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  1. #361
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    @Petal40 sorry to hear about your BFN, life sucks sometimes. I can relate to the pregnant friends making you sad, on FB this morning there was another pregnancy announcement. Its really hard to deal with sometimes and you cant change that, just know you aren't alone and that its totally ok to feel that way, they would be the same if it was the other way around. xx
    @Corbes I second what Blonde said, there seem to be a lot of people getting large egg hauls but then only ending up with 1 embryo or 2. I always find that strange, Im a low responder but my ratio from eggs to embryos is actually not that bad so I figure the Dr's know what they are doing. The more FSH they flood you with doesnt equal quality so you just have to hope for a good number of good quality embryos, even if thats only a couple, or 1! I think my E2 levels usually look better than my follicle numbers!! Try not to read too much into it at this stage (says me!!)
    @Skyler you sound more upbeat about things which is good. I know what you mean about having thoughts that kids would make life a bit more mundane, I have those more and more actually. DH and I both spend a lot of time doing stuff at home that we love doing and I know that that couldn't happen if we had kids. Nor would I be able to just quit my job and live on a shoestring. Its all part of the grieving process I think, sometimes I think we are past it all, and I wonder like you if I actually would have the energy to go down the donor path. I know we are supposed to be talking about that but I cant be bothered!! Guess I need to get through the next cycle and beyond this year to know whether i want that. Whilst Im not cycling I don't feel so consumed by it all.

    Hi to everyone
    one more week of work to go

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  3. #362
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    @tuxcat This is going to be your best week ever Luv because it's your last one!!!!

    @leyshoja How's the sniffing going Luv?? Almost time to pack you bags Girl!!!

    @Bongley How did you and DH get on with the counselling session and bidding on the houses etc Luv??

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  5. #363
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    Im someone that doesnt get huge numbers getting 5 eggs is good. Last time 5 eggs 4 mature and 2 fertilised. Im on elonva and 450. We are comfortable with cycling to end of the year then doing de overseas if no luck.

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  7. #364
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    Quote Originally Posted by Petal40 View Post
    Looks like I'm out. BT this morning, but POAS on the weekend and was a definite BFN. Have to work today so just needed to prepare for the call. I thought I was dealing with it ok yesterday, but to be honest, today I just want to crawl up in bed & cry. Found out yesterday another friend is pregnant, that's 3 of our close friends expecting atm, so doesn't really help my feelings of failure.
    Oh Petal40 that really sucks. I had a clear BFN on Saturday's pee stick so I didn't even bother getting my blood test done, I stopped my progesterone etc on Friday and got AF last night. On Friday when I realised it hadn't worked this month I had a major melt-down, as happens for one day every month when it is a BFN. It seems so petty when there are things like what @mrsmac123 is going through, but I know even though we try not to get our hopes up, it is hard. If we didn't have had hope we wouldn't keep going would we?

    My DH really got upset with me on Friday night, he finds it so hard, and every single time we argue about DE and what to do next. I don't quite have my head around DE yet because if I make that decision it means I'm giving up on ever having my own biological child - and to me that child is so real, and is just waiting in the wings to incarnate - if I give up on them it feels like I'm not giving that child a chance at life. So until I can walk away from that possibility, I am going to keep going in some way shape or form.

    @Luckyme1 that sounds hopeful - I hope your follies keep growing!

    @Corbes I hope that means the follies are better quality ones, fingers crossed!

    @mrsmac123 I am so sorry you have to go through this, it is one of the most confronting and horrid things you will ever have to face. Get all the help and support you need - counseling, medical, friends, family, helplines, us - just keep on reaching out and doing whatever it takes to get through. Sending you love and strength.

    Hi BIB
    Last edited by Summer; 29-06-2015 at 11:13.

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  9. #365
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    sending you big hugs too Leisylou. It never gets easier and it takes a lot to give up on your own eggs. You'll come to the right decision when you're ready, if you need to

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  11. #366
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    @Leisylou Oh Luv... I always got my hopes up, every single time, even when I swore I wouldn't because, as you say, you can't go on in whatever way, if all hope is lost

    I'm sorry your DH got upset with you Luv, I know how a BFN emotionally wrecks you when it happens, so can imagine how you were and what state you were in It would be so hard to get your head and heart around DE's (or the donor route as such in whatever form) and finding a place where you're accepting and able to embrace going down that path.

    From what the other Lovelies have posted about their experiences I know it takes time, sometimes a very long time, to find that place. And yes, they've all said they've had to be 100% satisfied that it's not going to happen for them with their OE's before they could even entertain the idea.

    For some people they never do find that place I guess, but that's where I feel counselling is vital and important to help you get to grips with it all if and when the time comes to start seriously considering it. I'm hoping of course, that you'll get your sticky BFP with your OE's, failing that, I believe you'll know when the time is right to start investigating that option in a serious way

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  13. #367
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    @Corbes Jesus Luv!!! That's a high level!! I don't think it's so much about cancelling the Cycle, but if those levels end up staying about the same or increasing by the time you're ready to Trigger, they may just do a freeze all anyway in case of OHSS (which kicks in after EC if it's going to or after a BFP sometimes) and cancel your transfer.

    Though in saying that, they didn't cancel you last time did they?? What did they Trigger you with last time?? Synarel?? Lucrin??
    By lowering the dose, they going to try not to get all those follies growing, so hopefully some will start to fall away over the coming days (which in turn should lower your E2 as well).

    No, I've never had high E2 but some of the other Lovelies will no doubt be able to help you out I'm not surprised you're bloated and feel like shiz!! What day of stimm's are you today??
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 29-06-2015 at 16:03.

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  15. #368
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    @Corbes Aaaahh..I see Luv It does sound as though you could be heading down the same path again

    Yep, the main thing is to get quality eggs happening, so that's what's going on in there!!!

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  17. #369
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    @Petal40 so sorry what is your next step, or are going to take a break for a while? No, you aren't a failure, its just crappy bad luck. Dealing with being surrounded by pregnancy is just the sh!tty cherry on the cake of what we have to deal with.
    @Leisylou aw bugger lady its not just a BFN it's years of trying all culminating in empty arms again and it hurts
    @tuxcat nearly a free woman now! Not being so consumed by it all sounds great, like a holiday in fact. I could really do with that! The donor option just became more and more attractive over 18 months as my chances of getting UTD seemed to get closer and closer to 0% The counselor I spoke to on friday wanted to get an idea for how long we'd been considering it for, I guess to make sure it wasn't a rash decision.

    @Corbes a different approach with less follicles might be a good move. Hope it means better quality! Plus they could increase your dose if they think you aren't responding well enough.
    @blondeinbrisvegas hi, thanks for asking! The counselor was lovely and it went well, helped by the fact that we'd been seeing a counselor from RPA who she knew. We have group counseling this friday but my donor is going to skype which is great, means she doesn't have to travel all the way to the city. So just a nursing appointment for me next week plus some blood test results and we should be ready to go!
    We made a bid on a house but its going to go for above our budget, so we've got another bid on the go for a place that is under a flight path and on a 6 lane road, has rising damp and tiny bedrooms. Chr!st on a bike, we've GOT to be able to get THAT one!!! Famous last words.

    good luck everyone
    @leyshoja when do you leave? Is the sniffing going ok?

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  19. #370
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    @Bongley Good to hear that everything is flowing smoothly r.e the counselling You're getting very close now to kicking this whole thing off!!!

    Bugger about the first house Luv I did have to LOFL about your description of this second one!!! "Renovators Delight" maybe??? You gotta start somewhere Luv!!!

    Anyhoo.... your bid get accepted!!!

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