8 year old needs decayed adult tooth extracted - feel like the worst parent

[ThisIsLiving]

I feel so sad, and ashamed.

my 8 year old has bad decay in his back adult molar tooth. The dentist tried to do a temporary repair that would last him for a few years, but ultimately it needs removal. My son became upset during today's procedure, so the dentist stopped, & said it's too traumatic and sore to keep going so gave me a referral to a dental surgeon. I left almost in tears, I feel so bad.

anyway after my boy had calmed down, he said it wasn't his tooth that had been hurting during the procedure, it was his cheek! I think he was just overtired & overwhelmed, poor kid.

woukd you return to thr dentist to request he tries again? This will buy us a few more years with the tooth if successful, to allow his other teeth to space and come down etc. or just go ahead with the extraction and have it over with?

i feel physically sick today, I feel so rotten. Always brushed his teeth & eaten well' I just can't understand it. We didn't floss though, I've obviously done something majorly wrong. I've let my boy down big time. Even I still have all of my adult teeth. Just so cruel.

[turquoisecoast]

don't beat yourself up too much about it. if you've always endured a healthy diet and regular tooth brushing, it might just be down to genetics?

perhaps ask the dent if there is anything else that can be done preventatively to stop this from happening to any of his other adult teeth?

[Kaybaby]

Dont beat yourself up too much. I have 3 children and one of them has problems with his teeth. They all have the same dental hygiene and diet! My DS ended up with 3 x crowns before he was 4 (by a dental surgeon)...the best thing is they fissure sealled all of his teeth while he was under, so havent had any problems sinece. They did say its possible he has poor enamel due to him being "failure to thrive" as a infant. Apparently the enamel is one of the last things to be laid down in utero and in baby hood esp if there is a dietary deficit.
Now, I have had all his adult teeth fissure sealed as well to prevent any future problems.

[*Chels*]

you do know they will fall out and be replaced?!?! I am going through the same thing with my almost 7yo. He had a sore tooth so took him to dentist,,got a a filling. 6 months later at a checkup its falling out,and I have been referred to a pediatric dentist. Its looking like extraction...screw going through a root canal!! I know how you feel...the worst mum in the world my 10 year old has nooo fillings at all!!its awful.

[sparklebug]

Don't be so hard on yourself!
I'm wondering if your that it is an adult tooth, molars usually fall out between 10-12yrs.
My DD had 2 molars fixed, at 10, they were still the baby teeth, she has lost one since.

[ThisIsLiving]

Thanks everyone for your kind words of support. I still feel rotten, how could I let my poor kids tooth get so bad, why didn't I see it earlier etc. DH & I even had an arguement before he left for work today about it. I was of the same opinion re are you sure it's not a baby tooth - but apparently it is an adult one - the dentist is certain, even though he has on,y just turned 8. It's the last molar in the bottom. I'm praying and hoping against hope the dentist has it wrong though. X-ray and appointment with dental surgeon next week. Not sure whether to seek 2nd opinion from another dentist - I'm thinking I might, don't wasn't to put sd through more then he has to, but maybe worth it to see someone else

[CazHazKidz]

If it's the 3rd molar back, it's a permanent one. The 3rd molar is the first permanent tooth to grow, and they get it can show up from about 6 years old. It does sound like its proably the permanent tooth.

Do NOT feel guilty. You've done everythign you can. My husband has absolutely rotten teeth, ROTTEN. They all fall out. His parents are not to blame, his diet was fine, his brushing routine was fine, they didn't have any bad habits like letting him take a bottle to bed or drinking juice before bed or anythign like that. It's just him.

The last time he went to a dentist, the dentist did mention something about him having very acidic saliva and that being the cause of his constant tooth decay. I believe there are things you can get to help with this like a different sort of toothpaste, and possibly something for him to chew or suck on through the day to help make his saliva more alkaline and not damage his teeth further? I'm not 100% sure because my husband didn't really look into it like he shoud have, but I'm sure if he could go back to 8 years old and prevent what has happened to his teeth now he would.

Good luck! At this point it's just one tooth, which I know is still awful, but at least now you know he is going to be prone to tooth issues and you can be proactive about it now. Fingers crossed you can prevent him from having a lifetime of dental issues

(oh and by the way, my dental hygiene leaves a LOT to be desired. I brush once a day, have never flossed in my life, drink heaps of sugary drinks without brushing after, often go to bed after just having eaten or drank something sugary, and I have never in my life had one single filling. Apart from a bit of staining my teeth are perfect, and it's definitley not due to a great dental routine)

[monnie24]

Don't be hard on yourself.

My kids are VERY young (DS not even two) and we are about to spend nearly $1600 at the dentist his teeth are rotting because he's lost all the enamel or something? Due to all the medicine he was on in hospital and antibiotics. DD will probably be the same from her tonsillitis. Thank god for PHI!

Hugs Hun.

[Lillynix]

Don't beat yourself up. My almost 9yo DD has been to day surgery twice for dental work now.

First time was for 3 molar restorations and the second time to have one of those molars pulled out.

She has pretty much NO enamel on her adult teeth is super prone to dental issues and they happen quickly.

I still felt terrible to start with, but hey, it happens and often there's nothing you can do to prevent it.

[Gracie's Mum]

Teeth issues aren't always related to hygiene so please don't allow yourself to take the blame. My partner never goes to the dentist and his teeth never have any problems. Then here I am with teeth that break and crumble so easily. I have lost 2 teeth in 2 pregnancies that have just literally crumbled to pieces. Its just my teeth. We are all different.