Leave your judgement and advice at the door unless asked for. Also try to remember that helping and taking over are very different things and even the best intentions can be misinterpreted at such an emotional time so I personally think it's best to ask what the new mum would like help with rather than just do it.
As a new mum I got a bit upset in the beginning that I wasn't left to figure out how I was going to be a mum to this new wriggly soft baby that apparently belonged to us now. Everyone told me exactly what I should be doing for everything but it was nice to have the moments where it was ME parenting.. If that makes sense? It's hard to be forceful and stand up for that kind of thing when it's the first go around I guess.
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18-09-2015 09:24 #61Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
18-09-2015 12:25 #62
I would like my MIL to back off this time and not expect that she can visit and hijack my baby every second day. I'd like her to actually listen to me when i tell her to cover up her cigarette stinking clothes. I'd like her not to breathe right in his face with her alcohol and cigarette stinking breath. I'd like her not to kiss him anywhere on his face for the above reasons plus she gets cold sores - they are extremely dangerous for newborns. I'd like her to listen to me when i say these things and not act like I'm invisible like she did when ds1 was born. Seriously, it was like I'd fulfilled my purpose, given her a grandchild. I was not needed anymore.
I'd like to be taken seriously when ask her to leave so i can feed my baby, not be expected to breastfeed right there and then in front of her and FIL. I'd like to be respected.
Sorry for the rant 😯
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