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12-09-2015 20:51 #141
12-09-2015 20:53 #142-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
12-09-2015 21:00 #143
I'm just trying to find out what your point is. That's it.
Doesn't take a genius to know that negligent parenting is detrimental to a child? It just infers that if you're not helicopter then you're negligent. Otherwise I just wasn't sure what the point of bringing up studies was? Or do you not believe there is an in between. It's all or nothing?
12-09-2015 21:00 #144
I'm a seriously anxious person - but I'm strangely laid back about my children. Perhaps because I worked with kids before having my own, I know what they're capable of and I know that accidents happen so (within reason) there's no point in hovering around while they explore. I think it's good that they experience things for themselves and figure it out on their own. Sailing headfirst down the slide and getting a mouthful of dirt is precisely how you you figure out that that might not be such a good idea next time. (Or the next three times before it really sinks in, you know?)
Sure, sometimes I want to set up a huge safety net below those ridiculously high play structures but I don't want to pass on my anxiety to my boys. I have issues with heights, but they don't have to. I want them to be confident. And they certainly are! I'm constantly amazed by what DS1 can do, how he navigates the world and how he seems to know exactly what his limits are (most of the time).
I'm (usually) always there and I watch 99.9% of the time, but I don't hover and I try not to interfere too much. Free range parenting all the way, dude!
12-09-2015 21:02 #145
The thing is... What you think is negligent for you or your children is not the same for others and their family.
12-09-2015 21:06 #146
It's always worked out objectively.
As you were but this strain of the debate is driving me a little insane.
12-09-2015 21:20 #147
As soon as I read the OP I knew how this thread would play out. Pages of passive aggressive stabs at 'helicopter' parents (I really hate that term). That their kids will be fearful, lack resilience, that the parents have anxiety issues and no life. That they won't allow their kids to experience life. One poster has 'issues' bc she calls the DC. But one poster mentioned the word irresponsible once after repeatedly having her parenting questioned so all the PA stuff is deserved.
Me - I consider myself half way. I do tend to hover at playgrounds with small children but I let out the apron strings more and more as they get older. Not surprisingly my kids are resilient, happy kids. Resilience is built from far more than reading a book at a park while your child plays. I could give 2 hoots what other parents do. Each to their own, you know your own child. And I know mine.
12-09-2015 21:26 #148
12-09-2015 21:29 #149Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
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12-09-2015 21:31 #150
I hover. I haven't read the replies so I'm not sure on the general consensus but for me my DD is just turned 2. She is very cautious, very anxious and won't play unless I'm right there (usually on the equipment with her). I do wish she was happy to be a bit more independent and when she's happy to wander a bit I try to stay a bit further back. She also has pretty rubbish gross motor skills lol she's very clumsy and she can't climb yet (apparently that makes me lucky according to MCHN but considering she WANTS to and can't I don't feel lucky!) so she will ask for lots of help and isn't confident enough to attempt it on her own. I don't cottonwool her, if she falls there is no fuss etc.
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