I need some advice please...
my sister tried to commit suicide yesterday. I've only found out. Im lying in bed, not able to sleep, trying to make sense of it all. I've suspected for years now that she had some issues. We're not close, more like aqantences. Having said that I have tried for years to befriend her, only to be pushed away. I drove a 3 hour round trip every 3 weeks to visit and take lunch. I was worried about her. I think she realised it and was a bit over the top with making out that all was happy on her home front. I Invited her over to our place many times, again, it was declined. Just last week, I decided to throw in the towel. I'm tired with trying with her, I've been trying for 6 years. She has never driven to our place just to visit, never Called me ( really, I mean never) never supported me when I've had major life crisis- close deaths, births of my children etc. My sister said that she spent the day with her and her hubby at the hospital, and only called us late tonight to tell us.....what the hell.She said that we( Hubby & I ) aren't allowed to visit her in hospital....WHY. the only people that are allowed to are, her, and a friend of my sisters?????
she has 3 small kids. I heard on the grapevine that her hubby is going to ask me to look after their kids. It's late, and I still haven't heard anything. I'm feeling so angry at the moment. I feel like I've been kept in the dark, on purpose, but I don't know why. I feel stressed about everything. I have 4 kids of my own who are giving me BIG grief at the moment and work full time. I, not sure I can take on another 3. With what I have going on in my house.
Lim so worried that if I don't take their kids, I'll look like I don't care, and might jepudise my chance to show them that I do care. Sorry if I don't make any sense. I'm so confused at the moment.
how should I approach this????
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18-05-2015 22:22 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
*Trigger Warning* My sister tried to kill herself.....
18-05-2015 23:01 #2
I'm so sorry Op what an incredibly difficult thing for everyone involved.
As for how do you approach this? Tough one but in my opinion, you don't. Don't actually do anything until you've been asked.
At this point in time, no one is asking so you don't need to do anything.
Obviously that can be frustrating and make you feel anxious however, so soon after such an intense situation is not likely to be the time to make big decisions.
Be very kind to yourself. Send a card or flowers if you like. Or, depending on the situation call your sister.
If you want to visit, if you think that's the right thing for your sister, then do. However try not to be upset if she doesn't want you there.
At this point in time, it's really only about your sister.
I would consider counselling for you to assist you to work through the huge variety of feelings you're having and are likely to have as time progresses.
Take good care of yourself
19-05-2015 06:00 #3
The stigma about mental illness is still quite strong for some. Some people aren't comfortable telling people even people close to them. Maybe she hadn't seen anyone before this.
The first thing you need to remember and keep in fore front of your mind is 'that it's not about you is about her'. Suicide is about ending their pain. There pain gets to point they just can't see anything beyond the pain.
Please see someone yourself to help you deal with it.
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