+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst ... 3456 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 60
  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,873
    Thanks
    15,271
    Thanked
    11,472
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    20 years on I still struggle some days with grieve of losing my babies. It's such a complex thing. I know I blamed myself and my body for my losses. The cruelest thing that was said to me was to stop crying it just a bit of skin and bones.

    Grief is grief. You would say to a newlywed bride oh at least you know you can get married if her hubby died so why does anyone think it would help a saying to a mum.

  2. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    Chillies  (24-05-2015),Frankenmum  (23-05-2015),Fudge09  (23-05-2015),MaximumStarlight  (23-05-2015),Molros  (24-05-2015),Sally1981  (23-05-2015),SheWarrior  (23-05-2015),SuperGranny  (25-05-2015)

  3. #42
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Sunshine Coast
    Posts
    2,137
    Thanks
    919
    Thanked
    714
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week100 Posts in a week
    Ladies, I am so sorry to read of your losses Massive hugs to everyone

    I have had 2 early miscarriages in the last two years. I've heard a lot of the other comments mentioned.

    "At least you've already got your twins - this one wasn't even a baby yet."

    "Maybe you should give up, you're clearly not supposed to have anymore."

    Oh and my FIL keeps making smartar$3 comments to DH (behind my back) that I should get my tubes tied

    A simple "I'm so sorry for your loss," goes far enough.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Sabochan For This Useful Post:

    Sally1981  (23-05-2015)

  5. #43
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,309
    Thanks
    697
    Thanked
    688
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think Harvs and @delirium made good points. We're grieving. I was awake at 2am this morning sobbing and having flashbacks to the moment I had to let my boy go, still alive but passing, so I could go into surgery. Why is someone in my condition expected to be understanding at all times that others might feel uncomfortable about my personal tragedy and say the wrong thing? I can barely muster the emotional fortitude to get out of bed in the mornings. Having said that, I actually do understand, I'm just honestly too miserable to care that much about the discomfort of others right now.

  6. #44
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    642
    Thanks
    314
    Thanked
    191
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week

    Default Recurrent pregnancy loss - things people say

    Edit: Removed.
    Last edited by GemimaPuddleduck; 24-05-2015 at 09:55.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to GemimaPuddleduck For This Useful Post:

    DT75  (24-05-2015),harvs  (23-05-2015)

  8. #45
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2,500
    Thanks
    2,469
    Thanked
    2,300
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If only it was as simple as choosing to see everything in a positive light while greiving. I'm sure all the grieving mothers in this thread would love to be able to just choose positivity. But grief is different for everyone.

    For the record I'm a very positive, optimistic person. I choose to see the best in situations and people. But in the throes of grief that can be impossible, and I don't think it's something that anyone should even feel pressured to strive for. I think grief is a time when you're given a free pass to be negative, depressed, irrational, angry, and feel that life is unfair. Whatever you need to feel at the time to help you through.

    Anyway, I think it's time to move on from this train of conversation as I'd love for this thread to return to the OP's intention of being a safe place for greiving mums to voice the things they can't say IRL, and not feel judged or persecuted for their inner thoughts. They have enough to deal with already.

  9. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Frankenmum For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (24-05-2015),MaximumStarlight  (24-05-2015),MrsChino  (24-05-2015),Sally1981  (24-05-2015),SheWarrior  (24-05-2015)

  10. #46
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,309
    Thanks
    697
    Thanked
    688
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    If only it was as simple as choosing to see everything in a positive light while greiving. I'm sure all the grieving mothers in this thread would love to be able to just choose positivity. But grief is different for everyone.

    For the record I'm a very positive, optimistic person. I choose to see the best in situations and people. But in the throes of grief that can be impossible, and I don't think it's something that anyone should even feel pressured to strive for. I think grief is a time when you're given a free pass to be negative, depressed, irrational, angry, and feel that life is unfair. Whatever you need to feel at the time to help you through.

    Anyway, I think it's time to move on from this train of conversation as I'd love for this thread to return to the OP's intention of being a safe place for greiving mums to voice the things they can't say IRL, and not feel judged or persecuted for their inner thoughts. They have enough to deal with already.
    Thanks Frankenmum. The thread was actually making me feel better until all this started. It would have been better if she'd admitted she'd misjudged the point of the thread instead of talking about how she likes to 'stay positive' (I might add that one to my list), but I think she tried to find a way back in the best way she knows how.

    Anyway, my first day back at work after DS2 was born and died, my boss said 'so how does it feel to not be pregnant anymore?'

  11. #47
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    3,023
    Thanks
    1,958
    Thanked
    1,508
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Thanks @GemimaPuddleduck, I get what you were trying to say, and appreciate your apology.

    I was going to share my loss and "wisdom" shared by family and friends, and empathise with other... but I don't feel like it now.

  12. #48
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,309
    Thanks
    697
    Thanked
    688
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Recurrent pregnancy loss - things people say

    .
    Last edited by Sally1981; 24-05-2015 at 17:42.

  13. #49
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    642
    Thanks
    314
    Thanked
    191
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week

    Default Recurrent pregnancy loss - things people say

    @DT75 please don't let my post discourage you. I am one person and I realise my post was hurtful and should have never been posted. I am sorry to all who I have upset and I will not be back to this thread. xx
    Last edited by GemimaPuddleduck; 24-05-2015 at 09:58.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to GemimaPuddleduck For This Useful Post:

    Sally1981  (24-05-2015)

  15. #50
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Vic
    Posts
    1,062
    Thanks
    839
    Thanked
    779
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Anyway, my first day back at work after DS2 was born and died, my boss said 'so how does it feel to not be pregnant anymore?'[/QUOTE]


    wow. Some people should *really* not be involved in people management

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to SJ565 For This Useful Post:

    Sally1981  (24-05-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 344
    Last Post: 24-07-2016, 07:14
  2. What NOT to say to someone after pregnancy loss
    By MummyUnicorn in forum Pregnancy Loss Support
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 07-09-2014, 20:03
  3. Help & advice pregnancy after loss
    By Gorgette in forum Get support from other users
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-07-2014, 17:02

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
L'il Aussie Prems FoundationAn Australian charity supporting families of premature babies & children. The charity assists families who are at ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
ConfusedConception & Fertility General Chat
@Nattie84General Chat
Miracle March TTC and Testing ChatConception & Fertility General Chat
Same Sex Parents TTC #5Same Sex Parents
I think I'm pregnant and I'm freaking out!Pregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
Positive or negative? Clear blue or First ResponsePregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
HGC lelvels stressed please helpConception & Fertility General Chat
REVIEWS
"Pigeon teats rule!"
by Alex
Pigeon PP Wide Neck reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›