Wow 6k's that's great KiWolf! Certainly beats sitting at home and eating.
I went to pilates this am so I've been pretty good as I was out of the house. I had toast, fruit and tea for brekky. Then an hour or so ago I had left over roast pork and veggies (a decent sized bowl but not too excessive) and another cuppa. I can feel myself getting bored though, I'm craving something snacky. It's raining a bit outside though so I can't really get out. And I am a terrible housekeeper so it's not like I can get up and do housework rather than eat; it's very difficult for me to be motivated enough to do housework!
I really need to think of something I can do if I have nothing to do on a home day. If I sit at home, I eat. Maybe I should stop being so lazy and go for a walk sometimes!
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15-06-2015 13:07 #41Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
15-06-2015 18:07 #42
Here comes the part where I genuinely wonder if I have an eating disorder:
So today I had
A salad and a small slice of pudding for breakfast with coffee
A curried egg sandwhich for lunch
A big steak meal with veggies for dinner at my mums place
This all looks very normal- like an average persons day right? I was satisfied in terms of hunger at the end of this and came home to catch up on game of thrones.
The kids are at their dad's tonight- so I'm waiting for GOT to be ready and look around- I could hang out the washing on my indoor hangers- nah too tired- I could mop again? Nah-
Bored, alone, house is dead silent.
And it began...
Within 20 minutes I'd eaten:
A giant slice of pudding (double size)
A full half of a large size avocado
A glass of milk
Another glass of milk with about 7 teaspoons milo.
This was all one after another straight after coming home from a huge meal- absolutely no way t was hunger- it all happened one thing straight after another and eaten really fast- and was all done within 20 minutes- I'm so full right now I literally feel like I'm going to be sick- and I couldn't stop myself- it's like a frenzie I go on to fill some sort of void.. Until I can't possibly do it anymore..
This isn't normal. And it's embarrassing to come out and show the world what I do because it's always been this thing I do in private only.. What's wrong with me?
Last edited by KiWolf; 15-06-2015 at 18:10.
15-06-2015 18:13 #43
Ah. Boredom eater. That used (sometimes I fail) to be me. But now I start doing chores when I feel the need to eat. First I drink a huge glass of water. Then scrub or iron something. I'm currently sewing up hems by hand to avoid eating. It's killing me but I'm trying to persist.
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15-06-2015 18:24 #44
There are things I could have done instead - I know that, and I should have but it just simply didn't stop me :/
It started as "oh just a small price of pudding will be fine" and just once I started it went downhill from there. Now I can barely move I feel so sick after 20minutes of this.. I felt completely out of control during.
I worry about my health- both mental and physical- if I don't find a way to get on top of things.
First psych session tomorow.
15-06-2015 18:45 #45
I've been following but I don't want to say too much because, well, demons. But it sounds to me like an eating disorder, namely binge eating. I'm no psychologist so obviously wait and see what your psych days, but yeah.... been there, bought the t-shirt. Still battling. What makes me think that is when you mentioned trying to fill a void. My feeling at the time is almost trance-like. Like my body is doing something of its own accord even though my rational brain is saying stop.
Good luck with the psych.
15-06-2015 18:46 #46
I very much can be like this but for me it starts out as emotional eating but the Ibthink it becomes a habit and I can't help myself. I do ok during the day, I either eat normaly or hardly at all but then after dinner/kids are in bed I binge.
I know it's not healthy, I know what the problem is I just lack the self control right now to get it under control.
Good luck with your psych appt. I think I need to go back to mine as I was much more in control food wise whilst I was seeing her last time.
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15-06-2015 18:49 #47
Thank you Moxy- I know my behaviour, how it feels when I'm doing it and how out of control it is- I know how long it's been going on and I believe it certainly may be an eating disorder.
I've never really acknowledged it could be more than just a bad habit until so recently- but I'm seeing after so many attempts and failures to gain control and seeing it worsen to a daily thing- that I need more than just to "stop" or "try harder" I need help.
Thank you- I'm looking forward to getting a professional opinion so I can actually learn how to fight it x
I'm sorry to here you've been/are in the same boat- hope it's getting better for you.. X
15-06-2015 18:50 #48
16-06-2015 15:48 #49
Failed today too- but I've brought it up with the psych at least. He believes from what I describe that I have a disorder.
Today was ...less? Of a fail. It's hard for me to gauge- but still not a win today.
16-06-2015 18:14 #50
It's awful how much hard work it is. Baby steps are always a win.
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