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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by BH-KatiesMum View Post
    I dont usually read much on Mamamia - but I love this article

    http://www.mamamia.com.au/lifestyle/parents-of-young-children-divorce/




    So - if you and your partner still like each other after having kids -
    Absolutely! Our first is only 10 weeks and I feel like we deserve a gold medal already!! God help us if we have more lol

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  3. #22
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    Married 11 years (together 15) with a Dd1 (7) Dd2 (2) and (2mth). I love DH, but there have been many times I could have walked. Parenting is hard work (seems to bring out the worst in the both of us at different times)... I would like to high five him in the face some days. But we get through, I guess we really are legends!

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  5. #23
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    Dp and i have been together 12 years. Got on so well prior to becoming parents 4 yrs ago. I can totally relate to this article. 100%.

  6. #24
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    High five people!

    I so remember when DD was a baby and DH and I were soooooo sleep deprived from the devil baby that didn't sleep, I had PND etc... and he looked at me and said "Fu(k knows why anyone would think one of these brings a couple closer together"
    We'd been together 8 years and married for two before she came along so I dunno if that theory holds but the devil baby is a lovely nearly ten year old now and we've had two more plus gone through more ups and downs than I can count and we still adore each other but yeah - hard work sometimes!

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  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    High five people!

    I so remember when DD was a baby and DH and I were soooooo sleep deprived from the devil baby that didn't sleep, I had PND etc... and he looked at me and said "Fu(k knows why anyone would think one of these brings a couple closer together"
    We'd been together 8 years and married for two before she came along so I dunno if that theory holds but the devil baby is a lovely nearly ten year old now and we've had two more plus gone through more ups and downs than I can count and we still adore each other but yeah - hard work sometimes!

    This sounds just like my husband and I, 2 weeks after having our DD I looked at him and said 'whose idea was it to have this baby!'

    It is such hard work, but 10 years and now 3 children I think we're doing just fine!

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  10. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by KitiK View Post
    I would like to high five him in the face some days.!
    Made my day kitik!! 😂😂😂😂. I'm so stealing this next time DH annoys me hehehe

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  12. #27
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    I can see how children can put a strain on relationships. No matter how strong it is. Dynamics change when a baby is born.

    I don't know what people mean by "try before you buy" as my husband and I were together 6 months when we moved in and just under a year when we bought a house. But we were both late 20's and been around the dating game a while and knew we were the one for each other. I guess being older, we were wiser and knew what we were looking for in a partner and we were both ready for commitment. I had travelled, lived overseas for 4 years and been in my career for 10 years when we met. My husband had been living in Australia for 6 years with permanent residency and had a good job and savings.

    If we waited 10-15 years to have kids then we might have had fertility problems and we would've been close to 40 or over 40 before having kids. No thanks.

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  14. #28
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    Also... my "try before you buy" is making sure my husband was good in bed. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with a dud

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  16. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Also... my "try before you buy" is making sure my husband was good in bed. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with a dud
    Hell yes!!

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  18. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedwith3boys View Post
    High five:
    22 years together with dh and we haven't been happier.

    I'm a bit bewildered tbh in regards to how having kids can throw a spanner in the works of a relationship to the extent that parents drift apart then separate.
    Perhaps the key is spending years with your partner and getting to know them properly before bringing children into the relationship then still making the effort and having time for your dh when kids do come along, keep the spark in your relationship and communicate. Share the raising and decisions regarding your children 50 50.
    Not sure really but must help surely!
    Seriously?! I'm bewildered as to how you don't see that marriages would be strained. Especially with 3 boys. I can only think you must have had an easy run.

    Exhaustion, financial pressure, too tired for sex vs always wants sex, sick children, hospital visits, uneven work loads, resentment etc. the list goes on. I know for us the fact we don't sleep and haven't slept through the night in 3 years while working makes us both grumpy and resentful at times. We are both committed, strong people who were raised to not give up (plus we love each other). I can see how people who may be mental illness or other stresses to deal with on top of the ordinary would be pushed over the edge. I know we've been standing on the edge a time or two...it would have been easier to jump sometimes.

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