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  1. #1
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    Default Are these big mistakes?!

    Hi there. I'm a 34 year old and single and am expecting my first baby (24 weeks pregnant now) via embryo donation. I am finding I'm becoming very anxious about everything to the point that I'm finding it hard to function. I'm worried about so many things affecting the baby and wanted to see if any other people had done any of the following with no issues?

    A lot of infertility PTSD and a small subchorionic haematoma meant that in the first trimester I had ultrasound scans at 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and then I had my nuchal at 12. 12 and 19 week morphology scan went really well too with all appearing normal with Heart rate and size, health of the baby, etc. Now I've read that ultrasounds can be harmful and I don't know whether this is true or not but I'm terribly worried about what it says about a link to autism.

    I used my electric blanket until about 19 weeks (I don't warm up easily just with extra clothes and blankets), not realising it was an issue, and the ob saying to me earlier that it was fine as long as not overheating. I mostly left it on the lowest setting when I went to sleep which kept me comfortable and not hot on the long cold winter nights.
    In the first trimester though I did fall asleep with it on one of the higher settings and woke up hot and a bit sweaty probably on three separate occasions in those weeks and got up and cooled myself quickly in the cold air. Now I'm reading that electric blankets are extremely dangerous to developing fetuses because of electromagnetic fields!!! I'm terrified I have caused some sort of neurological damage from the EMF or heat!

    I boiled some rice bran oil to fry some food the other night and ended up forgetting about it being on (baby brain!!) and the stuff started smoking and smoked out the whole flat! I turned on the oven vent and opened the doors and turned on fans but was terrified because I inhaled a couple breaths of the fumes by accident.

    I've pretty much most nights listened to music on my headphones. Fairly loud and nice for me but now wondering if the baby can get damage to hearing from this? I have never ever put the earphones on my belly, just had them over own ears. Does the baby hear things that are through your headphones?

    I am just so terrified I'll have caused brain damage that might lead to learning problems or behavioural or ASD from these things. It's really scaring me.

    The things I've done right in my pregnancy are:
    Gone to all my appointments
    Had flu shot
    Not taking any medications
    Been on prenatal vitamins for about a year before conceiving
    Taking Calcium and Vitamin D supplement
    Just started fish oil (I hope I'm not too late for this?)
    I walk or use my ergocycle for 1 hour a day for exercise
    I drink nutritional supplement drinks and eat lots of milk and yoghurt
    Have avoided all the pregnancy food no nos.

    Please reply if you have any reassurance you can give me on these things! I'm so worried at the moment.

    XXOO

  2. #2
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    Stop stressing You're not doing drugs, smoking or drinking... you're doing ok. Baby will be fine xox

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  4. #3
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    I couldn't read this and not reply. I think the important thing to remember is, some people smoke, drink, take drugs etc and still end up with healthy babies. Not that I am suggesting this is ok - more that babies are far tougher little creatures than we give them credit for.

    You wouldn't be the first mother to worry that every little action could have an adverse affect on the baby. Especially when you have been through so much to get pregnant in the first place.
    But I am sensing Dr. Google has been your friend and there is sooooo much conflicting info out there on what is and isn't safe to do. If we believed everything we read online we would be wrapping ourselves in organic cotton wool everyday and breathing oxygen from a mask etc.
    Try not to stress. To be honest I think that constant stress and anxiety is far worse for you (and the baby) than any of the above incidentals you've mentioned. Getting your anxiety under control should be your number 1 priority, or it's going to be a loooooong and emotionally exhausting pregnancy for you.
    Ultrasounds are totally fine. Plenty of people have them regularly for a host of reasons and they would NOT offer them regularly (or at all) if there was any risk to your baby. Don't believe the hype on this.
    As for the electric blanket, once again this is just over cautious warning. Overheating to the point you are doing damage to your baby is not actually that easy for you to do. You woke up in a sweat because your body was telling you it needed to cool down. I am assuming you weren't hospitalised for heat exhaustion - if so only then there might be a cause for concern.
    As for the burning of oil - gosh, we breath in bad fumes all the time - petrol, hairspray, deodorants... Etc etc. a once of exposure isn't going to do anything. Now if you were sniffing glue regularly there would be alarm bells. But clearly not the case!

    Try to take a chill pill (easier said than done, I know). Your tests and scans to date show you have every chance of having a beautiful healthy baby in a few short months and you now need to relax and enjoy the journey. Because life is about to get a whole lot more complicated and you will have a whole lot more to worry about once bubs is born. I mean that in a good way 😊

    For the record, in my last pregnancy I ate sushi, smoked salmon, had a glass of vino from time to time, did a triathlon on a very hot day (didn't know I was pregnant at the time), got massages, went to a day spa/sauna etc. And DS was born just perfect. 😉

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    Yep! ^^

    Stop reading! All you're doing is making yourself worry unnecessarily and frankly, you're probably better off without it.
    The main things you have to worry about are the alcohol, smoke, drugs, listeria in food and too hot showers. But honestly- even the chance of harming your baby from most of those is very small. (Obviously the first three its not small but I highly doubt you're dabbling in any of those!)
    Relax and enjoy yourself. Otherwise your whole pregnancy will pass, you will have a little baby and realise you wasted all these months on tenter hooks and worrying without reason.

