For me positives out weigh the negatives by 95%.
I had my first 9months and 2 weeks after i got married. I was just 21. I had my 6th bub just a few day before my 40th. We lost a few along the way. I have been a SAHM for most of that time. I love my life.
My biggest thing i eould change is that I would have sort help for ds1 learning disabilities earlier. So listening to my gut more would be the thing I would change. Oh and I wouldn't have agreed to owner building. That 6 months turned into 8 long freaking years.
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16-07-2015 15:47 #21
Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 16-07-2015 at 16:15.
16-07-2015 15:55 #22
I love our kids and being a mum as much if not more than I thought. But in the same breath I think it has been harder than I ever imagined it would be.
I've been pregnant for more time than I haven't over the last 3 years and sometimes I want some space to myself. But then someone offers me space and I can't enjoy it because I miss my kids to much.
I love my job and enjoyed going back after I had DS1 but I missed him so much I struggled. I can imagine that after i return once baby 3 is here and I've had another 11 months maternity leave I will be ready to go back!!
Although it's incredibly hard some days, I wouldn't change it. 3 kids in 3 years has been tiring but so far I wouldn't change anything except to give me more patience which is something I feel I lack at times.
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16-07-2015 16:13 #23
I'd like to have had more money so I could stay at home but I'm glad we had her when we did if we want to fit in some more.
16-07-2015 16:41 #24
The biggest thing I'd change is timing. I wish I'd waited until I'd finished my degree (I fell pregnant in my second last year).
The positives of parenting:
Pride. My kids make me so proud. My daughter is very challenging, but she's also profoundly gifted. She's like a real life Sheldon from Big Bang but with more empathy and kindness. She's smarter than me and I have learnt so much from her. Having her in my life makes every day a journey of discovery. My son is sweet and gentle and just the light of my life. I'm so proud of both of them.
Love. I love them more than I've loved anything or anyone before and when they're not around I feel a little empty. When we're all together I feel safe.
Experience. I love that having kids has allowed me to experience a different kind of life than I'd ever known before. To use a cliche - I feel I've experienced more of the rich tapestry of life now.
Empathy. I am a more empathetic person since I've had kids. I don't judge parents the way I did when I was childless. I understand what its like to be surviving on very little sleep and at the end of your resources. Becoming a parent made me grow up and become a better person (sorry if that's a bit too soppy, but for me its the truth. I was very immature before I had kids).
Parenting is hard work, but its a part of who I am now, and I wouldn't be the same person without my children.
16-07-2015 17:16 #25
I havent read all the replies so may be repeating some of what's been said.
My first was a very clingy baby. She just loved loved loved her Mummy and wanted to be with me all the time. If I had my time over I would not listen to all the people who made so many negative comments and made me feel guilty and as if I was doing something wrong. I can see now I was doing nothing wrong, and DD wasnt doing anything wrong, its just the way she was (and at 6 she still is a complete Mummy's girl).
The other thing that has recently hit me is that while its been great being a FT SAHM for the past 6 years, now that my youngest is about to start school, I have zero chance of getting back to anywhere near my former salary (just on $95k). I have totally lost confidence in my abilities. I think I am really going to struggle to get a job, particularly a job that i will enjoy. I wish, with hindsight, I had continued in some form of paid employment on a part time basis.
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16-07-2015 17:33 #26
what would I have done differently - not a thing.
Dont get me wrong, it hasnt been easy or smooth sailing. It took us a long time to fall pregnant ... but I am also glad that we waited a while to get our finances in order as I have loved having the flexibility of being a SAHM.
I dont think starting earlier would have changed anything for us .. the reasons for only being able to have 1 is just 'one of those things' - its not due to decisions that we made so I cant say I would have done it differently.
I did know that there was a chance I wouldnt have any more (fertility issues are always tricky) so I made sure with DD that I did it the way I wanted. That I didnt want regrets.
before having her, I always thought I would go back to work. My career had always been very important to me and I had worked hard to get where I was ... but I found that I didnt have the drive or motivation any more. Staying longer at work and having more responsibilities meant less time at home ... and that wasnt what I wanted - so I ended up cutting back a lot.
I have loved being essentially a SAHM. I work - but only a small amount.
I also was lucky enough to have the oportunity to work for Bubhub for the last year, which has been sooooo wonderful.
I am truly a lucky, lucky woman who loves being a Mum. It is everything I dreamed it would be.
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16-07-2015 17:47 #27
I don't wish we had done anything differently
We were 34 and 35 when we ttc
Financially ok with our own home and low mortgage and established careers.
We had a mc then took 11 months to conceive again. Even though at the time it wasn't fun, I'm sort of glad I experienced the ttc journey.
I don't regret returning to work when dd was 7.5 months 2 days a week. I felt i needed to and feel I'm a better mummy having my 'rest' at work.
Our dd brings us joy every single minute, even though it's the toughest job I've had
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16-07-2015 17:55 #28
I don't regret anything. We had our first after a long long time ttc and after almost 9 years together and our 3rd took over 3 years to conceive as well. Motherhood is the hardest but most wonderful thing I've ever done. I've given up my career to be at home long term which I don't regret for a single second. My kids bring me so much joy and happiness. DS2 has started laughing and is hitting so many milestones I feel like it's going too fast.
I think being a mum has made me a much better person. More responsible, loving and mature. The only regret I could possibly have is that for several reasons we'll never have a 4th. I feel like I was born to be a mum and even when I'm sleep deprived, stripping my bed at 2am from puke or a poonami, it's all worth it.
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16-07-2015 18:52 #29
I love being a mum. My favourite thing about our daughter that she is something that hubby and I created completely ourselves - I am still amazed at how conception happens! She's makes me appreciate really simple things and her giggles are contagious.
I really struggled for the first 6 months until I went back to work, I struggled with not being in control at all with parenting and having that balance of being back at work let me be in control at work and taught me to relax more at home.
2.5 years in and I wouldn't change anything so far... Though we only have one, ask me again in a few years and I might change my answer lol.
16-07-2015 18:56 #30
There is no way i would change a thing about my husband & children!
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