This is a rant. These are the things that I try not to voice because I dont want to seem ungrateful but I just need to let it all out.
I feel so down and out. I'm sick and tired of watching everyone around me fall pregnant and have their healthy babies. I sick of having long painful periods which is just another reminder that my body is ****ed and can't give me the one thing i so desperatly want. I'm sick of putting on a happy face all the time.
Yes I'm grateful for my daughter but having her doesn't ease the pain of what i don't have. Everyday I grieve my 2 misscarriages. Everyday I grieve my daughter who was born sleeping at 21 weeks. Everyday i feel guilty that my daughter is an only child and i cant give her the sibling she always asks for, and everyday i feel guilty that i feel this way when there are so many deserving woman out there still trying for their first without success.
I just feel sad, angry, guilty and tired of the whole process.
Thanks for letting me let that out.
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Results 1 to 8 of 8
12-07-2015 21:48 #1
TTC blues :( will i ever get my baby?
13-07-2015 09:19 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
hi lovely I couldn't read and run. Sending you huge hugs. bumping for more responses from ladies who have been down this path.
13-07-2015 09:42 #3
I understand exactly where you are coming from hun and I am feeling just as low at the moment so big hugs. So sorry about your miscarriages and your dd who was born asleep, I cant begin to imagine how that must feel.
We have a 4 year old dd who was conceived through OI. She has recently been asking when I will get I baby in my tummy, she wants a brother or sister just like her other friends. We have tried so hard to fulfill her and our dreams but it just doesn't seem to be happening. After 2 and a half years of trying we are still hitting a brick wall . We have been doing ivf for the last year and had 1 fresh transfer and 3 frozen transfers. The last of which was last week which has already been doomed as the embryo didn't expand after the thaw.
I cant really help with how you are feeling hun but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. This is one huge difficult journey that no one who hasn't been through it can ever understand, the longing is such a constant feeling that we carry around with us every day. As for feeling guilty due to having your dd I can definitely sympathize with that hun as feel the same at times, but our feelings for number two are not less painful we deserve to grieve also for a dream that seems so far away. Good luck with it all hun and hope getting your feelings out there has helped.
Last edited by Heyside; 13-07-2015 at 09:45.
13-07-2015 18:12 #4
Thank you glitter and heyside. I really appreciate your replies. As silly as it seems I do feel better having let it all out. I really hope you get your baby too heyside x
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13-07-2015 18:54 #5
Glad its helped and your feeling a little better x
13-07-2015 19:04 #6
15-07-2015 12:02 #7
Big hugs to you.. I hope you get your much deserved bub soon.
15-07-2015 13:57 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
Completely understandable feelings. Losses are still losses no matter what or how much you have.
Do you have a fertility specialist? May be able to help speed up the process for you?
I had miscarriages after 2 children and felt overwhelmingly sad/guilty/anxious about never having another baby. We are now pregnant via ivf - was a long and hard road, a real emotional roller coaster. Hang in there and get help if you need it is my advice 😊
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