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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012

    Default Hubby worried about ttc and 1st year...

    We are very happy parents to a 20 month old. I have been fairly opposed to having another considering my anxiety and coping issues during pregnancy and for around the first year. I love life with my lil man now and the tricky moments are simply moments now...not possible end if world issues they seemed to be earlier.

    I now can see a 2nd Bub would be great for ds1 and would like a second myself. Hubby has always been keen on 2 but tells me now he's scared I can't cope...

    I definitely know where he's coming from but ur feels so degrading to whatever level of "motherness" I have.

    Has anyone experienced high level Anxiety with one And not another?

    How much harder is 2 than 1? (I was hoping for 2nd when 1st starts kinder to free me up a bit?)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Pregnancy triggered depression in two of my pregnancies but not in the other two. Very odd as most other symptoms (nausea, fatigue etc) were the same. My OB had pre-prescribed an anti-depressant if it struck in the next pregnancy. Perhaps look into medication for anxiety? Though you will probably need to see an OB who is familiar with these medications, as most GPs just look at the classification letter and say no without understanding the actual risks.

    We intentionally waited til our first was almost 3.5 as pregnancy and the first 3 months with her were really hard. We ended up with a bigger gap than planned due to two miscarriages and I coped with DS's pregnancy a lot better and he was a much easier newborn.

    I think if my first pregnancy/newborn experience had been like DS we would have been back for a second much sooner. We're still undecided on a third as we just have no idea how I will cope based on past experience!

    ETA: to answer your other question. I haven't found it a big adjustment from 1-2. Sometimes I feel like I need 2 of me but on the whole my 7yo has always been the more demanding of the 2 and still is more work than her little brother.
    Last edited by Stretched; 19-09-2015 at 07:48.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Hey. I have anxiety. Always have. Mine gets worse during pregnancy (after speaking to my midwife she said the pregnancy hormones can make anxiety and depression worse. Especially the 1st and 2nd trimester. I am pregnant with my 2nd atm. Still in 1st tri. My anxiety has gotten worse. So much so my meds have been increased. My suggestion (not sure if you will go public/private) is to see a psychiatrist specialising in pre/peri/post natal. Seeing them regularly will ensure if you are on meds they are adjusted as needed. Again not sure if you are in meds. But it is possible if you want to have a 2nd to help make the pregnancy and post pregnancy a little easier on you.


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