Egg Donation in South Africa #11

[ECM1981]

@Outoftime it is a bit strange isnt it?! I felt like i was signing a new car contract the very first time we did ivf. Its probably a good idea that you are sending your photo etc to the agency to help you. They may know a girl who isnt one the database but ready to donate again. I picked a girl who looked very much like what my sister looked like when she was smaller. Then once i got the details of her i found out we share the same birthday! Weird coincidence! When we picked our donor there where quite a few that met our criteria but when looking last month there were not as many girls on there. Im sure they go through peaks and troughs with the donors.

[wazbub]

@Gen72, welcome to the forum. Half way through my 5th OE IVF cycle, when it looked like it was turning south, I came to painful conclusion that it wouldn't happen with my eggs. I just knew in my heart that it was over. When the cycle failed and we went back to our FS he suggested trying a low stim cycle to see if we could get just 1 good quality egg. We just couldn't justify throwing anymore money at it with such low odds. We asked him what our other options were and he suggested O/S egg donation at 3 clinics he trusted 1) CFC South Africa 2) Spain 3) USA. He said that the local donor egg program success rates weren't that impressive.
We then went and did alot of research. Spain you can't choose the donor, the US was too expensive and locally i didn't like the thought of the potential long wait to be chosen by a donor, who would most likely be over 30 and potentially look nothing like me.
We chose CFC because of the testimonials on here from previous ppl who had been through the process with no trouble, the fact that they are young donors and you can see their childhood photos and know a little bit about them as adults.
We're very happy with the decision we've made. I do anticipate questions and moments of trial with our kids when they are older about why we went anonymous and the impact on their ability to understand their heritage but we plan to be open from the start and will hopefully work together as a family to overcome any challenges.

[ECM1981]

@Gen72 hi and welcome we decided to use DE after we were gettinf such crappy outcomes with my own eggs. I felt at first like we were jumping in too quick but we dont want to waste any more time and money on unsuccessful cycles. We just want to become parents! My sister couldnt donate for us because she is a Cystic Fibrosis carrier like my hubby and i. We checked chose overseas donor because i like the anonymity of it. Im not sure if this will backfire in the future but like wazbub we plan to be open and honest with our future children so they know how much they were wanted and how much they are loved. We have thought about trying other countries if we dont have success with south africa (Cape Fertilty- very good clinic) but being from perth Cape town is much more accessible for treatment. We can do a FET in 3-4 days quite easily if we need to where as if we went to europe its just that bit further so would require more time off work. Good luck wi th your journey! X

[ferngirl]

Welcome gen72, a good luck on your journey.
Answers ...
Like above 5 long ****ty traumatic cycles with plenty of eggs but no result. We thought IVF was our only option as we had no friends or family at the right stage to ask for de, and assumed adoption was out due to our age (40) but after a tearful meeting with our fs nurse she mention CFC, and de option. It was like a shining light of hope and within a month we did our research here and had booked ! In fact plans were in place in the middle of our fifth cycle which we had already committed too.
De in Australia wasn't a viable option, due to waiting lists( there are no donors!) costs, success rates due to much older donors, lack of anonymity.
Both my regular doctor and Fs nurse mentioned Cape Town so we read this forum and never really pursued anything else, in hindsight a good choice !
I must admit to not thinking I'll be quite so open and upfront about my child being from a donor as I'm not sure the advantage, unless something comes up. No different to one night stands, separated people with no contact, and many others that don't know there genetic history for whatever reason. I do know the arguments, and I think this is my opinion but my not sure it will stay this way as far as I'm concerned we will be mum and dad in every sense.
We never pursued immunity stuff as we had plenty of positives just nothing lasted suggesting to me anyway that it was really a egg quality issue only so far so good. Again best wishes on your journey

[Lolly99]

November cycle girls, would anyone like to give your CT arrival and departure dates? We might be able to meet up for dinner. You can PM me if you prefer. DH and I are always up for some socialising in the beautiful Cape Town, and it's nice to put faces to forum alias'!

I am contemplating grabbing some aspirin, I am not taking it currently. Opinions/thoughts girls? I am taking Q10, Vit E, Elevit and Fish Oil, though none of them in huge doses, just as per the instructions on the back of the pack. You read so much but I don't know if taking all this is being detrimental to our cause ... Opinions would be appreciated!

Still waiting for the Depot Inj to turn up; I think I'm supposed to use it Sunday (I will have to look at the dates email CFC sent me). No use stressing; it won't change the time and date it does turn up, and I know it still works up until Day 3 anyway.
\

From now on I'm going to try to give us all as much good luck as possible by always signing off with baby dust. Superstitious? Nooooo ..... Not me (wink!).

