I hope he hasn't been trying to tell you that you can't do this on your own and that you need him etc. Because you are strong and you CAN do this on your own. Don't let him or anyone else tell you any different. You weren't going to have him at the birth or move back etc but now you are and I'm just hoping it's because he's giving you positive reasons to do so, not giving you the negative reasons why it would be bad if he wasn't there for the birth or living with you.
Has he broken up with the mistress?
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22-07-2015 14:57 #31
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22-07-2015 15:09 #32
He has made it pretty clear he is only here right now because of the baby and any relationship between us needs to come back naturally not forced... so i dont feel very positive about it.
I wanted him at the birth as i felt that he needed to be a part of that for his son and i felt i did need him but seeing as though we are like strangers now its like having some random man off the street come in.
Urgh i am so confused! I just wish there wasn't a child involved so i could move on.
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22-07-2015 15:11 #33
Misho does have a point. OP, I think in the long term you are better off without him. I feel like you're desperately trying to hold onto the hope that you will be able to have the family you pictured, but hon, maybe it's time you draw a new and better picture...just because it may feel hard now, doesn't mean it will feel like that forever.
You have my support either way, but I think deep down you know what's best xx.
22-07-2015 15:11 #34
I would leave it your name. And if later on down the track things work out, fine so be it you can change it. But right now he's being ridiculous.
You need to be strong. Did you contact the counsellors etc to help you ?
22-07-2015 15:22 #35
Sorry I don't mean to be negative Nancy or confuse you any more, but I really hope he's doing these thing for the right reasons.
22-07-2015 15:24 #36
22-07-2015 15:25 #37
WWYD- Babys surname
This guy has acted like lowlife scum while you were together, cheated on you when you are carrying his child, shown no remorse and now continues to act like a jerk even after HE has ruined everything!
You strike me as a reasonably strong person, yet you continue to let him walk all over you .
I know you're hoping he will wake up to himself, but honestly having a baby is likely to just make things worse between you. You will feel even more hopeless and powerless against him.
The only way you have any hope of making him change the way he treats you - is if you demand it and give him NOTHING unless he earns it. It's like training a dog (I'm sorry but it's true). The more power you give him, the less he will respect you. You have to empower yourself first, otherwise you're doomed to be his hostage in the meantime.
Please get some help and wake up to reality, I'm sure deep down you know this, and I know it's so hard to do but you owe it to yourself and your bub xx
Last edited by Mumsical; 22-07-2015 at 15:28.
22-07-2015 15:29 #38
22-07-2015 15:33 #39
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22-07-2015 15:36 #40
I'm the daughter of a man that was and still is a very questionable husband. Didn't treat my mum with the respect she deserved.
He cheated on her repeatedly. However he never cheated on me! It's not like he went and picked another daughter over me? He still cared and looked after me and my brothers.
Anyway I guess my point is that he still has a chance of being a good father.
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