Have had the heartbreaking news that our baby is no more. It only happen in the couple of days or day of our first 10 week scan as he measured up to date.
As awful as it is having to deal with this saddness. I don't know what to do next. Miscarry naturally, medicated miscarriage, or the surgery and completly being knocked out.
I really don't think I want the last. I'm in agony trying to work out whether to wait the possible weeks of natural. Or have the medication, which I'm booked in for in a few or so days.
I also have a 2 year old, that I don't want to have to experience this if I'm home alone with him when it strikes, randomly in who knows how long.
This seems so cruel. And I feel for everyone going thru or been thru this. Any advice or experience anyone has would be so much appreciated.
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25-06-2015 20:35 #1
Baby no heartbeat at 10 weeks
25-06-2015 20:43 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
Sooo sooo sorry. ... it's just so devastating that through the shock, grief, hurt, anger and sadness its hard to think of anything. . I've only had DnC as I wanted it over and done with and not a drawn out process. . Up to you if you want to wait for your body to acknowledge that your baby has passed. . Have you had bloods taken so they can start to monitor your levels? Sending you big hugs. . Life just sucks !!!!
25-06-2015 20:45 #3
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, it's an awful decision to make
I chose to have a d&c when I had a MMC as mentally I needed it dealt with immediately, I couldn't have gone through the waiting game.
Be kind to yourself when you're going through this. Have you got someone who can look after your toddler so you can have some time to get your thoughts together?
25-06-2015 20:59 #4
Sorry to hear, it's such an emotional, lonely and helpless time. I went through this last month I was 12w and decided to go natural. I thought that if my body is capable of doing it, l should let it. I decided this after being in the emergency ward waiting to have a d&c. I spoke to the doctors on duty and was terrified to have a d&c and really didn't want one. I ended up deciding to go home and they were supportive and gave me endone and Panadeine forte for pain management.
There's no right or wrong decision, you need to work out what's best for you.
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25-06-2015 21:21 #5
Thank you all for commenting. I haven't had any blood work done, they haven't mentioned anything about that...? Maybe I should ask...? I keep flipping back and forth between options every hour or so. I do have someone to look after my little one. But not really anyone on call, which I guess is a motivating factor to have something scheduled in.
As bad as it sounds I kind of just wish it happened without notice... Instead of excitement of the first u/s and heartbeat, to not getting to hear it at all, and to be where I am now.
I am ashamed to say I never realised just how bad this feels. I just want to appologse to anyone who's been thru it, you know?
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25-06-2015 21:41 #6-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
So sorry for your loss. Please don't feel guilty - it's something you can't fully comprehend until you've been through it yourself xx
25-06-2015 21:43 #7
Baby no heartbeat at 10 weeks
I'm so sorry. We lost our bubba at 14 weeks and I took the DnC. A day later it was as if it hadn't happend. No pain no bleeding no nothing. With a toddler I would take the DnC. I'm so sorry you are going through this. We had been in for a routine scan and saw baby still on the screen. I had the DnC that afternoon as it was 2 days before Christmas. It all happend so fast but I went home that night with panadol and no baby. It's very hard. Be kind on yourself.
Last edited by lilypily; 25-06-2015 at 21:51.
26-06-2015 06:35 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
@Alipoo I am so sorry for your loss 😥
We lost ours at 9 weeks, bub was measuring 6 weeks. For me it took my body 3 weeks to mc naturally, however I didn't know at the time of the mc that bub had stopped growing. Mine was natural, at the time I didn't know bub has stopped growing. If I had I likely would have still chosen natural with the help of medication.
There is no right or wrong choice here, do what feels right for you. If you choose natural, what @Reneeharry suggested about pain support I would too advise. I didn't have any and it would have been much more manageable.
Be kind to yourself! No one should ever have to experience this. We are all always here to support ☺️
26-06-2015 08:08 #9
@Alipoo I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss, it is a very difficult thing to go through. I've had several miscarriages and only one was natural, for the others I had D&Cs. When I had a MMC at eight weeks, I decided to try and let things happen naturally. Unfortunately six weeks later nothing had happened, except my placenta kept growing so I had all the pregnancy symptoms, but my baby had died. That was the most horrific six weeks. When I finally gave in and had the D&C there was still very little sign that I was going to miscarry anytime soon.
I've found the D&Cs to be very simple and easy. Minimal bleeding if any, very mild cramping and over and done with quickly. There's no right or wrong. Good luck
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26-06-2015 08:23 #10
I'm so sorry for your loss
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