My husband and I got married in March. We've been together for 8 years and one of the things that always linked us so strongly was our love of family and desire to be parents. After 6 months of seeing each other he told me that due to the chemotherapy he had received during both of his bouts of cancer as a teenager, he is now infertile. It didn't phase me in the least, he told me he had samples stored and I was always a firm believer in adoption anyway to help complete our dreams of a large family.
We've been married for 6 months, and we've found out that due to his father feeling "awkward" about taking him to the appointments to collect the samples when DH was 15- and therefore refusing to do so- we have only 5 ampoules saved of his samples, they need 2 ampoules per ivf cycle and they have told us not to get our hopes up that we will be successful. We went through the process of applying to adopt but we are ineligible for any intercountry adoption of a child under 12 months and my husband doesn't want us to adopt over that age.
Since finding out, my husband has been out all of the time trying to process this on his own, because that is how he copes. I tried to talk to my Mum about it, but as soon as I started she stopped me and said "you need to change your language around this, I can't talk to you if you're going to be negative" and that was that. My best friend is 7 months pregnant and has her hands full with a 19 month old- she simply does not have any time to see me, let alone talk to me about this.
I have always been so positive on this, but I am so scared now that we won't be able to have children at all and there is nobody close to me that I can talk to about it, I am feeling so alone, and so overwhelmed. I thought I might try a forum, just in case there's somebody out there who understands, in case i'm not alone. I feel like i'm grieving but I need to keep going to work, keep getting up every day, keep talking to people about random inconsequential things...
I hope to hear from somebody.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5
11-09-2015 15:58 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2015
I am so overwhelmed
11-09-2015 16:03 #2
Welcome to the hub. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles to have a family of your own. While I can't personally contribute to any experiences, I'm sure there is someone out there who can offer you some hope, advice and guidance. Best of luck in your quest to create a family, whichever way that may be! xx
11-09-2015 16:11 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
This is a lot to digest and can understand it is overwhelming.
We have had various battles with my infertility and it gut wrenching.
My advice is to find the best possible specialist and ask about PICSI, where they choose the best sperm and inject straight into egg. We did this and so did friends whose husbands had issues.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're not alone. The topic may be super sensitive with DH right now but there may be option of donor down the track if you're both comfortable with it so your hopes of a family don't even nearly need to be compromised. Big hugs to you xxx
11-09-2015 18:28 #4
have you thought about finding some donor sperm instead of adoption? Donor sperm is a lot easier to arrange than adoption, and it still is then your eggs, and you get to experience pregnancy and birth etc ...
It is a hard one though - these things are never easy to deal with
11-09-2015 18:45 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
My partner has no sperm at all! We are a same sex couple and I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant from our first IVF cycle. It must be a big blow for you both but don't give up hope on having a baby, there are always ways!
The Following User Says Thank You to A&S For This Useful Post:
By Jarylee in forum General ChatReplies: 1Last Post: 12-08-2015, 22:46
By Luanajo in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 20Last Post: 19-07-2015, 16:54
By BettyV in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 8Last Post: 13-07-2015, 09:56
Tags for this Thread
Heinz Baby BasicsOur BPA Free range offers you a choice for every stage of your baby’s feeding development. You’ll love our ...
LATESTWhy it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at home
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Inheritance WWYDGeneral Chat
Loan for a businessFamily Finances
Egg Donation in Greece #5Egg Donation
Lunch box ideas that doesn't include sandwichRecipes & Lunchbox Ideas
What is your weekly budget?Family Finances
ongoing chat threadGeneral Chat
Albert?Choosing Baby Names
Did you drink any alcohol during pregnancy?Pregnancy Health Issues
Experiences with antidepressants during pregnancy and breastfeeding?Prenatal depression