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  1. #131
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    She sounds harsh, how truly awful for you Louise.

    This would be my plan B, find a job ANY job and I would try to find some shared accommodation with somebody you could see yourself getting along with until you were back on your feet enough to get your own place.

    You might be scared and unsure initially but just keep remembering your goal which is to have a happy peaceful life.

    This is why I am such an advocate of woman staying in the workforce, I see constantly too many woman being stuck in awful situations as they have no choice. Feeling you have no choices is perhaps worst than the abuse.

    The positive for you Louise is you have no small children so really you only need to worry about housing yourself ( not sure about your DD), just try to gather every bit of strength you can muster and leave him. Nothing is worth your mental health, nothing.

    The world is your oyster girl just get out of there and take it.

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  3. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    update : well i just spent the weekend with my mum and sat and spoke to her about whats been happening and i asked if i could move into her spare room downstairs mid december and she said no.... she said i need to stay married as my H has been such a huge support to me and that its my job to make my marriage work.. she said that he is such a good man and he doesnt deserve to be on his own.. she said she will not support me leaving him and she thinks that my issues are silly... all marriages have issues and that i need to find a job and he will be happier if im a better wife ..

    my mother is a ...............
    sorry, but just no. did you tell her how he poured oil down your top??

    I'm so sorry your mum is not taking your side and supporting you. it's not your job to stay married to an abusive man and try to "make it work".

    have you got any girlfriends that you could rely on? or a sister or brother?

    hugs xx

  4. #133
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    Hugs. Sorry your mum has let you down when she should be supporting you. Massive hugs hun.

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  6. #134
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    What the eff!!!!
    What a horrible person let alone your mother!!

  7. #135
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    Please don't let your mum stop you from finding happiness. You deserve a better marriage. Your mum is so wrong. Go to a woman's shelter if you have to. This is a really scary time in your life, but you WILL get through it, you will be able to support yourself. Please don't feel like you need to be stuck in this loveless marriage forever. One day you will look back and be so happy that you took the plunge and made a life for yourself on your own, and didn't stay in a loveless marriage with an abusive man.

  8. #136
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    Default Wwyd

    Quote Originally Posted by Myztiks#1Fan View Post
    Hugs. Sorry your mum has let you down when she should be supporting you. Massive hugs hun.
    Exactly this.

    What an awful response from her, I'm sorry she doesn't have your best interests at heart. You know you deserve better - better from both of them. Big hugs!!

  9. #137
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    Tell your mother if she thinks he's so great, she can go live with him.

    I'm sorry she's let you down. Don't listen to her. I would hazard a guess she's of the age that you didn't leave your awful marriage because it wasn't "the done thing". And that's not true. You deserve happiness and staying won't give you that. Leave, do it on your own terms and then start living.

  10. #138
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    Default Wwyd

    Spend the rest of your life being happy. Do this for yourself.
    Last edited by babyno1onboard; 20-09-2015 at 15:54.

  11. #139
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    Ohhhh you must be so disappointed in your mother! How can she let you down like that? I'm so sorry. I agree with a PP, get a job, any job and start saving any penny that you can for your new life.
    We are all here for you x

  12. #140
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    Thank you everyone

    I'm still feeling very letdown and very hurt by her comments but honestly I'm not surprised. My mother is very much about herself and how she is seen so I'm assuming that me moving in with her wouldn't sit to well with her image amongst her friends.

    I have 2 months left on my diploma then hopefully I can find work

    I will be leaving H as soon as Dd moves out mid dec. for now I'm just going with the flow

    Thank you all so much for your support.. It's helping me immensely

    Xxx

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