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  1. #51
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    Thank you! It's the pressure to make dd into a good sleeper that stresses me out. Yes I'm tired from the multiple wakings and sometimes I want to vent about it. That doesn't mean my unwillingness to sleep train dd makes me a bad parent or her a bad baby.

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    Thats exactly how I was feelibg this morning @babyla with my near 6 week old. I was in tears as I was so exhausted after all the wake ups last night. This post made me recalibrate my expectations and just try and relax alittle about bubs sleep or lack of. So perfect timing and thanks @Sonja

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  5. #53
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    I completely agree that not all children (or adults!) will sleep through the night. However from the age of about 5ish (and I say ish as kids are different) I think it's reasonable to expect the child to deal with this themselves and get themselves back to sleep most of the time. There is of course going to be times where the child is sick / has had a nightmare / wet the bed and can't deal with it on their own.

    Maybe I'm just mean but if DSS1 or DSS2 (8 and 6) woke me/DP up in the middle of the night because they were hot or cold or thirsty we would quite bluntly tell them to kick off the blankets / get another blanket / get a bloody glass of water, go back to bed and leave us alone.

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  7. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by torn13 View Post
    Thats exactly how I was feelibg this morning @babyla with my near 6 week old. I was in tears as I was so exhausted after all the wake ups last night. This post made me recalibrate my expectations and just try and relax alittle about bubs sleep or lack of. So perfect timing and thanks @Sonja
    It's really hard being sleep deprived and not trying to *fix it*. I logically know that DD is doing what's normal so cognitively reminding myself is really important!

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  9. #55
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    I think there can be extreme opinions on both sides. I had someone ask me when my baby was 2 DAYS OLD if they were sleeping through yet, & when I said something like 'um,hell no!' they said something about how she was being 'a bit naughty'. At two days old. Lol. On the other side of things, I do think that it is possible to have SOME environmental factors in place to create good sleep habits, IF that is what works for your family. If helping to create good sleep habits were impossible,there would be no sleep schools. They would have a 0% success rate.

    Me, I sit somewhere in the middle. You can help guide your child to sleeping well, if you so choose to do so. It wont work for every child. Some kids will not sleep regardless. We all parent differently, & sleep is a part of that. Some of us are happy to get up 6 times a night to feed a 10 month old, some of us would rather night wean them. Either way,its ok to make your own choices with what is right for your family.

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  11. #56
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    I honestly don't believe it's important to start "training" a child how to sleep until they're old enough to reason with. I have always just responded to my baby's needs. My 3rd hated his cot, so he never slept in one. Ever. He slept in a queen size mattress on his bedrrom floor. I slept with him for the first 14 months of his life.
    I now have a 5 year old, 4 year old and 2 year old who sleep through every night, despite them waking a billion times a night for the first 18 months of their lives, as soon as they could understand about bed time and staying in their own beds and wake up times we managed to sort it. My littlest one was getting up at 4am until very recently, but I've managed to sort that one out over the past few weeks with a bit of coaxing and the help of a gro clock and his brother and sister also explaining to him it's not time to get up yet.

    If my kids need me through the night I go to them. I've never EVER left any of them to cry or chastised them for getting up. Fed them to sleep for every single sleep for the first 14-15 months of their lives... and they've learnt how to sleep just fine, but if they hadn't, and they still needed me through the night, I'd be there. No issue, no questions asked.

    I don't sleep. I never sleep. I suck at sleeping. Always have. I'm awake most of the night just lying there wishing I was asleep. I often lie there thinking, if I was 5 years old, I would want my mum right now. I'm so bored and I don't understand why I can't sleep, why can't I sleep? If my kids needed my help to sleep, they'd get it. It is just pure luck for me that I had kids that sleep well - and have managed to do so despite my complete lack of routine with their sleeping habits in their first 18 months of life.

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    Night waking is normal and sttn in scientific studies is 'usually' 5hrs. I don't know about you but I do not class 5hrs as sleeping thru the night.

    I find it very interesting ppl referring to this expert or that expert. tizzie is not a sleep expert, pinky McKay is not a sleep expert, majority of the other self proclaimed experts aren't experts either.

    This website is from the university of Notre dame and professor James McKenna http://cosleeping.nd.edu I believe Prof McKenna is actually an expert, he runs the mothers and babies sleep lab at the uni.

    My own experience is my DD is not a great sleeper. I have tried lots of 'tweaking' Inc sleep school and none of it worked. When she was 17mths she started sleeping longer for dh so I night weaned. It was an easy transition because she was ready for it. She now goes to sleep in her big girl bed most nights with me giving her a little pat. Some nights she sleeps thru and some nights she wakes and I bring her into my bed and she sleeps there the rest of the night.

  14. #58
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    I always feel sorry for mums who have difficult sleepers, but it is not because the child is 'difficult' but more that the mum is put under so much stress to 'fix' the problem. I was fortunate with my four kids, all of them slept pretty well. I don't remember too many sleepless nights. I would have struggled with a lack of sleep myself. the stress that is put on mothers, especially new mums, is often the greatest cause of anxiety, and depression. there really needs to be more acceptance of the differences in babies, and family dynamics. whatever is your experience, is your normal, and so long as it works for you, that is all that matters. marie.

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    What is a "bad sleeper" away?

    Some would say my ds is a bad sleeper...he *still* wakes several times a night at 18 months and needs me to get him back to sleep. And he needs me to get him to sleep at bedtime and nap time. But he sleeps 11-12 hours overnight with minimal awake time (usually) as we cosleep and he has a 1.5-3 hour nap a day. So whenever someone asks how he sleeps I say "good" because that's what it is to me. Dh wakes several times at night and I find it hard to settle and unwind at bedtime. It is not surprising that ds is the same!

    I purposely do things differently than what my parents did. I never coslept with my parents and I had poorer sleep for it imo. I couldn't cope when waking up at night without help from my parents until I was about 10. I was scared of the dark (despite nightlight and brother being in the room) so too scared to walk alone to the toilet or if I had a nightmare I would be too scared to go back to sleep. My parents made me feel bad for waking them so sometimes I would wet the bed, lie awake scared and I remember once I threw up but didn't want to get into "trouble" so didn't tell my mum and went to school as normal the next day. She wasn't happy I hadn't told her when I got home from school! I want something different for my kids.
    Last edited by AdornedWithCats; 11-08-2015 at 12:01.

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    Default Not every child will sleep

    ....
    Last edited by Louise41; 11-08-2015 at 12:04.


 
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