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  1. #11
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    Both of my kids have been bitten in child care and I didn't see it as a big deal, the centre had filled in an incidence report and I felt it was the risk of spending time with other toddlers. My DD was also the biter in one incidence which felt so much worse, especially when we ended up at a dinner party of the parents of the affected child and the issue was raised. They didn't know who had bitten their child, but it was obvious from their story it was our DD and all we could do was apologise and feel so very very guilty...

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    Is it normal for them not to tell you who the biter was?
    Definitely normal, they aren't allowed to tell you.

    My DS bit his BFF at their daycare centre once. They told me he bit someone and when we got in the car he told me who it was. I was actually relieved because our families are so close they are pretty much like siblings, and I called my friend to let her know that when she picked up her daughter she would have to sign an incident report. When she got there they got the form and she said something about how it was my DS and they freaked out thinking that one of the staff had accidentally let it slip. They were so relieved when she said that I had told her, they said they can get in big trouble for naming names!

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    There was an incident report and I did sign that.

    Is it normal for them not to tell you who the biter was?
    It's a confidentiality thing. They're not allowed to discuss the behaviour of other children with anyone but their parents / guardians - even if that child is using yours as a chew toy.

    If you have a serial biter on your hands you're likely to find out eventually (from other parents or children, not the carers) but for an isolated incident I wouldn't be too concerned.

  4. #14
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    Thanks everyone, I asked my ds who bit him and he told me anyway, so I do know who it is. I just like to keep an eye out and know who to avoid. My ds is struggling with a lot of issues lately and we are seeing a psych and it's the last thing he needs.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    Thanks everyone, I asked my ds who bit him and he told me anyway, so I do know who it is. I just like to keep an eye out and know who to avoid. My ds is struggling with a lot of issues lately and we are seeing a psych and it's the last thing he needs.
    I have not had this issue but after reading this I thought this may be helpful.

    I would speak to his carers about it - you don't have to go through all the issues but just let them know he is going through a rough time and this has affected him. Maybe they can make sure the child responsible is kept apart from him or even talk about it with him if needed.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    Thanks everyone, I asked my ds who bit him and he told me anyway, so I do know who it is. I just like to keep an eye out and know who to avoid. My ds is struggling with a lot of issues lately and we are seeing a psych and it's the last thing he needs.
    If it's just an isolated incident, there is no need to avoid them.

    Imagine if it were your child, who was very frustrated at daycare one day for whatever reason, and lashed out and hit another child who was near him, and then the parent of that child told him to "stay away from that SAgirl's son". That would be OTT and not very nice, would it?

  7. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to CMF For This Useful Post:

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  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    If it's just an isolated incident, there is no need to avoid them.

    Imagine if it were your child, who was very frustrated at daycare one day for whatever reason, and lashed out and hit another child who was near him, and then the parent of that child told him to "stay away from that SAgirl's son". That would be OTT and not very nice, would it?
    I agree. My son (nearly 5) bit his very good friend at daycare a couple of months ago. He's never, ever done anything like that before. But apparently the other boys were being mean to him that day and leaving him out, he lost it and bit his friend. The next day they were playing together again and nothing has happened since. I spoke to my son about it. He knows it's wrong. It was just a mistake. Would be a shame if his friend's parents told their son to stay away from mine

  9. #18
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    Also, if it had been the other way around, I would have been concerned of course about my son's safety, but know the staff would keep a close eye on them after that and would give me updates about if there was anything to be worried about.
    Also, I would tell my son to speak to his teacher if anything else happened so that they could help him.

  10. #19
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    My son has been bitten a few times at his DC

    Once on the top of his arm by his little bestie, I signed the report and his mum signed one then text me in a panic and feeling horrible about it. We laugh about it now, because DS bit his little bestie the other week, i felt terrible but friend just said nah it's kharma because C bit your C
    One of the other times DS told me who had bitten him, it was a little girl and she had bitten him on his back, DS is skinny and he had a bruise for days

    Our Daycare are excellant at getting you to fill in incident forms, and telling you about it, and they encourage the kids to come and tell them when something happens.

    DS still has a scar on his upper arm from when his friend bit him.

  11. #20
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    In all honesty a one-off bite, or even 2 close together would just make me think a child was having a bad day. 2/3 of my kids have been the biter in the past and I fully expect DS3 will do the same. My friends and I understand that these things happen and it just means at times we have to be extra vigilant.

    On the other hand having 5 incident forms in 3 days plus a incident of a face scratch that wasn't written up becUse I was there made me pull my eldest out of a centre. He was only 8m at the time and 5 years down the track still has the scars.


 

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