DF and I decided that we would only have one attendant each at our wedding to keep costs down.
I only have one sister, so that decision was easy.
In 2012, DF was best man for one of his good mates. DF actually wasn't too keen on the whole thing- he only did it because his mate really wanted him to.
Now DF is torn as to whom to choose for his Best Man, and is worried about offending people.
The choices are:
1. The man whom DF was best man for. A good mate, but his wife isn't the happiest person on the planet. (which could make a few things difficult)
2. A really good and responsible mate of DF's who is very smart and level headed. If it weren't for option 1, then option 2 would be asked without hesitation.
3. A low contender. Another good mate of DF's, although he didn't ask DF to be in his wedding so DF feels that he won't be upset if he isn't asked.
4. SIL1's husband. DF sees him as an excellent backup and as a way of saying to all of his mates "Sorry, I asked BIL". He is held back though because BIL was in a horrific truck accident in 2006 that left him with burns to over 80% of his body. This means that direct sunlight can be a huge problem for him and as we are having a garden wedding in very late August, it could be a sunny day- sunny enough to cause problems for BIL.
The way I see it, is we have to find a way to ask option two to be best man as DF has said that is who he really wants by his side, without option 1 getting offended. But I'm stumped as to how to go about it.
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27-05-2015 12:14 #1
WWYD- A tough decision
Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 27-05-2015 at 12:21.
27-05-2015 12:17 #2
27-05-2015 12:19 #3
It's your wedding, i dont think you should feel obligated to have number 1 if you dont want to. Just get your DH to say sorry mate but we are only having one groomsman.
27-05-2015 12:20 #4
Number 2 for sure.
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27-05-2015 12:21 #5
If friend one gets upset he is immature. I would simply say that you could only have one and would chosen him if you could have afford 2 people each.
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27-05-2015 12:21 #6
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27-05-2015 12:23 #7
Ask who ever you like! It's your wedding.
In 5 years down the track you want to still be happy with your decision.
In the years down the track since our wedding we've lost contact with 2 members of our wedding party.
Seriously option 1 should be happy to be invited to the wedding and not expect anything more unless that's what DF really wants. If he sulks about the decision not to be Best man then obviously he's not the best fit for the job anyway!
27-05-2015 12:39 #8
Just ask option 2 and let option 1 help with things. He's only choosing one person so it's not like he had 4 choices and the 1st person wasn't any of them.
27-05-2015 12:43 #9
Number 2 definitely. I like the idea of coming up with a few things that number 1 can do to help. Just explain that you would love for him to be involved but that you are having a really small wedding party.
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27-05-2015 12:44 #10
Dh is always telling me that men don't think like 'us women', so don't read into things/over analyse like we do, so to that end, I would go with either no (2),
or BIL, the sun shouldn't be as strong/direct as it would be at the start of the day and in summer, so he should be ok.
Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 27-05-2015 at 14:38. Reason: privacy reasons
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