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  1. #201
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    Default Should Ashley Madison Cheaters be exposed?

    Open-minded but yet unwilling to see that not every situation is black and white and maybe somebody doesn't deserve to be driven to suicide? Hmmmmm......

    It's probably easy for me to say I would forgive DH, because I genuinely can't imagine him cheating. But I think he's a genuinely good person and I know my depression and anxiety is a massive strain on our relationship. That doesn't mean I think if he cheated it would be my fault but it does mean I would see his cheating as a symptom of something bigger going on with us rather than him just being a bad guy and that's why I would be willing to see if we could fix it. If it was then made public and/or made him feel so hopeless he took his life, that would break my heart far, far more. Somebody taking control of my life and some need for revenge that has nothing to do with them is so, so wrong. How can that not be seen?

  2. #202
    harvs's Avatar
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    Fwiw, I am completely willing and open to learning about all perspectives. To question those perspectives on a thread that is evidently by its title a discussion topic is not a sign of being narrow minded.

    I'm disappointed to have read personal attacks on another thread. I try extremely hard not to ever resort to negative comments about other hubbers, no matter how passionately I may feel or try to express myself.

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  4. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Fwiw, I am completely willing and open to learning about all perspectives. To question those perspectives on a thread that is evidently by its title a discussion topic is not a sign of being narrow minded.

    I'm disappointed to have read personal attacks on another thread. I try extremely hard not to ever resort to negative comments about other hubbers, no matter how passionately I may feel or try to express myself.
    Hear, hear harvs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Curby View Post
    What's that about close minded people again? A PP has genuinely asked you a question and people have shared their experiences, but you seem to really not care since you already have your opinion and all that.
    Why does March Bundle have to amend her view while others don't have to?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    Exposing these people who cheat to the world, ruining their lives, their families, ruining innocent people's lives is so not worth it.
    .
    No it's not worth it at all. No.

    But to suggest the hackers are responsible for ruining lives and the suicides (as some have in this thread) is misleading. They might have played a part - but no more than the cheaters themselves played when they had he affairs. Whose to say the cheaters wouldn't have hurt themselves when their spouse eventually found out via another way down the track?

    Nothing justifies the hackers actions but I think we need to be careful about giving the cheaters immunity and assigning the hackers full blame for ruining lives and suicides.

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  9. #206
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Why does March Bundle have to amend her view while others don't have to?
    Her comment was based on something said outside of thread, I think.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    No it's not worth it at all. No.

    But to suggest the hackers are responsible for ruining lives and the suicides (as some have in this thread) is misleading. They might have played a part - but no more than the cheaters themselves played when they had he affairs. Whose to say the cheaters wouldn't have hurt themselves when their spouse eventually found out via another way down the track?

    Nothing justifies the hackers actions but I think we need to be careful about giving the cheaters immunity and assigning the hackers full blame for ruining lives and suicides.
    What the hackers have done though is much more than just exposing the cheater to the spouse. Exposing somebody's private life to absolutely everyone is pretty far-reaching. It's not like they just sent an anonymous email to the spouse.

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  12. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    What the hackers have done though is much more than just exposing the cheater to the spouse. Exposing somebody's private life to absolutely everyone is pretty far-reaching. It's not like they just sent an anonymous email to the spouse.
    This.
    What has happened is not being caught out.

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    Think back to some of the 'immoral' things you may have done in your past and imagine if that information was posted on the Internet for the world to see, forever, along with your email, home address and credit card details.

    I haven't cheated on my partner but I've done stuff in my youth that I'm not proud of and would be gutted and ashamed if the 'moral police' decided the world should have this information.

    I do have symphony for the cheaters (and their families) who may have cheated a while back during a rough patch in their marriage and the relationship had since been repaired. In these situations is it not better for the secret to remain hidden for the sake of everyone?

    I think it's not just about what's right and wrong - it's also about what course of action taken at the present time results in the best outcome.

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    This is the thing, we actually don't even know if the suicides where the cheaters or the spouses, the new agencies just say 'linked to the hack.'

    I'm not saying the hack is completely responsible for the suicides, as somone who has depression I completely understand that there's more to suicide. But I'm sorry, the hack could very well have been a trigger and I think it is safe to say that if the hack hadn't happened these people *probably* would not have committed suicide this week, whether they had suicidal thoughts before or after is another issue. Bottom line, they would probably be alive right now and that is all that matters.

    I have a huge issue with anybody ever insinuating somebody deserved to feel so bad that they take their own life. 33 MILLION private details were released. You are never going to convince me that all or any of these people were such awful people that they deserved their lives (and their family's) to be completely ruined.

    It's not even that what the hackers did was illegal, it's that they took the control away from the people who deserved it and decided what the consequences should be for them. It wasn't their job to play God with so many other's lives.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 26-08-2015 at 00:22.

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