Hugs, i know how you feel, OP. I didnt read the original thread, but some members on here can be so nasty and rude. I was on here for a few years & i asked to have my account deleted & i tool a big break. Came back (new name & new attitude) & its much better. I stay clear of topics that are overly rude and heated, or if i do post,try to do so in a way that doesnt welcome arguments and rudeness. Once i asked a political question (a genuine question), and was told that i was 'lazy and stupid and everything that is wrong with this country'. I was pregnant at the time and I cried, lol. I generally get along well with everyone IRL, so its a bit of a shock to come on here &have people be so nasty. Take a break &come back when youre ready. All the best xx
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15-06-2015 18:06 #31
Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 15-06-2015 at 18:53.
15-06-2015 19:03 #32
Please don't leave, you were in my TRC threads and you're such a kind and supportive hubber.
I used to be here as a completely different member and left after I felt severely bullied after one thread in particular. I came back when TTC my DS and have more recently changed my name after a second hiatus as I felt I wasn't getting anything positive out of BH, came back with a name change, not to change who I was but just to refresh my name after the birth of DS and start fresh and I vowed not to get sucked into anything negative. It hasn't worked so well but I now choose my battles.
I had a WWYD breastfeeding / parents room thread that also turned nasty, but I stay as I'm a bored SAHM. at the moment and this is my adult conversation.
Your thread I actually agreed with your opinion of how risky the other mums behaviour was but it probably didn't come across that way as I also said I wouldn't have done what you did - not because it was risky but my DD and her personality/our circumstances wouldn't have made it a wise choice for us. I hope that better sums up my opinion. I hope you don't feel I was being rude or attacking in that thread but if you did, I'm so sorry as I do know what it's like to be in the minority with so many things. I've been in your shoes too many times to count. 9 times out of 10 I'm in the minority that's for sure.
15-06-2015 19:54 #33
I think most people in that thread just replied whether they thought it was irresponsible or not.
To be honest I don't even know who the cliques are on here?? I respond to posts, not to usernames. There are times I've seen differently to someone in a thread and said so, gone to the next thread and quoted what they posted in 100% agreement.
15-06-2015 19:57 #34
You have been around a while, as have I. I have replied, posted etc to various posts with MY opinion and others don't like that. Please don't go.
It's just like normal everyday life. We have groups we form friendships. We also all parent differently it doesn't make us any bad, any better either. 👍
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15-06-2015 20:13 #35
I think BH is pretty repesentative of real life...You know the old saying "Opinions are like Ar*h**es - everybody had one". I actually enjoy the diversity. It never ever suprises me that people have vastly different ideas and opinion to me...surely that diverity is what makes the world an interesting place? I also think people probably get a bit carried away with the pedantics of a topic/post/situation and that's when it gets out of hand. By the same token though, if a post is made looking for support of an opinion, and that support is not as forthcoming as an OP expects it can make them feel like they are outside of the "norm"...not always a great feeling.
I guess, it often comes down to confidence...our own personal confidence in our own decision making, our abilty to deal with the consequences of our decisions, and having the resilience to cope with feeling "on the outer" if people dont agree with our decision/opinions. A thick skin helps! Portraying sense of humor is also a nightmare fraught with danger..IRL I am known for being quite tongue in cheek/sarcastic, but that often doesn't go down well in the written form to a bunch of strangers
I tend to approach any thread with the thought that i will put forward my opinions and ideas, and if people dont like them, then fine. I wont waste time or energy trying to convince people my way, but i will read along and often learn a lot along the way..sometimes i might even change my mind .
Good Luck KH...hope to see you back
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16-06-2015 04:18 #36
I know the thread you're referring to and I think there were one or maybe two comments where I did think "wow, bit harsh". But I also wonder sometimes if it's people's writing styles and the message not coming through very well, rather than necessarily being rude? Not everyone is always clear in their written communications on BH (myself included) so I find it's always good to clarify with people what they mean, especially if they're come across as being very confrontational.
I personally haven't witnessed any cliques or outright bullying as such on here.
On the other side of things, I've been accused of some pretty horrible things on here when I didn't actually say or mean those things. It's made me go back and re-read my comments and really think about how I come across 'in writing'. In some cases it's been due to my own badly worded sentiments, in others it's been someone else's sensitivities or misinterpretation. And sometimes it's on both sides.
Communication is a funny thing, especially written communication where you generally don't know the people you're interacting with. We could all do with some self reflection at times.
Wish you well but hope you decide to stay on.
16-06-2015 21:38 #37
I think if you're going to come on and talk about "another member" being "very nasty" you are absolutely worse than what you perceived I was. I know the exact post you are referring to, your description makes that clear. In no way was it "nasty". Yes i defended myself and explained i knew the op was venting and stated i didn't need it pointed out to me. This "tit for tat" business you imply i was out for is completely unwarranted.
Putting your opinion across is one thing, but openly (passive aggressively) referring to me as "very nasty" is pretty hypercritical.
If you felt my post was offensive towards you (not my intention) was nasty, report it, rather than bad mouth me. Thanks.
Last edited by ~Marigold~; 16-06-2015 at 21:40.
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16-06-2015 21:44 #38
Sorry to derail op. I do hope you're feeling better. FWIW, I think we've all kind of been there and felt a bit that way. I hope you do decide to stay x
16-06-2015 21:48 #39
Yes, I have to admit I am feeling that way after reading this thread 😳
OP, I hope you're feeling ok. You're a great chick, as you know :-)
16-06-2015 21:53 #40
I find it best to just lay low and not post or not come on for a while. I know i don't agree with alot of things here and I'm sure alot of ppl don't agree with me. But it's a forum after all and i honestly think tone canbe misconstrued alot to. And definitely alot wouldn't be said if it was face to face.
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