I have never offered alternatives. My kids eat their dinner or go to bed hungry. If they havent eaten a sufficent amount of dinner then it gets wrapped up and reheated for breakfast. They have only ever not eaten dinner once each. They learnt their lesson. This also helps to not have picky eaters.
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10-07-2015 19:51 #21Senior Member
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- Jun 2008
10-07-2015 19:58 #22
Haven't read all responses...but I've never offered alternatives. DD (nearly 3) definitely understands.
I do make sure that if she's having something new, then there's also something that she knows/likes on the plate.
Food certainly isn't a battleground for us (much as DD tries to make it one at times). Expectations are clear...she gets some say in what she eats (usually a choice of a couple of things, or helps prepare it etc.), then if she doesn't want to eat it she doesn't have to. Up to her.
10-07-2015 19:59 #23
We don't offer anything else, DS is nearly 2 and deals with it, if he doesn't eat at the time we will put it aside and offer it later.
He will eat if he's hungry and if he doesn't want to we don't force the issue.
10-07-2015 20:05 #24
DD is 16 months. She gets a choice of 2 meals that we know she likes as she's eaten them before.
She will always refuse dinner if she knows she can have a banana or yoghurt afterwards because we're afraid of her going hungry.
Asking your children to eat healthy, balanced, nutritious foods that offers variety is not traumatizing in my opinion.
Someone I'm close to would only ever eat beef, potato and holland aide sauce. Nothing else ever as a child. She'd tantrum like you wouldn't believe. A child possessed. So her mum would give in. She was an overweight child when her brother was thin and healthy. She still won't eat anything healthy and struggles with weight and all associated problems. She's got a myriad of health issues.
There's nothing cruel about providing healthy meals to your child. Two choices of appropriate meals.
I will NEVER force my child to eat something they hate. But a meal I prepare often has at least 3 vege choices, a meat and a piece of whole grain bread.
My daughter loves pumpkin, but if she thinks she's going to get a yoghurt afterwards then she'll refuse her pumpkin and throw it on the ground.
10-07-2015 22:18 #25
I think you really need to know if it's a real sensory thing or no before taking a hard line and at that age I don't think you can. If I took the hard line I know my son just wouldn't eat full stop as I know for him is a real sensory processing issue.
11-07-2015 06:43 #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
Can't remember when I started that. Years ago, but not sure if I started as young as 2.5, maybe I did though, as I don't really ever remember offering alternatives. It works well for us.
If I were you I would be insisting she sits at the table with everyone for at least a while, ie not run off straight away, and encourage her to have a little bite of everything to try it (with some foods we started with a lick!). I don't like the idea of offering alternatives, especially at bedtime. If at bedtime she says she's hungry, I would just tell remind her "but we just had dinner, now it's bedtime".
11-07-2015 07:10 #27
DS is nearly four and we have never really offered alternatives. He gets natural yogurt as a dessert every night if he eats (or at least gives his dinner a good try...I know that everyone has genuine likes and dislikes!). If he doesn't eat then no yogurt and no alternative. We never get angry with him if he doesn't eat and there arent any scenes or negativity...just a simple "ok, if you dont eat that is fine, but there is no yogurt and nothing else."
He seems to respond well to that and we have never really had many dramas.
ETA: when he was younger he did go through a stage of running away from tge table. Again, we just told him that if he left the table there was nothing else. After an annoying few weeks he stopped messing about.
Last edited by Patience86; 11-07-2015 at 07:13.
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11-07-2015 09:34 #28Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
Have always done this with my DD who is the same age as yours OP. DD is a good eater - she doesn't eat much but will try pretty much anything we give her and eats a wide variety of food. We sit together to eat dinner. She must sit at the table until everyone has finished eating but we never force her to eat anything. If she doesn't want her dinner she can have any fruit or veg that she chooses. The other night she didn't eat her pasta but chose to eat a handful of mushrooms out of the fridge an hour later. I always put her leftovers in the fridge because if she wants dessert she must finish all her dinner first. I am a firm believer that it is my job to provide healthy food and her job to eat what she needs for her body.
11-07-2015 10:17 #29
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11-07-2015 10:42 #30Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
My DD is 5 but has sensory issues so 'dinner or nothing' will probably never happen in this house. Goodluck!
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