I think it's a nice email too, but again I don't know you're history. When is your baby due? It's hard to get out and about with a baby. Then you would be feeding all day and it's much easier to do it at home where you're set up. In a few years you may very well want you're children to stay home for Christmas.
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06-09-2015 07:09 #31
06-09-2015 07:12 #32
I don't know any of the back story, but I'm assuming there must have been something happen preceding this if it has come across as hurtful. I think the email was really respectfully written and would personally love it if the IL's sent something like this to us. But I can understand that if there is a back story to this, it may actually be a hurtful thing.
The only way for it to be resolved I think is for your DH to give his parents a call and talk about it. Tell them that you love the tradition of going to their house and you want that to be part of your children's xmas.
I hope it all gets sorted out for you x
06-09-2015 07:26 #33
I feel like they could possibly be miffed about something and instead of addressing it head on, they've decided to make it look like they're doing you all a favour.
I could be wrong, but the fact that this has seemingly come out of nowhere makes me question their intent.
Perhaps they want their adult kids to respond by saying that they do like spending Xmas with them and that they want it to continue? Either that or they are hoping someone else will offer to host Xmas.
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06-09-2015 07:36 #34
That email would upset me greatly too. Especially the bit where they just want to lunch in early December. I'd see that as an affront to family/family events.
I'd also offer to host and have them over plus your siblings etc.
For me the most important tradition at Christmas is FAMILY.
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Little Miss Sunshine (06-09-2015)
06-09-2015 08:12 #35
I'm another that wouldn't be offended, in fact would be rejoicing getting that email. We have 3 kids now, and we just want one Xmas at home on our own. If it's not one side, it's the other we spend it with. We just want to stay in our PJ's, lounge around and enjoy the day BY OURSELVES. And that includes us hosting.
It really depends on the history of your family. If there have been any fights brewing, if your parents are the passive aggressive type normally. Taking it at face value I want to hug your parents lol Finally people that get that their adult children may want a year on their own not having to drag tired, sugar filled littlies all around the country side. But again, there maybe some history there that shows their intentions are selfish.
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06-09-2015 08:55 #36
It sounds to me like they are looking for reassurance. They want you and your DH to say of course we still want to do Christmas with you. Give them a bit of love, see if that helps.
I wouldn't get offended until you tell them you want to continue the current Christmas arrangement. If they still insist not having it, then tell them you're upset they want this arrangement and just do as they ask and start your own tradition. It's their loss!
06-09-2015 09:09 #37
Actually I just thought, did maybe SIL say she wanted to start her own traditions with her family and told your in laws she didn't want to do the usual Christmas thing.
Then your MIL took offence to SIL, assumed that you and your DH felt the same way, so she's gotten in first so to speak to cancel, so that you and your DH don't cancel and upset her like your SIL may have????
Either way you know his family best and this is nothing an honest phone conversation (or face to face) can't solve. Until you speak to them, it's all just assumptions.
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06-09-2015 09:26 #38
WDYT? Inlaws cancelling Christmas :(
Well after sleeping on it and reading bubhub responses I'm feeling a bit better about the whole thing . I'm hoping their intentions are good!
I think the disappointing aspects for us are
-they are using us as the excuse (a newborn is actually easier can sleep/not sleep anywhere!) and the extra sets of hands are always welcome
-it's come out of the blue- to us anyway
-DH in particular looks forward to seeing his parents and having a stroll looking at the amazing local lights and was imaging the same with our kids involved - it is our traditional Christmas and we are sad that it may be ending
-the thought of spending Christmas as just a little family- it really doesn't seem that unique or special to us... I like the idea of a big gathering and my dd adores all the extra attention to!
We've had some rocky patches in the past but our relationship (or so I think) is good again.
DH will ring and speak to his father (not his mum as she would just lie lol) and find out the real reasons and we will take it from there. He's very sad and he's hurting.
Eta: they are a 20 minute drive away- not a big deal in my book.
Dd1 will be almost 3 and dd2 will be around 8 weeks.
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 06-09-2015 at 09:30.
06-09-2015 10:14 #39Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
god, i wish my in laws sent me that email. that would be a dream. MIL thinks it's all about her and her precious daughter. blegh. over it.
06-09-2015 10:15 #40
I think it's hilarious how many people on here have responded with "I'm so jealous" and "I wish we got emails like that" 😂😂
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