Both- we support each other as much as we can and always have.
I could never have her in the delivery room with me though...
Love my mum, wish she didn't live on the other side of the world.
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16-07-2015 11:23 #21
16-07-2015 13:06 #22
My younger years with my mam weren't great.
I feel she saw me as a threat in her home with her partner, my step-dad.
Anyway, things changed between us when she left him.
We are close but I would never have her at the birth of my babies for all the same reasons as you, Mambo.
She worries all the time. I don't mind if it's worth worrying over but mostl of the time it's over silly stuff and that drives me batty.
shes also queen of stating the absolute bl00dy obvious so I lose my temper quickly with that kind of thing.
Meh, I'm not her favourite anyway.
She didn't get the daughter she wanted out of me.
I very much did my own thing from day dot and more so when she tried to push me towards things I obviously wasn't in to.
Despite all that, we have a good relationship now.
The early years have just taught me what not to do with my own little girl.
16-07-2015 13:49 #23
My mother is on the other side of the world... and I hope to god she stays there. She is a malignant narcissist who made my life a living hell. I would never trust her with my children (even my father told me when I got to about 13 that if my mother ever really lost it and he wasn't there I should lock myself in a cupboard, or run to the neighbours, as he was worried she would come after me with a knife) and the idea of having her in the birth suite is enough to make me have anxiety attacks!! She would have everyone chasing around after her even if I was bleeding to death on the floor.
16-07-2015 14:08 #24
I'm not close with my mum, so I would not have her in the delivery room with me. She's overbearing and I don't even want to think about how she'll be once I have my first.
16-07-2015 14:12 #25
Never, we aren't that close. She's very judgmental both my mother and father which puts up a barrier between us. Both my parents look down upon me too often it seems which makes it hard to form a bond with them. They have old fashioned beliefs, we aren't on the same page or even the same book. Still love them but my mother would not come into a birthing suite with me.
16-07-2015 14:17 #26
My mum didn't attend ds' birth. No way would I have wanted her there...she would have ruined the mood!
But now she helps out heaps with ds when I need to go to uni. So I guess she still supports me. Though she really looks after ds for herself (her relationship with him, for the love & cuddles, she's a bit obsessed/infatuated) rather than to help me out. But it works in my favour. 😉
However, if there was a way she could get us to financial support her she would! I used to have to pay her when I lived at home (I have no problem paying board in theory but when your a poor student it makes life financially very difficult - especially if you have to choose between studying for an exam or doing an extra shift at work to pay for petrol). She has a huge sense of entitlement. Drives me crazy sometimes.
We stand on each other toes if we are around each other too often. But we get along ok.
Last edited by AdornedWithCats; 16-07-2015 at 14:19.
16-07-2015 15:49 #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
I had my mum in the room when I had my DS, I also had my mil (and my DH and sister). Im pretty close with both my mum and mil (more so my mil) but I honestly think it's brought my mother and I a lot closer. We've never really had a good relationship but the moment I new I was in labour all I wanted was my mum by my side.
16-07-2015 16:34 #28
16-07-2015 16:48 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
We support each other. We've had our ups and downs but I know she's there for me 1000% no matter what and that she'll always have my back and I've got hers.
I didn't have her with me in labour because I had DH and he was amazing (after all three births he had the middies asking if he'd ever considered midwifery - all that experience helping ewes lamb maybe ) but mum would've been great and she and dad were waiting right outside each time.
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16-07-2015 17:22 #30
A bit of both.
There is no way in freaking hell would I have her in my births. Just no. The thought really freaks me.
I am her main carer of sorts. I do all her banking and take her to most of her Dr's. I do help her with shopping a few time a week etc..
She is there if I need help.
Dd1 supports me in the way I can talk out and work out my thoughts if I am in a what the far out am I going to do mode.
I support her in anyway I can. I wish I could do more.
The people I don't get on those shows are the ones that have mum and dad, mil and fil, sisters and brothers and sil and bil. Sometimes random aunt or friends.
As in there are 6 to 10 people in there have a good old chat up while watching the main show so to speak.
It's freaking crazy.
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