i dont regret having my kids but what i do regret is putting them through a divorce and seeing how it affected them.. I wish i had done things differently.
i also regret not having a career , i am at the point now where my last child is leaving home in 4 months and i will be an "empty nester"... i have no career to fall back on... that is my deepest regret..
but no i dont regret my 2 amazing adult children who are the reason i breathe ...
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15-07-2015 09:08 #51Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
15-07-2015 09:17 #52
Thank you for starting such an honest thread.
I had wanted kids for as long as I could remember, since I was a little girl really. I wanted four kids.
Fast forward to adulthood and finally had a baby when I was 31. It changed everything.
I did get clucky and we had another baby when my first was 2. My youngest is now over 2 and I feel no cluckiness whatsoever now.
I love my kids more than anything in this world, and I am pretty sure they know that.....and here's my but...
I realised I am not as good at motherhood as I thought I'd be. I definitely don't enjoy being a mother a lot of the time. My 2 yr old still wakes multiple times a night and I'm just so tired! I have very little patience. I miss my old life. I miss the relationship that I had with my husband.
Before I had kids, I couldn't understand those people who didn't want kids....I mean who doesn't want kids right?! But I get it now.
15-07-2015 09:20 #53
Put it this way - if it was possible to be told what the future would hold, and someone told me before I had a child 'you WILL have a child with ASD', I would not have fallen pregnant. DH and I were pretty content when it was just the two of us.
I fell pregnant because I figured I was getting older and it seemed like the natural thing to do once you're married and you've been together a long time. I also thought I'd regret it if I didn't.
Raising a special needs child is bloody hard on many levels, but my son is so many kinds of wonderful. He's the most breathtaking human being I've ever laid eyes on. He seriously looks like a child supermodel to me, like he should be modelling Baby GAP. I am fiercely protective of him and love him with every ounce of my soul.
Do I regret having him? No. Do I wish he didn't have ASD? Damn straight.
15-07-2015 09:31 #54
I posted early on in this thread.
And you've articulated my life right there too! Just replace ASD for rare syndrome and this is me.
I don't regret my daughter at all. But I wish our life was easier with her. And more importantly. .. I wish her life was easier for her.
And I think she should be model too...she's unbelievably cute!!!! Lol.
15-07-2015 09:36 #55
I don't regret my 2 kids, but I can easily see how a parent would. I am lucky in that my circumstances work in my favour, I guess, and these help me to not feel too stretched. Having said all this - I am pregnant with our third (and definitely last) and I have had more moments than I care to admit where I wonder 'what am I doing have another?!' I agreed to this baby because I knew dh wanted 3, sometimes I wonder if I should have put my foot down and said no. I wasn't overly against 3, but I also wasn't overly against sticking with 2. He seemed to want it more than I didn't, so I went with it. I am hoping more than anything that when this little guy arrives I won't feel the regret talked about in this thread..
15-07-2015 09:37 #56
15-07-2015 10:20 #57
I love my son.
I hate being a mum. It's like wearing a badly fitting outfit that makes me uncomfortable and restless.
I hate that I chose being a mum over my marriage, and even more so now that I hate being a mum.
But I love my son. It's what I keep coming back to.
So, I still don't know...
15-07-2015 10:28 #58
My kids are my life and I most certainly can't imagine my life without any of them
I DO hate that I can't ever just be annoyed or in a bad mood or at the end of my patience without feeling insanely guilty for feeling that way. It is really hard for your feelings to not just be yours anymore. If I'm sad, or mad, or cranky, or moody, or impatient... so are my kids. Everything I do they do. Everything I feel they feel. THAT is what I find the hardest about being a parent. That I can't just get stressed out and feel over it and say so without feeling like the most rotten person on the planet.
I totally understand why some people in this thread feel the way they do. I've been extremely blessed to have 3 healthy children. Spirited and insane, yes. Non sleepers, yes... but healthy none the less. Hopefully my surprise 4th baby will be healthy too. I'm not sure how I would have coped if there were health issues or if my marriage hadn't worked out. I know things would be very different. please let my belly baby be a healthy happy baby
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15-07-2015 10:38 #59
Just have to say it again i love this thread.
Im sure its going to help alot of mums feel normal and understood and not so alone, me included
15-07-2015 10:54 #60Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
I adore my daughter but I do wish I had have lived my own life for a little bit longer and got more established in my own goals first. I don't regret her, just the timing. 23 is too young to be a mum IMO.
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