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    Default Let's talk star charts

    I am thinking of setting up star charts for both kids for doing various things. Tell me how star charts have worked for your kids- what the basic ground rules are (ie what earns a star), how often you give incentives and the big one- what incentives you give. I'm thinking perhaps extra screen time for DS (he's 5) but DD won't really understand that concept as she's only 2.5. I don't want to use food or toys as incentives.
    Ideas and words of wisdom please!

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    One on one time?

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    I would reward with your time. Works a treat in this house.

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    Do you think DD would be too young to understand that concept though?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Do you think DD would be too young to understand that concept though?
    When I think of my youngest, yes, I think that is a bit beyond her. She doesn't have a chart or anything but she's pretty easy at the moment so doesn't really need one either. Yet

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    When I think of my youngest, yes, I think that is a bit beyond her. She doesn't have a chart or anything but she's pretty easy at the moment so doesn't really need one either. Yet
    I'm going to attempt one to get her to put herself to sleep! Sick of sitting with her every single night for 30-60 minutes (I know you understand that feeling BRV!) we used one for DS around the same age (a few months older actually) for toilet training and it worked really well, but he got Lego mini figures. But we have so much cr&p in the house now I don't want to be giving both of them toys all the time.

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    They've worked really well for me as long as I'm very specific.

    So 'being good' or 'going to bed nicely' didn't work well. But something more specific like 'not complaining when mummy leaves the room ' was better. Hope that makes sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArthurDent View Post
    They've worked really well for me as long as I'm very specific.

    So 'being good' or 'going to bed nicely' didn't work well. But something more specific like 'not complaining when mummy leaves the room ' was better. Hope that makes sense.
    Definitely! I was actually just discussing that with DP. Like for DS we were thinking of saying 'you get a star if you get yourself dressed before 8am' (huuuge battle at the moment!) and we will give him warnings at quarter to and 5 to 8, but apart from that not fight with him about it. Because I don't want to be giving him stars for dressing himself if we have to have a huge song and dance number about it.

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    Our 4.5 year old just got a new star chart today. He gets stars for things like listening, using manners, washing hands (after toilet, before meals), brushing teeth (twice a day), getting dressed, toileting (he's just learning to wipe own bottom), washing face and hair, tidy toys. The chart has rows and columns. When the whole chart is complete he gets a big Lego item to put together with Dad. Along the way when he's completed a number of columns he gets a Lego minifigure. He loves Lego and it also happens to be a great form of discipline as we only have to threaten to take some Lego away and he usually stops misbehaving.

    His old chart also had things like play nice with baby, let cat in/out, use potty but it's changed a bit this time and I think next year it'll include things like getting ready for school, making breakfast and lunch etc, doing homework (reading) and doing some things without being told (like brushing teeth or using the toilet before bed).

    Some other reward ideas could be a day out somewhere. To museum, planetarium, Lego show, beach or park.

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    Star charts have worked wonders at our house. They are always very specific, for DS who is 4 I still have- get dressed, wash face/brush teeth, with DD (she is 11) I think I took it off the chart at 5, by the it was just the norm.
    DS is still little so his rewards are - things like have a picnic at the park, go to a movie, build a something with DH, basically things that he loves, sometimes it will be the whole family sometimes just me or DH.
    I don't like food rewards, so we avoid that but sometimes we have had a baking biscuits day, I avoid extra screen time because the kid is just nuts about anything with a screen so I don't encourage him.
    With the rewards I stick to them religiously, I will tell people I'm busy for that certain time, we've never cancelled reward time for other things, so I usually do these things Sunday morning, as then we won't have unexpected visitors or whatever. DD gets pocket money that started no long ago, this only just started. So we'll see how it goes.

    We avoid heaps of tantrums, and I avoid a lot of nagging and complaining with DD, we always put the stars on the chart before bed, once their in pj's. Last one is go to bed on time, so it's just a little reminder


 

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