I've got two beautiful girls and i thought i was done, even got rid of all the baby things, but have found myself quite jealous when i found out someone i knew was pregnant, which has got me thinking maybe I'm not done?
I love love babies and for our small little house i feel like 2 kids is enough (my youngest is now 20 months). Everything works so well now, am i going to mess it up having another?
Do you regret stopping at 2?
Did you get that "I'm definitely done" feeling?
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12-07-2015 06:31 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
Stopping at 2, any regrets? Did you get that feeling of definitely done?
12-07-2015 06:39 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
I was the same as you, got rid of everything, DH was definitely happy with 2, really could only comfortably fit 2 in our tiny house/car. But I had that niggly feeling that I wasn't done, and jealousy whenever someone announced a pregnancy or a new baby. So now..... I have 3!
12-07-2015 07:10 #3
We stopped at 2. I wanted a third for a very short time when DS2 was still a baby, but that went away and never came back. I definitely have the done feeling. The thought of a third terrifies me. DH ended up getting the snip. I have two boys, never wanted a girl and am very content with our decision to stop.
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12-07-2015 07:56 #4
I thought I was done with 2, then had an unplanned pregnancy (a very big surprise natural pregnancy after 2 IVF pregnancies). Sadly that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and now 3 years down the track I still get upset that we dont have a 3rd child. I see 3 child families and feel a pang of sadness. if anyone i know announces they are pregnant with their 3rd, i irrationally feel jealous and upset (not that they are pregnant, simply that my pregnancy didnt work out).
My DH never wanted a 3rd and after much discussion, and me admitting that i couldnt be responsible for birth control because i'd like to fall pregnant again, he had a vasectomy.
I am trying very hard to be happy with 2, but would have loved a 3rd.
12-07-2015 08:39 #5
I have a 3.5 year old girl and 9 month old boy. I'm sooooo done!
3 people in my life are currently pregnant and while I'm a bit jealous that they're going to be feeling their babies move and enjoying that feeling of 9 exclusive months of just them and their baby, my mind then turns to giving birth again. No thanks! Establishing breastfeeding. No thanks! Sleep deprivation. No thanks! Being at home full time. No thanks. Looking after 3 children. No thanks. Relationship with DH being put on the back burner because it's all about the kids. No thanks! Not being able to enjoy a holiday because it has to be planned around sleeps and towing 3 kids around. No thanks! Having to take 3 kids to music, singing, dancing, sport lessons etc or having to tell them they have to miss out because we can't be in 3 places at once. No thanks!
I think it's important to think about what it would be like to have 3 young children, 3 school aged children, 3 teenagers, not just think about the feeling of being pregnant, the cute little newborn baby, you will have 3 children to love and take care of. I know there's enough love to go around if you had 20 children, but also think of how 3 would impact on your lifestyle and how it would effect your children as you'll have to spread yourself thinner with 3.
I just know for me, I couldn't mentally cope with 3. I want to share my attention between 2 children and 2 only. And the idea of a 3rd doesn't even for one second sound appealing. I actually fear having a third, I really don't know what I'd do if I got pregnant. I know it would completely ruin my life. I know that sounds dramatic but it would. DH would never think abortion was a good idea, I don't personally agree with it myself, but a third child would truly have a negative impact on my mental wellbeing, that I would have to consider having one but if I decided to I would actually have to do it without DH knowing which would be keeping the worst secret ever which would end up ruining our marriage. But If he ever found out or if he knew I was pregnant and convinced me to have it I would resent him and it would also be the end of our marriage. Again it sounds dramatic but these are all reasons I know totally and utterly done with 2.
12-07-2015 08:45 #6
I stopped at 2 and I know I'm definitely done. I do occasionally wonder what my other children would have been like - personality, appearance, gender, names etc and wish for more. But I think its normal to wonder what your life would be like if you'd made different decisions. I know that I would not cope with another baby. I'm exhausted as it is with 2, and our finances are stretched. And our family generally does feel complete to me. When I only had one, I had this feeling that someone was missing. Now DS is here, I don't have that feeling anymore. I feel like I'm done with the baby stage and I'm ready to move on.
I still look at other people's babies and think, 'how sweet'. But I have no desire to go back to 24/7 care of one.
12-07-2015 09:02 #7
12-07-2015 09:04 #8
We have stopped at two and have absolutely no desire for any more.
We just knew we were done.
12-07-2015 09:20 #9
I've been debating this in my head since DS was born almost a year ago. I am currently leaning towards stopping. I have 2 awesome kids and I love them fiercely, I do feel like we have a complete and perfect family unit now. If we didn't have a frozen embryo I think we would have made the decision to stop by now, but having that embryo makes it tricky - it's sitting there tempting us and I feel like it deserves a chance. We'll see!
12-07-2015 09:53 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2014
Hi. Before we had kids we thought we ll have 2 kids. When ds was 10m we started trying again. Had dd when ds was 19 1/2 months. We def werent done. Had dd2 who is now 3m. And agreed we ll have one more amd our family will be complete. 4 kids is my maximum I think. Having 3 now is easy. Dd2 sleeps 12hr at night. She s the most content and happy chubby little bub. I adore her. And kids cant get enough talking to her and holding her. Makes me really happy to see how ds and dd accept her and cant wait until she can play with them. So I think we ll stop at 4 but if ever I was to fall pregnant unplanned our lives wouldnt be ruined. We would be all the more blessed. Wouldnt be easy but we would manage and be happy. I would think about my babies to look after and delight in my kids who all might have different interests and who would at times need to understand if we cant pursue them all. My teenagers who would make their own mistakes and hopefully come to talk tome throigh ttheir problems. And finally adults having their own families and hopefully grandchildren I would spoil oh amd holidays and bday parties or any family gatherings would be soo much more fun with all of them!!
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