to see what her reaction will be when someone else shows up in pink which is bound to happen. Unless you've been told otherwise the only colour to avoid for a wedding is white, and even then I had people wear white to my wedding but they weren't wedding dresses so who cares.
Some brides are just crazy!
Such a shame you've had to purchase another dress, hopefully you'll be able to sell it afterwards and get some of your money back.
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