+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    18
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0

    Default Differences in maturity levels amongst peers

    My Daughter has just turned 8 and is in year 2 with a mixed class of 1 and 2’s. All throughout her schooling she has struggled to fit in and make connections.
    While she is mid range academically, she is mentally very mature for her age, expresses herself in a mature manner, knows when things are unjust and just knows much about life as if she has been here before! I’ve had teachers comment on how mature she is when verbally expressing and explaining herself.
    She is tired of the cattiness within friendship groups around her and just wants to get on and be happy without the negativity. She notices the girls in class who are very self conscious about their looks; having to look perfect, dress perfect, hair perfect and have the best of everything or strive to be the best most popular girl in class. She doesn’t care less about all of that as long as she feels comfortable; however the girls in her year group make her feel as though she is not good enough just being herself, put her down about her looks (when in fact she is quite an angelic naturally pretty girl) She doesn’t want to do her hair perfect or dress up – she just wants to be accepted the way she is.
    I can see that she is dragged down emotionally by kids around her not having the same maturity level and she is unhappy at school because of this.
    Her Birthday was a Month past the cut off date so i held her back from starting school until the following year. In hindsight I should have pushed to get her in.
    Does anyone have any advice regarding this? Will be so very much appreciated!!
    Thank you in advance

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,858
    Thanks
    15,248
    Thanked
    11,459
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Quote Originally Posted by MAJS View Post
    My Daughter has just turned 8 and is in year 2 with a mixed class of 1 and 2’s. All throughout her schooling she has struggled to fit in and make connections.
    While she is mid range academically, she is mentally very mature for her age, expresses herself in a mature manner, knows when things are unjust and just knows much about life as if she has been here before! I’ve had teachers comment on how mature she is when verbally expressing and explaining herself.
    She is tired of the cattiness within friendship groups around her and just wants to get on and be happy without the negativity. She notices the girls in class who are very self conscious about their looks; having to look perfect, dress perfect, hair perfect and have the best of everything or strive to be the best most popular girl in class. She doesn’t care less about all of that as long as she feels comfortable; however the girls in her year group make her feel as though she is not good enough just being herself, put her down about her looks (when in fact she is quite an angelic naturally pretty girl) She doesn’t want to do her hair perfect or dress up – she just wants to be accepted the way she is.
    I can see that she is dragged down emotionally by kids around her not having the same maturity level and she is unhappy at school because of this.
    Her Birthday was a Month past the cut off date so i held her back from starting school until the following year. In hindsight I should have pushed to get her in.
    Does anyone have any advice regarding this? Will be so very much appreciated!!
    Thank you in advance
    I am sorry to say that make her stay wouldn't have made a difference. She will be fighting this battle to some extent all her schooling life. Hopefully she will find friends that she clicks with at some stage and these girls will become good friends.
    Just keep supporting her to just be herself.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    18
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you for your reply - Yes that is all I can hope for.

    Just makes me sad when she is put down because her "Lips are too Fat" "Eyes are too Small" "I don't want to play with you because I'm jealous of your hair" etc etc...

    The issues she is dealing with I was expecting closer to high school... Things have certainly changed a lot since I was at school!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    3,267
    Thanks
    326
    Thanked
    989
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    I am sorry to say that make her stay wouldn't have made a difference. She will be fighting this battle to some extent all her schooling life. Hopefully she will find friends that she clicks with at some stage and these girls will become good friends.
    Just keep supporting her to just be herself.
    I was going to say I've seen it in the workplace too just help her be the amazing individual she is and one day she'll find a click.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,106
    Thanks
    179
    Thanked
    669
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My daughter has always very mature (both physically and emotionally) for her age ( now almost 12), she is also one of the oldest in her class. At this point she doesn't seem to have any bullying issues, but I think it may be due to her inner confidence and independence. She just doesnt associate if possible with the "silly girls" (as she calls them) but has a close circle of friends, both girls and boys. I am a big believer in developing resilience, confidence and independence from a young age, in order to have the ability to deal with lifes unpleasant situations. Be open and available to chat about everything and anything. I would be concerned that she hasn't made any friendship connections as yet? Can you help her facilitate connections by organising playdates with children on a similar level?

  6. #6
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,658
    Thanks
    5,490
    Thanked
    5,962
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week
    it is super hard

    unfortunately, kids can be so mean ... and without necessarily trying to be at times.

    All you can do is reinforce to her that its what is inside that counts, and that she can find some friends with her own interests


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    8,544
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked
    2,307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    What about trying some outside interests ie putting her in swimming, gymnastics, horse riding etc etc to meet some new kids?

  8. #8
    SuperGranny's Avatar
    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    sunshine coast qld
    Posts
    6,318
    Thanks
    4,813
    Thanked
    2,918
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I hope she finds her place soon, but it can take a few years for the maturity levels to sort of equalise. I would be supporting her, and just building her confidence. is there any outside school activity that she might be interested in.? perhaps some sport group, ? dance group,? so she can find more friends that way. I would be just giving her as much confidence, and not dwell on the 'nasty' people. so sad how nasty kids can be. marie.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    18
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you for your replies.

    Yes she does after school activities most nights of the week, but it's hard to get to know any of the kids or parents as it is not really an environment where you can chat, however it does boost her confidence and she loves it.

    Kaybaby She seems to make friends easily enough, but after a while she gets tired of the silly things that they do and moves on to find the less annoying people. I've been working with her about accepting peoples differences and chat with her every day after school so that we can problem solve her issues at school as things arise.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Differences between pregnancies that end in MC
    By Gracie's Mum in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 18-04-2015, 07:09
  2. Subsequent pregnancies, big differences?
    By Que Sera in forum Third Trimester Chat
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 20-06-2014, 10:21

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
TribalanceTriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health ...
REVIEWS
"Pigeon teats rule!"
by Alex
Pigeon PP Wide Neck reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›