+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default First pregnancy and scared.

    All I have ever wanted to be is a mum and 3 weeks ago I found out I'm pregnant 8 weeks today to be exact and the circumstances atm are not the best. I'm not in a relationship with the father, I'm back at home living and currently unemployed. The father wants a termination as we aren't in a financial situation to raise a child atm and he is right but I don't know if that's what I want to do. I'm so torn!! I never thought I would be ever considering this but the circumstances that this has happened under are not what I thought would happen. I'm so scared either way. If I keep it I'm scared that I won't be able to give it the life it should have and I'm scared that if I terminate I will regret it.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    237
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    80
    Reviews
    0
    Hi,
    Firstly, I'm really sorry you are in such a difficult situation.
    Remember that whatever decision you make is obviously permanent so do not let anyone convince you either way. You are certainly not the first nor will you be the last to be in one of these kinds of situations - take your time and I'm sure you will make the best choice.
    It might help to see a GP or something who could go through your options with you, i.e. what benefits you might qualify for or even what is involved in a termination if that's what you decide to do.

    It sounds so basic, but sometimes making a big list of pros and cons for every decision can help get your head around it.

    Best wishes.
    Last edited by CodieBloom; 21-05-2015 at 08:42.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    330
    Thanks
    60
    Thanked
    214
    Reviews
    0
    Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Remember that you also have adoption as an option if you feel that you couldn't terminate.

    Take your time with your decision and don't allow the father to influence you. This is your body and you should do what you feel is right.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Yeah I considered adoption but I just don't think I could go through all of that and then hand over my baby. It's such a hard decision and everyone has said to take time and think about it and take my time but to be completely honest I'm so over thinking about it. I just wish I knew what I wanted either way. If I had a full time job there would be no question in my mind I would keep it but I just don't know.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you both but

  6. #6
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,671
    Thanks
    5,501
    Thanked
    5,965
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week


    its such a scary thing - but the decision is yours. You are the one who will have to live with the baby, or the consequences ... so its completely up to you.

    Would the Father of the baby stay with you if you continued? How do your family feel? are they prepared to help you and the baby?


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2,510
    Thanks
    2,477
    Thanked
    2,306
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by kateandbub View Post
    If I had a full time job there would be no question in my mind I would keep it but I just don't know.
    I think this sentence right here answers your question for you.... If you take out all of the 'other stuff' you're left with this -

    "there is no question in my mind I would keep it".

    I think you know what your heart wants.

    For the record I am 100% pro choice, so I'm not trying to sway you either way.

    Best of luck hun x

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    1,554
    Thanks
    431
    Thanked
    755
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I've been in a very similar situation, and it was extremely difficult. I kept changing my mind between termination and keeping the baby, finally deciding on keeping the baby. One of the main factors in my decision was family support; my family were incredibly supportive and welcoming of the idea of bubs.

    Either way, it's a decision you will always have to live with. Best of luck with your choice. If you ever want to PM me, I'm happy to chat

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    722
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked
    167
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    I think this sentence right here answers your question for you.... If you take out all of the 'other stuff' you're left with this -

    "there is no question in my mind I would keep it".

    I think you know what your heart wants.

    For the record I am 100% pro choice, so I'm not trying to sway you either way.

    Best of luck hun x
    Agree - I read this and thought your heart wants it. I'm pro choice too (not that it matters).

    If money is the major concern, perhaps work out what your entitlements will be before you decide.

    And also maybe try to picture what you're life will be like in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years with each choice you make, rather than focussing on the moment. It's natural to feel terrified.

    All the best to you.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    Engadine
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    4
    Reviews
    0
    I think talking to your gp or somebody independent you can trust to explore all your options objectively is a really good idea. there may be options for financial support that you don't know about that could help you if you decide to continue as well.
    Have a look at humanservices.gov.au for info about potential benefits too.

    All the best for your decision, I hope it works out for you xo


 

Similar Threads

  1. I am scared that...
    By harvs in forum General Chat
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 08-06-2015, 15:50
  2. Scared of possible Ectopic
    By sunnygirl79 in forum First Trimester Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 19-12-2014, 00:31

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Baby Car Seats and Infant Car RestraintsBuying a baby car seat? Check out our 'go-to' links here!
FORUMS - chatting now ...
HGC lelvels stressed please helpConception & Fertility General Chat
High Natural Killer Cells #9Reproductive Immunology
Happiness thread.General Chat
Netflix - what should I watch?Movies / Music / Books / TV Chat
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
REVIEWS
"Pigeon teats rule!"
by Alex
Pigeon PP Wide Neck reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›