Ok I have another question. I work 5 days per week in an office 8.30 to 5. I have been in my job for 3 years. There are around 30-40 employees.
I want to start ivf but I am unsure how to explain constant absence at work? How did you handle this?
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15-06-2015 11:09 #1
IVF and work?
15-06-2015 11:32 #2
Hey @KittyDeFleur I have actually found it easier than I expected with regards to missing work. I guess every clinic is different, but my FS does all his cycle monitoring scans and blood tests early in the morning, so I go on my way to work and still arrive at normal time. I take the day off for EPU, and just say I need a day off for a ‘minor day procedure’, and then go back to work the next day. Thankfully my boss is quite discreet so has never asked for more info. My embryo transfers have been in the early morning as well, so again, I’ve been able to work a normal day afterwards. So all in all, each cycle so far I’ve missed an hour or two of work for my first appointment of the cycle (the one where you ring up on day one and they squeeze you in), and then one day off for EPU and that’s it. I hope that helps, and all the best for your cycle
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15-06-2015 15:20 #3
I was a shift worker when I started, so could change my shifts around. Now I work for myself its a non issue... But biggest thing I found is to try and have a good relationship with your employer so they understand. I was just upfront and honest, and they're usually pretty good and discrete.
15-06-2015 15:24 #4
I told my employer and they were incredibly supportive, I'm 2 hours from the clinic and 45 mins from where I can do bloods, and I suffered OHSS after EPU so I missed a lot of work that cycle month! Worst thing was my workmates thinking I had some terrible health problem!
15-06-2015 15:40 #5
I also ended up telling my boss when we started. I didn't want to but am extremely glad I did! My boss was very supportive & if I needed to come in a little late or leave a little early to get to appointments it was not a problem. I also needed a day off for egg collection & transfer. I ended up with mild OHSS so ended up taking about a week off from work.
I guess it also depends on what your boss is like. Mine didn't gossip to anyone so it was good as only one other person at work knew I was doing IVF. I wouldn't have dealt very well if others found out & were constantly asking if it had worked etc.
15-06-2015 15:51 #6
I also told my boss and took 2 weeks off work for the stimming phase as I was about an hour away from the clinic and going everyday for bloods and scans. Again he was very supportive and whilst I know he wouldn't have told anyone I work in a small environment so decided to tell people. I also developed ohss and was in hospital for 3 weeks with it so ended up only working for a week after the transfer then being off for 5 weeks! Felt very guilty but glad I was upfront as would have been very hard for me to keep things secret especially trying to explain to people why i was in hospital. It was tough though knowing that people would be asking if it worked etc but lucky for me it did.
15-06-2015 17:04 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
This is a tough one. It depends on how private you are and your workplace. Personally I would not say anything at the beginning. You could pass off some lateness as getting your car serviced or having work done at your house or something. Then just take a sick day for EPU. Most of your checks should be first thing in the morning so depending how far your clinic is you might be able to get in on time. Hopefully your first cycle or second works and then you just have to do the usual pregnancy appointments.
I only told my boss in a moment of weakness when I was on my 4th cycle. My mum was really sick at the time and I was just really stressed and emotional. I wish I hadn't said anything because she is really nosy in general and I personally did not like discussing my situation. Then when I did get pregnant she asked me in front of my whole team including a couple of people I didn't know if the baby was ivf or natural. She has no tact. I was and still am (34 weeks pregnant now) furious about it. So my advice would be to think carefully as you can't un-say it.
15-06-2015 17:12 #8
I was upfront with my boss from day 1. I think honesty is the best option. For me I was so grateful for the support I got from the few collegues I chose to tell, I had a breakdown when I was phoned at work to be told our first transfer was unsuccessful and thank goodness my collegues were there to support me.
15-06-2015 17:35 #9
I've ummed and ahhed about this issue too. When it comes down to it though, there is no way for me to not tell my boss (unless I do permanent night shift, which is no fun for anyone!). I work mostly 12hr shifts from 7-7 so unless I can do everything at like 5am, there's no way I'll be able to fit it in before work.
A number of the girls at work know about our TTC journey and have been incredibly supportive. My boss is a bit funny about some stuff (as in wouldn't give me annual leave to attend DHs grandmas funeral, I had to take it as unpaid because I couldn't swap with anyone), but I hope she will be supportive and practical. I work with my FS so I know he will try and book me in for times as early as possible for appointments and let me have blood tests taken at work rather than through the fertility clinic which helps a lot (not sure this will be the far in an IVF cycle though).
It's a personal choice, but I believe it would make it less stressful for my boss to be aware. That way if it does interfere with work, people will be on my side. Having people at work know too means that they will be willing to swap shifts with me if need be.
I'm not sure when our starting point will be though, but as soon as the process starts I will be telling my boss.
15-06-2015 21:03 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
I think it comes down to your workplace and your relationship with your manager. I also think if you are a good employee and you give a bit then you can get flexibility in return. I told my manager when we started that we were undergoing fertility treatment so when I had fs appt she understood rather than thinking I was off at job interviews!! I usually have day of epu off as sick leave I usually say day surgery. Dep on how it goes I sometimes go back the next day or I work from home. I try and get early fs appointments which make it easier. I only work 3 days a week so last cycle I was lucky I had a couple of scans on my days off. I just had to manage looking after a toddler while having a vaginal scan not the best!!
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