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    What sunny girl said. Step away from Google. Your main source of information about your pregnancy should be your ob or midwife.
    Have you ever had anxiety issues in the past? I had terrible anxiety during my pregnancy. I wish I could go back and get more help than I did. Do seek help if this is causing you a lot of anxiety/panic attacks etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skysilver View Post
    Hi there. I'm a 34 year old and single and am expecting my first baby (24 weeks pregnant now) via embryo donation. I am finding I'm becoming very anxious about everything to the point that I'm finding it hard to function. I'm worried about so many things affecting the baby and wanted to see if any other people had done any of the following with no issues?

    A lot of infertility PTSD and a small subchorionic haematoma meant that in the first trimester I had ultrasound scans at 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and then I had my nuchal at 12. 12 and 19 week morphology scan went really well too with all appearing normal with Heart rate and size, health of the baby, etc. Now I've read that ultrasounds can be harmful and I don't know whether this is true or not but I'm terribly worried about what it says about a link to autism.

    I used my electric blanket until about 19 weeks (I don't warm up easily just with extra clothes and blankets), not realising it was an issue, and the ob saying to me earlier that it was fine as long as not overheating. I mostly left it on the lowest setting when I went to sleep which kept me comfortable and not hot on the long cold winter nights.
    In the first trimester though I did fall asleep with it on one of the higher settings and woke up hot and a bit sweaty probably on three separate occasions in those weeks and got up and cooled myself quickly in the cold air. Now I'm reading that electric blankets are extremely dangerous to developing fetuses because of electromagnetic fields!!! I'm terrified I have caused some sort of neurological damage from the EMF or heat!

    I boiled some rice bran oil to fry some food the other night and ended up forgetting about it being on (baby brain!!) and the stuff started smoking and smoked out the whole flat! I turned on the oven vent and opened the doors and turned on fans but was terrified because I inhaled a couple breaths of the fumes by accident.

    I've pretty much most nights listened to music on my headphones. Fairly loud and nice for me but now wondering if the baby can get damage to hearing from this? I have never ever put the earphones on my belly, just had them over own ears. Does the baby hear things that are through your headphones?

    I am just so terrified I'll have caused brain damage that might lead to learning problems or behavioural or ASD from these things. It's really scaring me.

    The things I've done right in my pregnancy are:
    Gone to all my appointments
    Had flu shot
    Not taking any medications
    Been on prenatal vitamins for about a year before conceiving
    Taking Calcium and Vitamin D supplement
    Just started fish oil (I hope I'm not too late for this?)
    I walk or use my ergocycle for 1 hour a day for exercise
    I drink nutritional supplement drinks and eat lots of milk and yoghurt
    Have avoided all the pregnancy food no nos.

    Please reply if you have any reassurance you can give me on these things! I'm so worried at the moment.

    XXOO
    U/S have not been proven to cause any sort of damage whatsoever. Baby is fine.

    I use an electric blanket, neither my GP nor my OB are concerned by it. They said TRY not to have it on all night, but it's my call. Baby is fine.

    What else could you have done? Held your breath? Baby is fine.

    Your ears are not connected to your baby's ears. Baby is fine.

    There are much much worse things than behavioural problems or ASD. There is absolutely no proof that anything we do causes it.

    Step away from google, books, etc. Stress is not good for you or the baby, and reading these things will cause it.

    Baby. Is. Fine.

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  11. #7
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    Step away from google! Half of what you read online is totally incorrect (ok,I made that stat up, but goes to show, dont trust what you read online!). Go to your ob/midwife with any questions. It is totally normal to worry about these kinda of things when pregnant! I wish you all the best for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

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  13. #8
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    Big hug to you. Xx

    Perhaps you need to speak to someone about your anxiety, your parents, friends or even GP or counsellor? I mean this in the most sincere way possible. If you are this anxious while being pregnant, once baby arrives you'll be a complete mess.

    I was so pedantic about what I ate in my first pregnancy, to the point where it took over my life. I used to wash salad 3 times (when I say wash salad, I'd wash down the sink, rinse the salad, dry it, wash the salad drainer and repeat). My midwife laughed in my face 😳 I'm not like this this time around.

    Everything you have raised is not concerning, your baby is fine.

    Take a deep breath!

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  15. #9
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    *hugs*
    I suffered terribly from anxiety and ocd in my 1st pregnancy. ..felt like I was suffocating. If you are worrying about everything I really suggest talking to somebody as it is not good for you or bubs.
    Im sure bubs is nice and snuggled and growing beautifully. Try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

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  17. #10
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    Oh ladies, you don't know how much your replies and reassurance helps! Thank you all so much for spending a few minutes to respond. I do have a counsellor but it hasn't been helping so far really. I find it much better to talk to people who have experienced similar or have done similar and their babies are fine. That is what gives me reassurance more than anything. I am a total stress head about other things too but this has been the most anxiety-inducing experience, especially after so much IVF failure. I just don't want to do anything at all that could put my baby at any risk. I'm so relieved that these things don't sound like big problems to you.
    I might think about seeing a counsellor again as the birth gets closer. I totally hear that I'm going to be a real bit of a nutcase once the baby comes if I don't calm down a little bit now. You're so right.
    Thank so much! xxoo

  18. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Skysilver For This Useful Post:

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