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  1. #21
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    No way in hell would I do it. He would pretty much be raising his half brother. I'd find it a bit weird to be honest BUT that's me. If you're comfortable with, your husband is comfortable with it, your FIL is comfortable with and his partner if he has one then I don't see the issue.

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    sirocco  (25-08-2015)

  3. #22
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    @sirocco: i see that you r in WA. If you r in perth, I have some good info for you. Because u only have 2 posts, I cant PM you just yet. Min is 5 posts, i think.

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    sirocco  (25-08-2015)

  5. #23
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    I would be ok with it I think not that we thought about it when we started our journey but thinking now... yeh at least there would be a genetic link. Dh and I decided at the beginning we would remain childless if ivf didn't work for us than have a child that wasn't part of us both.

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    sirocco  (25-08-2015)

  7. #24
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    Genetics don't define you as a parent. Parenting defines you as a parent. Whether your child ends up being via anon donor or your FIL's donation, it's what you and your husband do with the child that matters. Until you've walked the path of infertility, you can't make a judgement on those that have. So if it's in your heart to explore this path, do so. Regardless of others being comfortable with it. Of course it isn't the ideal way that you would have wanted to conceive, but infertility opens doors we wouldn't normally consider.

    I'm in a same sex relationship and used my partners egg and anon donor to conceive, so genetically our unborn child will be no link to me. But carrying it inside me and bringing it to life, to then raise exactly how I would a biological child, makes me every part it's mother.

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    atomicmama  (26-08-2015),Calstar  (25-08-2015),MaximumStarlight  (25-08-2015),mrsboyts  (25-08-2015),ScubaGal  (25-08-2015),sirocco  (25-08-2015),two souls  (25-08-2015)

  9. #25
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    I know people that used FIL sperm as a doner, they have since split, but his parents still have the kids a lot, he's a little unstable, Kids call him dad and FIL grandad.

    If it gets you a BFP then do it! infertility sucks.

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    sirocco  (25-08-2015)

  11. #26
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    I honestly think that it is a great idea as long as there is stability in the family dynamics and no confusion over family roles etc.

    I'd definitely arrange for counseling and testing etc to ensure that this is going to be suitable for your family and that his sperm is viable to be used.

    However, I would personally continue using a fertility clinic for the process rather than do it at home. At least they can ensure all legalities are met and will give you your best opportunity for a bfp.

    I wish you the best of luck with whatever decision you and your dh make

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    sirocco  (25-08-2015)

  13. #27
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    Thanks for the feedback everyone - Both for and against. Always valuable to look at both sides of the equation.

    Like others have mentioned, at the end of the day we all do what fits best with our own circumstances and life. @bbhope here's post #3. I'll have to do a couple more as I'm certainly interested to hear what you've made mention of. Thanks.

  14. #28
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    Is there a MIL to consider in the equation? Does your DH have sisters? Nieces/nephews? Or are there family members on your side who you love, but who may have a really hard time dealing with the idea?

    My main concern would be that something like this could cause a rift across the wider family. As you can see from this thread, people feel quite strongly about it, so I do think you need to at least look at these things. If there is a risk of a family blow up, decide if it is worth it or if the alternatives are a better option.

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    sirocco  (25-08-2015)

  16. #29
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    @Stretched: please don't see my reply as offensive. The reply is for OP.

    Yes MIL is a factor. As for other family members, I think it is none of their business. So I won't worry about their feeling. You have the right to decide who to know. In a vulnerable situation like this, non supportive member is not what you want.

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    sirocco  (25-08-2015)

  18. #30
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    Whatever you do see a counsellor before you do it to make sure everyone involved FULLY comprehends what they are getting into and to figure out how to handle tricky situations down the track. For example - kids need stability - it may not be a simple case of tell the kid everything from the get go.

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    sirocco  (25-08-2015)


 

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