also, at what point does it stop? like does the kid turn 6 (or whatever age you decide is old enough to stop) and suddenly you go "no more sleeping with mum and dad". like wouldn't that cause anxiety for the child?
this post is my general used opinion too, definitely not aimed at you @DT75 personally.
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31-07-2015 13:18 #81
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31-07-2015 13:41 #82
With my children there will never be an age where they are banned. I want them to know at any time day or night if they need any emotional or physical reassurance, I'm there.
My 5yo still Occ crawls in around 3-5am for cuddles, or when dh is back for a weekend she sleeps the whole night with us. She misses her dad very much and needs to be near him when he is home.
That doesnt mean dh and I Dont get special times. We are very creative.
Some kids need emotional support more than others.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
31-07-2015 13:52 #83
What works for every family is different. As R&A said, long term bed sharing is a very normal part of life around the world.
For us, we put our girls to bed together in their room and when DD2 wakes, she comes into bed with me. DH then sleeps the rest of the night in their room. When DD1 wakes in the morning, she hops into bed with him. They both love it and we all get the most sleep this way. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but DH and I have an incredibly strong relationship and a very healthy sex life. Not spending the whole night sleeping together in bed has zero impact on our relationship. We are asleep anyway!
I vividly remember waking scared in the night when I was a kid and knowing I would get in trouble if I went in to my mum - I never want that for my children.
31-07-2015 14:23 #84
Anyone elses kids wake up stupidly early every single day?
Thankfully we have 4 other rooms to have sex in so our relationship is fine 😉
I vividly remember waking scared in the night when I was a kid and knowing I would get in trouble if I went in to my mum - I never want that for my children.[/QUOTE]
This was my thought as well, except my parents were great at letting us bed share. As we go older we had a mattress on the floor. We eventually adjusted to dealing with dreams etc by ourselves and didn't need to go in. (Eta - Sorry meant to quote Green Mama)
Eta - in topic, DS has gone from waking at 7, to 5:30 after a holiday to Qld, am hoping he changes back soon, anything before 6 I can't handle.
Last edited by smallpotatoes; 31-07-2015 at 14:26.
05-08-2015 07:19 #85
Well a bit of an update on my 4am waker. I decided it was time to put my foot down, not because I have any issue with bed sharing or anythign like that, if he had of come into my room each morning climbed in and gone back to sleep I'd be more than happy to do that forever, but he did NOT do that. He was up at 4am and running around the house screaming, waking everyone up, and carrying on loudly insisting I get up too. It was getting too much for everybody.
SO! I pulled out the old gro clock I had hidden in the cupboard. My eldest absolutely hated it when I bought it for him a few years ago, and refused to sleep with it in his room, so it got put away and forgotten about. I put it in the boys room and set it for the sun to come up at 6am. I explained to Hayden that he wasn't to get out of bed until the sun came up on his clock, and that Benny would wake up and try to get him up to, but to ignore him and tell him to go back to bed until the sun came up.
First few days Ben was up at 4 still, and I'd put him back to bed explaining that it was still bed time until the sun came up. He grizzled a little but no full blown screaming like I was expecting, and he only got up a couple of times.
Yesterday (after a week or so with the new routine) was the first day in god knows how many years that I didn't hear a peep from any of them until 6am. At 6am Hayden yelled out THE SUN'S UP and jumped out of bed. So that means he must have been clock watching, but not a peep till it was up. Today it was a few minutes AFTER 6 and Ben made the first noise. Hayden hadn't even realised! So he wasn't clock watching today. Yay!
I'm pretty excited it's worked. I honestly believed it was a battle I couldn't win and wasn't willing to upset anyone in making it work, but it's happened relatively tear free which is amazing. I will say though, that without Hayden's help it would not have happened at all. There's no way Ben would have understood or stuck with it without his big brothers help.
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