I am very close to my mum. She is an absolute legend of a human being. Yes, we support each other. She wasn't present at either of my births, but that's because I only wanted DH. If DH couldn't have been there she would have been next on my list.
My mum is nearly 77. I lost my dad 4 years ago and the fact that my mum is elderly (I hate that word - she looks like she's in her sixties and acts like she's in her fifties) scares the cr*p out of me.
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16-07-2015 08:52 #11
16-07-2015 08:55 #12
My mum is a fabulous support. She is always there for us when we need her. This is awesome but occasionally she is there probably a little too much lol. Her mum passed away when she was young and she has always tried to be the mum she never had.
She did not come into the delivery room when I was in labour. I did text her at 2am and told her my waters broke and she couldn't contain herself with excitement, she apparently laid awake all night in bed, then came into the hospital to drop off supplies - she wasn't supposed to come in until after we let her know DS was here. She said she heard me down the hallway when she dropped of some food at the desk and it really upset her hearing me in pain, I think she then worried the whole time (even though nothing was wrong!) until DH let her know DS had arrived safe and well and she could come and visit. Outside of me and DH, her and my step-dad were the first people to see DS.
She wouldn't intrude on the labour process. She has always said it's a time for the parents and baby to bond after birth, however if I wanted her she would be there in a heartbeat. She doesn't cope well with any of us being sick/in pain etc but she would do it for me if I needed or wanted her there.
I try and make sure I do things for mum too - I probably don't do enough tbh. But I always make sure to say thanks and I love you often
16-07-2015 08:57 #13
My mum has passed away now but even before she did she had early onset dementia so she would have been too stressful to have in the room, plus we weren't that close due to a strained relationship. It sounds like your mum could be suffering from anxiety, has she seen a dr about her worrying?
16-07-2015 08:59 #14
Super close to my mum. She's always there for me and I'm always there for her. But Im not sure i'd have her at my births. She's a worrier also so that would stress me out. I'd have my sister though.
16-07-2015 09:06 #15
I support my mum. I love her, and we have a surprisingly good relationship, but she is a very complex woman who I suspect suffers a personality disorder of some sort, amongst other things.
Any issue I have, she's been through exactly the same thing, but 10 times worse - it's always about her and I inevitably end up supporting her. For example, the other day, my vision went blurry and my peripheral vision disappeared in one eye for about 20 mins. Turns out it was an 'occular migraine' according to my doctor. I mentioned this on the phone to her, and sure enough, the exact same thing happened to her this week, but she had to call her husband home from work, lasted for hours etc... 😏. I wish I was joking!
Once I stopped expecting support from her and just enjoyed her for what she is (and keep her at a bit of distance - she lives in another country) our relationship got a lot better.
16-07-2015 09:13 #16
It's a bit complicated with my mum. She would do anything for me. Sometimes that gets on my nerves. I feel like she was very lacking when I was a kid and I was left to do my own thing and now she's trying to make up for it. Too much now and far to late. But I love her and truly appreciate everything she does for me and our kids. They live across the road and they would do whatever we need. I tend to not want her emotional support as it reminds me I didn't have it when needed and DH is wonderful for that.
I did see her both times before heading to the birth centre in labour. 1st to pick up the dog and 2nd to come and be with DS1. Both times I couldn't wait to be away fast enough she was the last person I wanted near me and just gave me the Sh!ts
16-07-2015 09:31 #17
I love my mum, she and my step dad are currently living with us, she is an amazing support and help with my ds.
But there is no way i would have in the birthing suite with me as a support. She's a worrier and stresses very easily and would in turn annoy me and stress dh. I had my sister who was amazing right up to the moment I was rushed to theater.
My mum and I support each other equally, she hasn't had an easy life so I am forgiving of her annoying quirks
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16-07-2015 09:34 #18
My Mum is a phenomenal support to me. Even though she hasn't always agreed with my choices, she respects that I'm an adult and need to make my own choices and I always feel supported by her. When things turn to sh!t, she's usually the first person I'll call and she's has always dropped everything when I need help. Funnily enough, she wasn't there when DS was born though!
My father has chosen to 'remove himself' from the family and has only asked I contact him via email if something is urgent. So currently he offers no support. When we are on speaking terms though, I feel his support is extremely conditional. He's judge mental and makes his opinions very well known. However when things get really bad, I know I could count on him for some things.
16-07-2015 09:34 #19
I love my mum and had her at the birth of my first son, however she is such a worry wart plagued with anxiety that I find her stressful to be around. I also find that I am the one often supporting her, advice, financial help etc.
16-07-2015 09:42 #20Senior Member
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