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25-07-2015 07:42 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
I am feeling really annoyed.
Last edited by GlitterFarts; 25-07-2015 at 11:06.
25-07-2015 07:51 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
Just wanna send you some hugs.
Sounds like you have alot on your plate and your brother is spoilt and lazy.
I'm not sure why your parents think it is okay to expect so much of you 😔
Perhaps you can send a taxi in the morning anyway...... Sure they might not be happy but what are they going to do? Stay at the airport? No! And if they are angry they might back off a bit.
25-07-2015 07:56 #3
Wow that is crazy, I can't believe they expect you to have food in the fridge for them when they get home!
I would tell them to find their own way home!!
They are adults and are expecting far too much from you!
I think it is time you just started saying NO! Stuff feeling guilty about it, bet they don't feel guilty about saying no to babysitting for you!!
Time to reclaim some time back for yourself and your kids instead of attending to their every whim, that goes for your lazy brother too!!
The Following User Says Thank You to kiwimum890 For This Useful Post:
25-07-2015 07:58 #4
sounds like it's time to start setting some boundaries. just tell them you're busy and can't do it. your brother is a grown man, why do your parents think they need you to check in on him?
if they don't trust him, why have him housesit?
just start pushing back on the unreasonable demands. and don't buy into the guilt trips. their lives are not your responsibility!
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25-07-2015 08:00 #5
Don't do it. Your brother lived there... He can replace the food and clean the house. People will only treat you as bad as you let them. Maybe if it's not done they will learn to appreciate you more. If they know guilt trips work... They will keep doing it... So don't feel guilty be strong... Think about how used and walked on right now you feel.
Call your brother... Kids are sick you are going to have to pick up mum and dad....
I know it's easier said than done but even you can see they are milking you and taking advantage of you good nature. The only way it will change is if you change it.
25-07-2015 08:08 #6
You are being used up OP. They are banking on your better nature and using your inability to say no to completely take you for granted. This is probably not intentional but has just become the norm.
Time for a new world order!!!
Set some boundaries. Picking people up from the airport when I have a family is a flat out no for me. I would just say no and send them the taxi number.
There is no way I would be cleaning, shopping or picking up after my slovenly brother. Just don't do it. They can take it up with him upon their return.
The only way to stop being used is to say no. It seems they will not stop asking so it's up to you to stop them.
25-07-2015 08:12 #7
Just wanted to add that the only way you can do this is by not allowing them to guilt trip you - they will still try but only you can deflect this.
Even have s few phrases ready for when they try eg:
- yes I thought that's what you'd say - I still can't do it
- it doesn't surprise me that you're reacting this way but it's still no
Don't say sorry and use as few words as possible.
25-07-2015 08:16 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Be like your brother and refuse to do anything. Simple. Eventually they'll get the hint. You're not a taxi service and you are not in charge of your brother and what he does. IF he lives at their place while they're gone and he's not mature enough then they shouldn't have him there.
25-07-2015 08:24 #9
Oh OP, no wonder you're over it! They are asking far too much of you, and blatantly using you. It's wrong.
They have taken you for granted for far too long. Time to start saying no every now and again so they know you aren't there for them at their every whim. If they don't like it, tough.
Every time you feel the guilts, remind yourself of how little they help you and you'll feel justified.
25-07-2015 08:29 #10
Big hugs to you! How frustrating. But the best thing you can do is stop letting them treat you like this, your dh and kids are your main priority not your parents and 25yr old brother
By tubster in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 12Last Post: 08-03-2015, 11:11
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