Hi Jennski,
Would love to meet up we are in CT from 15 Nov-4 Dec. What about you? Have you been given your plan yet ? I must say you're coping well! I was having a freak out as we only got ours last week. More freaking out about what work was going to say! Anyways we got good flights from Sydney, about 4.5 thousand all up and had tentatively booked accommodation ( they said they would hold for us and let us know if they had inquiries) I'm sure it will work out for you, and seeing as you've been before its not such a big surprise! thanks for baby dust I will give you some too!!

Lolly x

[Cathy69]

Gen72

I am another Cate Town CFC fan. I had done 9 various cycles in Aus with my OE and given up simply because I clearly wasn't working and my FS said 'DE' but I couldn't get my head around the idea - in fact I told a number of people 'that DE were not for me'. I had no family/friend options for Aus DE and the idea of advertising for a stranger was just too much for me. I was pursuing fostering/adoption in Aus (there is no such thing as old fashioned baby adoption in Aus anymore and as a single girl, there were no international options available to me).

Out of the blue I heard from an old friend who told at me that 48 she was preg after a trip to Cape Town and from DE. We had lots of conversations about the practicalities and to have the situation go from theoretical to real triggered something in me. It took me about 4 weeks of lots of thinking and a couple of counselling sessions to make the decision to 'have a go'. I started off just by checking out Donor profiles then realised when I found a couple I liked that I was ready to commit and contacted CFC & the same Dr my friend used. I was in Cape Town just under 4 months from first speaking to my friend.

The first fresh cycle resulted in a twin pregnancy which ended just before 9 weeks, single FET after that was a BFN. I waited 6 months, got sorted with an immune protocol with a Dr in Sydney (I have arthritis and always believed it played a part in my lack of success prior) and went back to CFC. As of yesterday I am 24w preg with twins (again !) and well on my way to achieving my dream of 'a family'.

In hindsight, even when my FS was saying I could have another go at OE cycles, I realise now that my chances were tiny and that I should have bailed from OE IVF 2 cycles earlier. I should have saved that money and heartache, got 'prepared' as best I could for DE and jumped in. I am a firm believer that the higher cost of DE overseas because of no Medicare rebate and the overseas travel was a much better investment than continuing to try in Aus. I travelled on my own, didn't scrimp and spent 15 days for the full cycle in CT and in total it cost just under $15,000 with the cost spread over 2-3 months. I had 3 lovely holidays in Cape Town and couldn't possibly put a price on the big lump of a belly I am typing over right now.

Good luck and I highly doubt you will doubt any decision that is favourable to CFC and CT and the whole South African option.

[Tahli]

@Cathy69 Congrats on your 'big lump of a belly'! Love it!! Can I ask you what you took as part of your immune protocol?

[Cathy69]

Tahli - thanks

The Immune Protocol ......
1000mg Vit E (to thicken lining)
1000mg Fish Oil (to reduce inflammation generally)
1 x Caltrate Plus (to offset steroid impact)
40mg clexane (to reduce blood coagulation) from 5 days prior to transfer
25mg Dexmethasone (then swapped to Prednisolone/Prednisone at 8.5w preg)
50mcg Oroxine (for elevated thyroid antibodies) from day prior to transfer
Intralipids 2 weeks prior to transfer then at 7w preg, then every 5 weeks after. Have just had one at 23w which I expect is the last but need to have some comparative blood tests before that decision is made.

Then the usual progesterone (to 19w), Progynova (to 16.5 w) & Syneral spray pre transfer.

[ECM1981]

Hi Jennski,
Would love to meet up we are in CT from 15 Nov-4 Dec. What about you? Have you been given your plan yet ? I must say you're coping well! I was having a freak out as we only got ours last week. More freaking out about what work was going to say! Anyways we got good flights from Sydney, about 4.5 thousand all up and had tentatively booked accommodation ( they said they would hold for us and let us know if they had inquiries) I'm sure it will work out for you, and seeing as you've been before its not such a big surprise! thanks for baby dust I will give you some too!!

Lolly x

Lolly i will be in CT from the 14th until the 21st. I would love to meet for a coffee/lunch/dinner if you are keen? Im staying around V and A area. Pm me if you like

[Jennski]

Lolly i will be in CT from the 14th until the 21st. I would love to meet for a coffee/lunch/dinner if you are keen? Im staying around V and A area. Pm me if you like

Lolly and ECM, it looks like we will all be in CT on 15th. I will PM you both. Tahli, it's a pity we can't meet up but you will be finishing your 2ww by the time we are just starting!