+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    149
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0

    Default Don't know who I am

    Do you ever feel you dont know who you are? I'm a mum of 2 beautiful girls who are my whole world. I just don't know who I am as my own person.. and don't really know how to work that out.. 😔 Does anyone else ever feel like that?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    238
    Thanked
    106
    Reviews
    0
    Constantly... I struggle to define with what I stand for, what I'm trying achieve with my life. All I know for sure is I have to keep going because I have 2 children and a DH who need me to look after them. There are no washing fairies at my house!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    330
    Thanks
    60
    Thanked
    214
    Reviews
    0
    I'm yet to become a Mum, so I don't really know how you feel. But plenty of my mum friends always say that they feel like they lost themselves when they had kids. I think the main reason is because you are always so busy putting everyone else first that you feel like you don't do anything for you.

    Try and find a hobby you can do for you, whether it be a dance class, gym, art class, cooking class, yoga, etc.

    One of my mum friends religiously goes and gets a pedicure/manicure once a month. She says that those few hours at the salon really help her have a break and flick through her favourite magazines that she never has time to read.

    Talk to your support system about it and organize something you can do for you. All the best.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    461
    Thanks
    863
    Thanked
    216
    Reviews
    0
    always, I dont think there really is a me anymore beside from parenting / house etc.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    13,047
    Thanks
    4,504
    Thanked
    7,936
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I know who I am, but I kinda feel like 'me' is mostly on hold and not really living life the way I used to.

    I'm mostly content with how things are now, I just enjoy myself extra when I get time out from being mum.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    450
    Thanks
    198
    Thanked
    169
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by ThenThereWereThree View Post
    always, I dont think there really is a me anymore beside from parenting / house etc.
    This exactly

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    2,029
    Thanks
    355
    Thanked
    836
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by rubytuesday24 View Post
    Do you ever feel you dont know who you are? I'm a mum of 2 beautiful girls who are my whole world. I just don't know who I am as my own person.. and don't really know how to work that out.. 😔 Does anyone else ever feel like that?
    This is me exactly... Right down to having two girls... I don't exactly see the way to change things ATM, I can't see a way to move forward...

    I'm hoping to start studying something, just so I have an identity separate to *just* being a mum...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,029
    Thanks
    1,845
    Thanked
    2,977
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    I know who I am, but I kinda feel like 'me' is mostly on hold and not really living life the way I used to.

    I'm mostly content with how things are now, I just enjoy myself extra when I get time out from being mum.
    I've felt like this since I had to leave work when pregnant with my 1st 8 years ago and slowly I'm accepting that it's okay to like this new way if life. Yes, I used to have fun, but now I have new fun. I think it helps that I have a retrained into a new career since having her, one that fits my 'new life' better.

    That said, I do still struggle with the feeling of not knowing what is me any more. I'm working full time again, so that aspect is sorted. I'm a mum to 2 special little munchkins, check. But, if 10 years ago you asked me what I was in to, or what I liked to do in my spare time time, I would have reeled off lists of music genres, authors, hobbies, countries, artists, events, clothing stores, cafes etc. Now it's like, um... what exactly is spare time? It seems my every minute revolves around work, things for the kids or things to keep the household running. There is just no space for much extra.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    8,395
    Thanks
    5,945
    Thanked
    4,955
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    I've felt like this since I had to leave work when pregnant with my 1st 8 years ago and slowly I'm accepting that it's okay to like this new way if life. Yes, I used to have fun, but now I have new fun. I think it helps that I have a retrained into a new career since having her, one that fits my 'new life' better.

    That said, I do still struggle with the feeling of not knowing what is me any more. I'm working full time again, so that aspect is sorted. I'm a mum to 2 special little munchkins, check. But, if 10 years ago you asked me what I was in to, or what I liked to do in my spare time time, I would have reeled off lists of music genres, authors, hobbies, countries, artists, events, clothing stores, cafes etc. Now it's like, um... what exactly is spare time? It seems my every minute revolves around work, things for the kids or things to keep the household running. There is just no space for much extra.
    OP I was thinking about this very thing last night and was going to start a thread about it!

    Unlike @Stretched if you had asked me that question pre kids I wouldn't have been able to tell you anything I was into then either. Having kids I feel like I've lost the opportunity to find that. It's one reason why DH and so are working our buts off to become mortgage free so we don't have to work full time and can dedicate time to a job we both love regardless of pay and spend more time with the kids. Then I can try and find myself but now.... I just don't have the time, I'm too tired and can't be bothered.

    In my thoughts last night I had wondered is it okay to not feel like the old you? Is it okay to just be or just feel like a mum??? I'm really not sure and if be interested in hearing others opinions on this too.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,877
    Thanks
    5,203
    Thanked
    3,904
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I completely understand. Sometimes parenthood completely overwhelmes us to the point that our own identity gets washed away with the dirty laundry.

    It's taken me a few years to realise that I'm actually as important as the kids. This does mean that sometimes I put myself first.

    There are a few things I do to keep my mental health in a happy place. I try and gym 3-5 times a week. I catch up with my kid free friends once a month without my children. I take an RDO once every 6-8wks just to do absolutely nothing. I plan Playdates so I can catch up with friends. I cook my favourite meals once a week and the kids can either eat that or elect baked beans on toast.

    Right now I'm in a really good headspace in respect to balancing my family and personal time. And because of it I'm a happier person and arguably a more patient mum.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Innovations Physio & PilatesWomen’s Health Physios who are able to assess and treat a wide range of Pregnancy and Post Natal Issues. We offer ...