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  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    The OP was "having a stab" at people who don't hover IMO.
    I actually don't think she was. I initially read her comment that way but when I saw the play equipment and the ages of the kids she was referring to yep damn straight I'd be hanging around. Everyone seems to have focussed on kids who are 2+ age but she was referring to kids well under that age.

    I thought the op was actually quite respectful. I kind of vagued out after that .....

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  3. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I agree that there re the p1ssing contest but there also seemed to be a bit of "How irresponsible!", "Who would do this?" and " I love my child too much to miss a minute!" (I'm clearly paraphrasing ) but I just don't think it's about being free range in terms of the "I'm a better parent award". There's all sorts of mumupmanship going on in this thread!
    I dunno. Maybe it's bc this is my 3rd child and I'm well beyond competing. I'm comfortable with how I do things. I just don't care what others do. If I see a mum at the park on the phone while her 2/3 year old plays, it doesn't even register. I usually find those mums quickly look up if they are needed. I tend to hover at that age. Maybe bc I'm shocking when my kids get hurt, I can't handle it. DH has taken DS2 to all his vaxes bc I can't handle him crying lol So why do others care if I hover? What does it matter?

    Just my perception, but those 'wouldn't miss a minute' comments seemed to be directly linked to people questioning their hovering. Like they felt like they had to explain to strangers why they hover and are stripping their children of their self confidence and happiness. I think this is most certainly a Free Range=Best Mother vibe here.

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  5. #153
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    I don't really see it as competing though. I think it's quite healthy to debate these things and understand other people's perspectives. Like I said I haven't read all the posts so maybe some have crossed a line.

    With 4 kids under my belt I don't give a second thought to other people's views on my parenting but I am always interested in seeing how other people do things.

  6. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I dunno. Maybe it's bc this is my 3rd child and I'm well beyond competing. I'm comfortable with how I do things. I just don't care what others do. If I see a mum at the park on the phone while her 2/3 year old plays, it doesn't even register. I usually find those mums quickly look up if they are needed. I tend to hover at that age. Maybe bc I'm shocking when my kids get hurt, I can't handle it. DH has taken DS2 to all his vaxes bc I can't handle him crying lol So why do others care if I hover? What does it matter?

    Just my perception, but those 'wouldn't miss a minute' comments seemed to be directly linked to people questioning their hovering. Like they felt like they had to explain to strangers why they hover and are stripping their children of their self confidence and happiness. I think this is most certainly a Free Range=Best Mother vibe here.
    I have three kids too and I just think everyone is different.
    I get no vibe from the thread and I don't really care tbh but I guess perception is everything?
    I've been called a helicopter parent and I've been told off for not watching closely enough. So best of both worlds I guess!

  7. #155
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    Default Supervision at the park

    Edit...Not sure why it quoted del and not sonja.

    I disagree. She said they were too busy in conversation to supervise and that she doubted they knew where their kids were. She asked if she was being responsible by hanging around which meant her child would not fall. I could be looking too much into it but I take that as meaning you're irresponsible if you're not there waiting to catch your child.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 12-09-2015 at 20:48.

  8. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    The OP was "having a stab" at people who don't hover IMO.
    I honestly didn't think she was. She asked if it was the norm and if she was a Helicopter parent. I just see a first time mum, unsure of herself and what is 'normal'. She probably did have a judgment, but I suspect that more stems from her lack of experience as a parent. You and I are more the 'meh what ever works' parents bc we are confident in what works. Been there done that.

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  10. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I don't really see it as competing though. I think it's quite healthy to debate these things and understand other people's perspectives. Like I said I haven't read all the posts so maybe some have crossed a line.

    With 4 kids under my belt I don't give a second thought to other people's views on my parenting but I am always interested in seeing how other people do things.
    I didn't see the competition. I read through it twice. It is a little.. heated towards the end but otherwise I thought it was ok?

    As I said - I'm a hoverer. My kiddo is 2.5 and demands I be there every second he is in the park (or anywhere). I have tried to sit and drink my coffee but more often than not I am at the top of the slide marveling at his 'sliding down backwards' skills (i.e. responding to 'look at me mummy' comments).

    I think we are so used to criticism (whether its from an external source or from ourselves) we may read something or interpret something that isn't there. Tbh, I consider it plain old parenting - our kids are different so the parenting of 2 people or 2 of our own kids is never the same. We all want the best for our kids. And we are THE BEST mothers for our kids.

    Maybe this doesn't make sense. I'm in bed trying to ignore the all day MS so my brain is a bit muddled. Sorry.

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  12. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Not sure why it quoted del and not sonja. I disagree. She said they were too busy in conversation to supervise and that she doubted they knew where their kids were. She asked if she was being responsible by hanging around which meant her child would not fall. I could be looking too much into it but I take that as meaning you're irresponsible if you're not there waiting to catch your child.
    Like I said, I think there was some level of judgment there, but I was like that with DD. I was quite helicopterish with her. It took so long to get her I guess I was so scared she'd get hurt, kidnapped. I remember going swimming with other mum when our kids were babies and I would describe has as very free-range. And I thought OMG her child is going to drown. Get hurt. Get stolen. But that was more my lack of experience as a Mum.

    I'm probably not making much sense. Look, I don't judge free range mums at all. I believe, like Kitty said, every child is different, every household runs in differing ways. Like Kitty I've been criticised for being too much Apron Strings, and too easy going as well bc I let DD watch adult movies. I now let her walk around the neighbourhood. (That has been hard let me tell you ).

    Gah that's all over the place lol I think you can decipher all that

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  14. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    What? What do you mean have you done something to upset me?

    I'm just trying to find out what your point is. That's it.

    Doesn't take a genius to know that negligent parenting is detrimental to a child? It just infers that if you're not helicopter then you're negligent. Otherwise I just wasn't sure what the point of bringing up studies was? Or do you not believe there is an in between. It's all or nothing?
    Read my response to FL

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    You can't win in these discussions. Some people are more relaxed in certain situations than others. As I said in my earlier post, it's really up to the parent to decide based on their child and their first-hand assessment of the situation.

    If you say you like to let your kids run free because you believe it teaches independence and resilience you're told off for being smug. If you say you prefer to stick close to your child you're told you're an inexperienced mother and stifling your child. Can't win.

    If someone posts something about what they saw at the park, they are clearly having a reaction to what they saw and making some sort of judgement about it. So if you put it out there, you'll get varying opinions. Then people get over-sensitive about opposing viewpoints and take it personally. Can't win!

    While everyone should try to be respectful in their posts, others should be reasonable in their reactions. It's only a p!ssing contest if you participate in it.

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