I offended a few family members by refusing to let them visit in the first 3 days. One didn't speak to me for 6 months. 😂 I'm still annoyed that one person insisted they come over and wouldn't take no for an answer. Next time I won't tell them about the birth until I'm ready. 😉
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17-09-2015 15:48 #41
17-09-2015 16:15 #42
-Ask before visiting.
-Check if I need milk or bread.
-Offerings of chocolate are always acceptable.
-Play a game with or talk to DD.
-Visit if you are sick.
-Try to do things (cook/clean) in my house. It will stress me out & I have a husband who can do these things. No exceptions.
-Expect to stay for meals - unless explicitly invited to.
-Wear heavy perfume (just a bug bear of mine, cannot stand it transferring onto my furniture or baby).
-Expect unlimited cuddles with bub (if I want bubs back, hand him/her over).
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17-09-2015 16:37 #43Senior Member
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- May 2014
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17-09-2015 16:44 #44
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17-09-2015 17:00 #45
I would've loved family & close friends to ask when a good time was to come over for a visit. We had so many people randomly turn up & knocking loudly on the front door at times we were trying to sleep, it drove me crazy! I think with my parents in particular they forgot what it's like having a small baby. Please just ask us when a good time to visit is!
Also short visits as we wanted to grab a quick sleep when baby did & a lot of people don't take hints very well.
I'll always check with someone when a good day/time is & if it's ahead of time I'll shoot them a text first to make sure it's still ok in case they've had a really rough night & not up to visitors.
17-09-2015 17:22 #46
17-09-2015 17:41 #47Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
What would I like them to offer?
Just ask 'what can I do for you?'
Message and say 'I'm in the area are you up for a visit at about 2ish (random time selected for example)?'
Im doing my shopping, can I grab you something and drop it on my way home?
When visiting - offer to take my older kids outside/for a walk/read a book/any form of attention.
Tell me you're making a cuppa and ask if I want one.
Most importantly - respect my boundaries and listen to my needs. If I say not to do my washing/fold my washing LISTEN! Ask if there is something else you can do instead. If I ask you to do something (like look after my baby while I move house) then either do that or nothing. I've told you what I want, I don't need you saying 'oh how about I come help you move and look after him'. No, that won't be helpful. I may as well look after him myself because I'll still have to stop and feed - while you put **** where it doesn't belong.
And that's my rant for the day. It was only 5 years ago - I still haven't got over it.
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17-09-2015 18:43 #48Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
I was thinking more of when family visits. We live in a different state to both our families, so when they visit they stay a few days. And I've been underwhelmed when both sets of parents have turned up and not done much, but actually added to my workload. They're the ones I'd think could help with some gardening!
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17-09-2015 18:52 #49
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17-09-2015 18:57 #50
I liked that my various groups of friends organized to come in groups to see us. 30 minutes, 3-6 people each time, about 4 or 5 groups over 2 weeks. That was great- it got everyone done and dusted quickly!
I think the key is- ask. Via text message. Don't call- you'll put mum on the spot and most likely wake the baby. Text, and say 'can I come and what can I bring/do? Answer whenever you're ready, there's no rush'
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